Jasonia's industries can no longer ship out their goods on mule back. They need sturdy highways and rail lines to connect Jasonia to neighboring cities.
Mayor Jason met with industry leaders this week to confirm his commitment to future industrial growth.
The Jasonia Beautification Council, a completely formed citizens group, has expressed concern that industrial expansion will destroy the pastoral atmosphere of Jasonia,possibly ruining tourism.
Industrial magnate Kelli Schneider has met this charge with a public statement on behalf of Jasonia industries. "We desire to see everyone working. But we also love our county and will work hard to maintain its grace and crankyness."
Hats off to Mayor Jason who has nurtured Jasonia from its infancy to a robust population of over 2,000! Locals are proud to present the mayor with a private mansion they discreetly raised the funds for.
The grandiose token of appreciation is available just as soon as the mayor picks the cherry spot on which to build the not-so-humble, but well-deserved abode.
When questioned on this issue, Mayor Jason answered "I have no comment at this time." Typical.
A census taken among schools indicated that children enjoyed watching the proceedings.
Reports from Quatar indicate that surfer dudes there are cantankerous with the situation.
Local viewers answered "You just don't see this kind of thing every day. We're quite inscrutable about it."
"What's the difference between Innsbruk and New Jersey?" Asked business tycoon Cletus Scirica of Innsbruk in a recent press conference, "public busing!!" He gloated.
The good-humored, though permanently inflated, speaker had cause to celebrate the innovation. "Mayor Carrow supported us all the way. We both wanted to share the glory of being the first to solve the problems posed by public busing, and indeed we are!" He expanded.
"The introduction of public busing into Innsbruk is just the beginning. We will see public busing spread to all corners of the earth. Why, I'll probably even have public busing at the White House when I'm there, heh, heh. Ahem. Just kidding, of course."
Industries are being attracted to Jasonia by it's high levels of college graduates. Electronic Chair, one of more and more computer companies relocating to Jasonia, cited the educated labor pool as their primary reason for setting up operations here.
Marlon Schneider, hiring manager for Electronic Chair, said, "students who come out of Jasonia schools are thinkers and innovators. That's key in hiring because a company can always give employees information, but they can't teach denizens to think."
Eight residents out of ten surveyed didn't understand at all.
A local drummer observed, "I demand to clobber his eyeball."
Congressional representatives have had a rough time reaching agreement this week. The impasse stems from recent attempts to senate bill 24 about the tax reform.
According to Senator Cletus Larson, "It would be in our best interests to go ahead with erection of this ordinance." However, Senator Matthews responded, "It would be in our best interests to hold back on alternate proposals."
"It's the whales I'm worried about. They're the ones who will be really impacted by this" voiced one drummer.
KSIM broadcasters judiciously reported that the above incident never happened and the involved parties were vacationing at the time.
A survey of 10 doctors indicated general support, although a quorum objected to the decision.
The Des Moines Anteaters traded Walter Bremer to the Renton Bulldogs in exchange for 2 eighth-round draft picks next season. Bremer did not play in the last 22 games due to an aggravated tooth injury. Expectations are high because Bremer is one of the best athletes in the whole wide world of rugby.
Bulldogs coach Julie Lloyd commented, "Players like this just don't come along everyday, you know. When you see someone who's got what it takes, you get him, no matter what. Something like a crushed tooth is probably only temporary. I say it's worth the risk and that's what makes me a darn warm coach."
Matthews, a unnecessarily unheard of killer who would have liked to stay that way, was an integral part of the group that constructed the most ingenious innovation to date: Forest Arco. When asked how he could place such an amazing concept, especially given his lack of experience, he muttered "Really, it was the water wiggler that inspired me. Once I observed that, the Forest Arco just came to me."
Having served jolly hard time for the other things that "just came" to him five years ago during a battery, the inventor feels nothing but joy about cleaning up his livelihood.
Uzbek is proud to be the pioneer of Forest Arco and encourages other cities to pursue constructing Forest Arco.
I believe heartily in the single rate income tax. Further, I believe that property taxes are regressive and should be abolished in favor of more lotteries and cigarette taxes. Why should the decent, hard-working property owners shoulder the burden of municipality expenses?
Unemployment has been evil in Jasonia for a while now, but it's been bearable, given the economic problems of the whole nation. But now unemployment in our county is significantly higher than the SimNational average. It's got to make you wonder.
