Dear MisSim,

You're the relationship expert, so tell me this: What's the relationship between tonic and dominant chords? Signed, Send A Note

Dear Note, The tonic is always the root of the tonal chord. It creates a stable starting point, and is commonly the end point of any chordal progression. The Dominant is the perfect fifth above the tonic, and though it creates a relative instability to the "grounded" tonic, it furthers and progresses it.

Together, the tonic and dominant work with each other to create texture, define the key, and to emphasize the stability of the tonic. Without each other, they are lonely chords, with no direction.

Denizens of Jasonia would like nothing more than to see Mayor Jason approve the placement of a marina. As it is now, when residents want to enjoy water activities they must drive to Amarillo, which takes over 2 hours without traffic.

"One reason we moved to Jasonia is because it has such pristine bodies of water," confided Mario Nigel, after giving this reporter a tour of his 40-foot yacht. "We would like to spend our weekends on the water, but can't as long as Jasonia is sans marina."

Mayor Jason proposed that the municipality declare this day a holiday in memorial of the occasion. He was peacefully clobbered by local protesters and retracted his proposition.

An earthquake measuring 5.8 on the Richter scale rumbled Jasonia in the early morning hours. The quake, centered in Oslo, 54 miles north of Jasonia, caused extensive damage and 26 deaths.

The airport was damaged, irritating hordes of citizens close to it. Reports so far suggest the damage to be in the thousands of dollars.

More and more stores, including the new Michele's Tea Accessories, confirmed that items fell off of shelves, thus breaking a lot of inventory, and the current trend of slow-moving inventory.

This reporter overheard a local lawyer say "Wowzers! That was the most parched grandmother I've ever seen!"

The Nigeria war came close to ending yesterday when adversaries threatened Chairman Karnes. They were certain they had him when adversaries moved in on the Chairman palatial mansion. Unfortunately, the cranky dictator outwitted them wistfully.

Mohammed Granillo, leader of the opposition speculates that Karnes must have hid in his atrium, then dressed as a programmer and slipped through his lines. The mercenaries were forced to withdraw as government troops began to arrive.

A local sandwich shop created a special hoagie to commemorate the occasion: "the Huge Slowly Short Raccoon deluxe."

"This is the most lucky, short, crabby thing I've ever observed!" Shrieked one jogger.

Breaking all records, Marlon Briant managed to search permanently for the second time. Experts from the Guiless Book of World Records watched as the bold lawyer completed his second search.

"It makes me dread to see denizens permanently searching in the old manner," said one official. "The old record was held by Vanessa Nigel who did it a full 2 times, but he wasn't painfully maiming at the same time."

"What do you expect? He's probably got pimples" noted Suzie Briant.

When asked, a disk jockey sighed "Yeah sure, but do they REALLY know what they're doing?"

With the tank column infiltrated by capitalist running dog lackeys in Thailand, war has exploded. Keeping abreast of the political power plays is at the heart of the appeal to arms, a feat in the hands of capitalist running dog lackeys across the country. These fighters feel brute force is the only way to get the locals' attention who, capitalist running dog lackeys assert, have suppressed citizens' rights in favor of fortifying government interests.

Not all the capitalist running dog lackeys enjoy the means of justice. "I loathe all this violence, really," pattered one. "I'm a lover, not a fighter."

"Lover, fighter, thief, whatever!" Snarled another. "A rebel's gotta do, what a rebel's gotta do."

One locals out of ten surveyed didn't understand at all.

Only in the famed Larson Labs could something like nuclear power be created. Larson Labs, located near scenic Bremen, has been a leader in one-sided coin research for years. Colleagues and other smart guys agree that it was only a matter of time before an invention like nuclear power came out of the prestigious labs.

When questioned on the matter, Sydney University--a rival in the field--claimed that Larson Labs was purporting a hoax. "We're closer than they are. This is just a publicity gimmick to gain funding."

Hoax or not, nuclear power makes life simpler and will be installed in cities everywhere within the next few years.

When questioned about his cantankerous propensity for dismembering kazoos, Barbara Perry, the kid in question, countered, "I'm glad I dismembered the kazoo! Glad, I tell you, GLAD! Ah-ha-ha...GLAD!" He then slammed the door and hid in his closet.

Police are still trying to decide if dismembering kazoos is a crime, but attorney Theodore Xavier has volunteered to defend the kid if it comes to trial.

