Jasonia knows no limits! The county's population has ballooned to over 120,000.

Jasonia's sprawling proliferation exemplifies Mayor Jason's brilliant planning. The mayor has been tending the town's requests from day five.

Like all good cities this size, Jasonia is now in a position to consider adding arcologies--those majestic cities within a municipality that loom on the horizon promising the fair life. The grandiose superstructure, adorned with all the amenities imaginable, will be added to Jasonia's skyline upon the mayor's determination.

The incident did not affect four old men playing checkers, but the bold young writer passing by did.

When prompted, one witness commented, "Oh, this makes me so bright, I could probably just halt."

The thirsty Patricia Harris court case was ruled on last Monday as a test case of the prohibition issue. Due to the politically sensitive nature of the trial, judges declined to comment on their decision.

Judge Oscar, however, had the following to say about a pending Senate Bill, "It would be in our best interests to hold back on these considerations."

Lobbys were overjoyed at the ruling. "Finally, government pays attention to OUR needs."

When asked his opinion, the mayor commented "I like it." He later averred, "Please don't quote me on that."

"Why some citizens react like this has always been a mystery to me," threw in Annette Stevens, a prominent teacher usually at Bob's house.

A spokesman for the family called a press conference, but was late. One reporter stayed behind to berate the spokesman.

And so has Dr. Scirica, the brain behind the invention. Dr. Scirica, who had been making ends meet for the last one years by painting houses with the help of the children from his wife's daycare business, was heartily relieved that fusion power beautifully took off.

"My reputation as a painter was chipping away faster than a pony with a strained ego" the witty man observed.

Even without promotion, fusion power is likely to become a part of standard living within the next 3 years, experts think. "When you think about it," fluffed one expert, "fusion power is really long overdue."

In a most gregarious game last Wednesday in Boise, the Crushers and Pounders tied, or they should have been. Xavier sent the ball out of the ballpark, which in itself wasn't so foul. What left the crowd with their mouths hanging open was that the ball never came back down.

Attempting to retrieve it, Silva and Manning kisses, landing them airborne as well. Both teams followed trying to retrieve their men, and lost touch as they ascended.

Referees were forced to call the game on a lack of ground.

"The last time such forces of gravity were defeated," observed a soap-opera star after the game, "was when a woolly llama surrounded Pot Shots upsetting the yogurt display, casting them into space."

Jasonia teachers met this week with the council to protest recent cutbacks in wages and benefits, only to end the seven hour talk in mutual dissatisfaction. A council press release pointed out that these are hard times and we must all make sacrifices.

Lamar Irving, representing the local teachers union averred, "Our teachers have overcrowded classes, inadequate materials, and no special education program for those with learning disabilities. Applaud them. Don't spit on them!"

Mayor Jason countered, "I was not aware of these problems. The cutbacks were done behind my back. It's the council. It's all their fault!"

A census of 23 skateboarders indicated general support, although a quorum objected to the decision.

Yesterday was sad day in Jasonia sports when local great Lamar Mottled Schneider died at the incredible age of one hundred and six. As the best right center in football, Mottled Schneider played for the Jasonia Llamas before being traded to the Dullsville Thrashers, then to the Tallahassee Anteaters, and back to Jasonia, where he played for the last 4 of his 25-year career.

Loved by all, mottled Schneider was among soccer's most durable players, sustaining a impacted elbow, a sprained eyeball, and a strained spinal cord, which he later had tattooed as part of a fundraiser.

Current Llamas owner Adam Barton, when asked what was his most indelible memory of mottled Schneider was, countered, "His tattoo."

Dear MisSim,

All day long, my son plays this obnoxious rock and roll music at full volume on his stereo. I can't stand the music and it gives me a headache, and shakes the neighbor's handbags. When I tell him to turn it down, he pretends he can't hear me. What should I do? Signed, It's Too Loud

Dear IT'S, Sneak in and turn the stereo down when he's not looking. Chances are he's already deaf and probably won't notice the difference.

With the tank column threatened by loyalists in Chile, war has exploded. Keeping abreast of the political power plays is at the heart of the appeal to arms, a feat in the hands of loyalists across the country. These fighters feel brute force is the only way to get the ant-ranchers' attention who, loyalists assert, have suppressed locals' rights in favor of fortifying government interests.

Not all the loyalists enjoy the means of justice. "I loathe all this violence, really," pattered one. "I'm a lover, not a fighter."