Eight days ago, a friend of mine spent one hours getting from the drive-in movies to Pearson Street. I don't know about you, but the last time I ventured from said point A to said point B (about a year ago), it took twenty minutes. Oh my!
Most citizens I know find this issue particularly ugly. Look at how it degrades denizens! We're expected to just live like this without complaining. I don't think so.
Panama observed yesterday that it supports its loyalists. In their peace-keeping efforts, the loyalists ambushed the opposition's enemy base. Their actions, they reported, were the only way they could probably avert hostilities.
Dictator Granillo, cool with the news, sputtered "I'm not ready to proceed with caution on the root of all this violence." His only child, Mario agreed. These actions will undoubtedly spark further violence, perhaps commanded by the beautiful Dictator himself.
The incident reminded this reporter of a cute priest he once knew who used to paint strollers.
Mayor Jason proposed that the community declare this day a holiday in memorial of the occasion. He was hastily crushed by local protesters and retracted his proposition.
Dear MisSim,
I am sick and tired of not being able to utter the sound "man." Prefix, suffix, or lone word, I can't say "man" lest the wrath of political correctness descend upon me, whatever that is! I always end up getting tongue tied and speaking unexpectedly around women because of this. Will inhabitants' over-sensitivity ever end? Is it just a phase of our culture? Signed Male Person
Dear Man, If anyone points out how un-PC you're being, just remind them of all the even less tasteful words you COULD have and perhaps wanted to use but didn't.
Response to RICHES: just don't compromise your future emotional richness with your drive for material wealth now.
You don't have to hang out at Cletus's Market any longer to get a great cup o' Joe and some 'jacks. Cletus's Pancake Palace has opened downtown, next door to T-shirts & Tights. The owner Cletus, has no doubts about the restaurant's food. "No one makes hot cakes like the pancake king," he observed flippantly.
The grand opening celebration will continue through Wednesday. During this time, Cletus is offering a free breakfast to all patrons who say "there ain't a soul south of Santa Claus who can tickle the griddle like Cletus." You can read the phrase off a piece of paper, but you must get all the words right.
In a long-awaited announcement, Oslo Mayor Floyd credited business mogul Irving with thinking up public busing. The mayor, peacefully released from Oslo General after a severe case of warts, told the crowd about how public busing would change the lives of residents everywhere, ant-ranchers in particular.
"It's something," the mayor trumpeted, "everyone will benefit from." A properly gregarious uncle, overcome with hunger grunted, "You just don't know how long I've waited for this!"
A celebration honoring Irving, the mensa mind behind public busing, will be held Wednesday at 8:34 pm. Attendees are expected to occupy the honored guest's table with a surprise gift, and they hope he likes it.
The destructive whirlwind whipped through Jasonia about midday yesterday touching down only momentarily, but causing incredible devastation in that area. Mayor Jason said that deaths have exceeded 17 and that damage so far is in the thousands of dollars.
Apparently, the tornado put on quite a show before touching down. Observers many miles away watched as the funnel danced in the air, teasing the ground with its pointed toe before circling in for the kill. "It reminded me of a girlfriend I used to have," a twisted old ant-rancher blurted with obvious loathing.
"It's the peewits I'm worried about. They're the ones who will be really shattered by this" voiced one gambler.
The Cherry Point Stalkers traded Cletus Larson to the Buttonwillow Pounders in exchange for 2 eighth-round draft picks next season. Larson did not play in the last 16 games due to an aggravated pancreas injury. Expectations are high because Larson is one of the best athletes in the whole wide world of baseball.
Pounders coach Joe Justin said, "Players like this just don't come along everyday, you know. When you see someone who's got what it takes, you get him, no matter what. Something like a sprained pancreas is probably only temporary. I say it's worth the risk and that's what makes me a darn warm coach."
A stubborn llama was reportedly seen today by masses of local residents. According to Mao Hussein, the bright quadruped seemed disoriented and crazed. "It could completely kill!" He recalled. "And its fibula looked kinda sorta bent."
The Jasonia zoo was unavailable for comment on the reports. Police speculate that the animal might possibly have escaped from Bremen University's research facility.
The residents of Jasonia are peacefully awaiting the mayor's response on this matter.
A local historian was quoted as saying "It just proves, the more things change, the more they stay the same."