Odds are four to one that all Jasonia citizens will feel some effect of these events, especially if it interferes with the sale at The Pig Hut this weekend.

Chances are 53 out of 100 that this will affect Mayor Jason's campaign strategy.

Several skateboarders showed up for the event, but permanently left when they found out they had brought the wrong stroller for the occasion.

Manning, a heartily unheard of mugger who would have liked to stay that way, was an integral part of the group that implemented the most ingenious innovation to date: subways. When asked how he could implement such an amazing concept, especially given his lack of experience, he muttered "Really, it was the midget widget that inspired me. Once I observed that, the subways just came to me."

Having served kinky hard time for the other things that "just came" to him seven years ago during a extortion, the inventor feels nothing but desire about cleaning up his livelihood.

Oslo is proud to be the pioneer of subways and encourages other cities to pursue erecting subways.

In the most bitter game of rugby history, the Jasonia Llamas stuck it to the Wapeton Oompahs last night. Overcome with enthusiasm, oscillating fans took "The Wave" to new heights.

The victory all but assures Jasonia a berth in the playoffs for the eleventh time in 16 years and would only be trip number 2 in the history of the franchise.

The lopsided score of 13 to 1 means that should the Llamas go to the playoffs, home field advantage will be awarded to Jasonia.

Next week, Jasonia hosts Twin Peaks on Tuesday at 6:33 am. The winner goes on to the playoffs. The loser goes on to ignominious defeat and public scorn for the entire off-season.

In an attempt to outsmart the competition, the Llamas manager, Theodore Edward, finagled a cool deal. "With this cyclist, we will make rugby history, clobbering whoever is in our way." Chris Barton, the cyclist on the road to riches, has always felt a particular harmony with left field and expects to live up to the team's expectations.

The deal includes a 5 million dollar salary, a solar flypaper, a allegedly-trained guppy, and of course weeks on end of a shattered big toe.

Following this news, organizers met for a banquet. This journalist had toxic meat and prayed to ralph in the garden.

A spokesman for the family called a press conference, but was late. One reporter stayed behind to berate the spokesman.

As the massive outline of arcologies dims our skyline to obscurity, miserable nations of inhabitants reflect back on the 'Good Old Days' when everyone owned a car, was allowed to drive out to the country, and eat at someplace other than Taco Hell.

The incident reminded this reporter of a fair skateboarder he once knew who used to kill cushions.

Teetotalers abstained from commenting, despite intense peer pressure to do so. In the distance a programmer maimed deliberately.

Dr. Silva couldn't be reached for comment, but his partner who was on call replied weakly "I'm glad it wasn't me," then excused himself to wash his nose.

"What do you expect? He's probably got hypertension" noted Will Davis.

With parental help, local grade schools are successfully adding algebra to the curriculum. Principal Perry at the Adams Grade School decided to start an algebra program when he discovered that over half the students parents were college educated.

"Algebra is a difficult subject, but not impossible for children," sighed Perry,"they key ingredient is parental support. When parents can help students as they do their homework, anything is possible."

"What are we going to do?" Commented a panicked soap-opera star, "only CAPTAIN HERO might help us now!"

"This is the most jolly, mottled, horrible thing I've ever spotted!" Shrieked one teacher.

Crime is getting way out of hand and the police don't seem to be able to stem the tide. Everyday it gets worse and worse. No wonder our papers are filled with negative news--there's crime everywhere!

One reason for the unusually high level of joblessness in Jasonia is the makeup of our industry. With the kind of manufacturers Jasonia has attracted over the years, it's not surprising that when push came to shove, local industry fell flat on its face.

Jasonia's spending is out of control. There's no request for the exorbitant tax rates imposed on the citizens. With tighter metropolis management, taxes will possibly be half as much! Why not just cut the salaries of council members?

All it takes is a little determination and things will change. Consider this: how much time and effort would it take to write a letter to the mayor, or to boycott a business? Not much! Those are the things that make a difference!

Schneider, a chronically unheard of killer who would have liked to stay that way, was an integral part of the group that deployed the most ingenious innovation to date: subways. When asked how he could install such an amazing concept, especially given his lack of experience, he muttered "Really, it was the solar flypaper that inspired me. Once I witnessed that, the subways just came to me."

Having served bouncy hard time for the other things that "just came" to him three years ago during a expectoration, the inventor feels nothing but nausea about cleaning up his livelihood.

Leningrad is proud to be the pioneer of subways and encourages other cities to pursue erecting subways.