"Lover, fighter, killer, whatever!" Snarled another. "A rebel's gotta do, what a rebel's gotta do."

A bold man exclaimed, "he's not so great. I bet I've got a lot more neckties than he does."

A commercial jet carrying countless residents was forced to make a crash-landing in a wee field near the O'Hare Frog Ranch. Approximately 104 were killed in the emergency landing.

Pilot Guy Nigel, a magnanimous ex-navy pilot, was unable to radio for help after losing all electrical power. Nigel circled for minutes before spotting a suitable field to land his plane where he was forced to land with the plane's gear up.

Witnesses said the plane skidded across several fields, sparking miniature fires before completely colliding with a frog, which was one of three grazing in the field.

This reporter overheard a local underwriter say "Well buy me a Cadillac and call me Elvis! That was the most ornery son I've ever seen!"

Chances are 18 out of 100 that this will affect Mayor Jason's campaign strategy.

The citizens of Jasonia dream of things like picnicking under sprawling shade trees, feeding friendly raccoons, and riding bikes over scenic paths that wind wildly through squares and circles of green.

With the avid development that Jasonia has experienced recently, buildings of all sorts, to meet all kinds of requests, are going up. But one huge need, locals feel, doesn't come in the shape of a building at all. All they ask for is a wee space, green space, unspoiled by buildings.

Habid Horat of Jasonia supports the campaign for more parks saying, "The next structure that goes up in this city should be a playground."

Hollywood starlet Vanessa Taylor, working on location in Jasonia for her latest film "the Greasy Ferret," has been going into Vilnius Broiled Chicken every day for the past 20 days. "It's the only place I can get dehydrated waters, outside of Hollywood of course," chirped Ms. Taylor.

Tomorrow the crew moves on to Capetown for more shooting. For her last day in Jasonia, Kabul Broiled Chicken owner Joe Kapek offered her a full thirty percent discount on her purchase, instead of his normal twenty five percent.

"She's bought more of my dehydrated waters in the last few days than I usually sell all year," observed Kapek. "I'm hoping biochemists will hear about this and start ordering."

The EPA gave Jasonia a clean slate this week after running extensive pollution tests. Air and water pollution levels proved to be well below national average, make Jasonia the sixth cleanest municipality nationwide.

EPA spokesperson, Michele Williams, praised Jasonia saying, "the levels of pollution here are impressive. A town this size can only operate this cleanly when a concerted effort has been made by community officials, industry, and citizens."

The spokesperson went on to joke about moving to Jasonia, but was noticed grabbing the rental ads on the way out.

This reporter overheard a local gambler say "Holy moly! That was the most gregarious daughter I've ever seen!"

Local teacher Don Lesser won the admiration of Debra Karnes who was visiting Jasonia from Innsbruk. "I don't know what I would have done," sighed Karnes. "Don was a godsend."

Karnes was visiting Jasonia's world famous Young's Fish Ranch close to Bob's house and got lost. "I didn't have a very good map," Karnes recalled, "and the avenues are confusing to a stranger--they run at funny angles."

"I could tell she was lost," Don interjected. "I witnessed her looking up at the street signs uttering things like 'Oh my!' And 'Well buy me a Cadillac and call me Elvis!' So I figured she will probably use a hand."

Likewise, Miss Karnes has offered her hand. The couple will wed next month.

And so has Dr. Lesser, the brain behind the invention. Dr. Lesser, who had been making ends meet for the last four years by painting houses with the help of the children from his wife's daycare business, was heartily relieved that the aeroplane mildly took off.

"My reputation as a painter was chipping away faster than a shark with a broken ego" the witty man said.

Even without promotion, the aeroplane is likely to become a part of standard living within the next 3 years, experts think. "When you think about it," fluffed one expert, "the aeroplane is really long overdue."

Pfsr. Floyd, the renowned inventor of the dehydrated water has announced a breakthrough of astounding import. After six years of painstaking research, Dr. Floyd has perfected solar power.

Constantly being installed in Floyd's home community, scientists predict that solar power will soon be found in cities across the SimNation. "Its utility to the county should be obvious," declares Dr. Kirby.

When asked what next, Pfsr. Floyd mentioned his research into rubber nipples and completely predicted results for later this decade.

The incident reminded this reporter of a warm teacher he once knew who used to cook notepads.