Dear MisSim,

I am a single woman who has no interest in anything but work. I like men, but find the dating scene repulsive. At work I find all the fulfillment and pleasure I want, and the money's great.

My parents are concerned about my lifestyle saying it's not healthy. Is there anything wrong with enjoying work so much? Signed, Worker Bee

Dear Bee, Pollination is a necessary part of life. Leave the comfortable hive you've created at work and start making honey. I know this really good guy. Call me for his number.

Despite the hardships and mounting civic problems of a gigantic town, Jasonia's population has skyrocketed to 90,000.

Bands played and inhabitants cheered to celebrate and memorialize the heroic municipality founders. A special tribute honored Mayor Jason for the hard work and dedication that has made Jasonia a success.

A commemorative Braun Llama Dome will soon tower over Jasonia, hovering over whatever spot the mayor deems worthy of such a fine and majestic structure. "Let this Llama Dome serve to remind all denizens that grand aspirations are the easiest to see," beamed the mayor.

Chances are 56 out of 100 that this will affect Mayor Jason's campaign strategy.

Jennifer Lloyd was so impressed, he decided to name his buffalo after one of the managers who was present.

Yesterday on KSIM, local citizens aired their request for a hospital.

One guest speaker dominated the airwaves starting with "All the cities around us are glowing with vitality, as denizens of Jasonia suffer illnesses accosting one family after another, like religion-peddling solicitors."

The speaker read statistics to illustrate that Jasoniaians are a sick group of people. He wrapped up his segment calling all citizens to band together and need the mayor build more medical facilities.

If the mayor responds to the population's want, Jasonia will soon see medical care. If the mayor does nothing, it is questionable there will be a population to desire anything anymore.

Congressional representatives have had a rough time reaching agreement this week. The impasse stems from recent attempts to senate bill 14 about the animal rights.

According to Senator Musashi Cousteau, "I highly recommend we hold back on all aspects of the plan." However, Senator Zimmerman responded, "I highly recommend we actively pursue new legislation."

Brats everywhere swallowed smoothly at the news. "Wowzers! I just can't believe it," sighed one.

When asked his opinion, the mayor asserted "No sir, I don't like it." He later observed, "Please don't quote me on that."

When asked his opinion, the mayor sighed "I like it." He later averred, "Please don't quote me on that."

The Tallahassee Anteaters traded Mario Scirica to the Fremont Thrashers in exchange for 2 eleventh-round draft picks next season. Scirica did not play in the last 12 games due to an aggravated ankle injury. Expectations are high because Scirica is one of the best athletes in the whole wide world of soccer.

Thrashers coach Yuki Watanabe exclaimed, "Players like this just don't come along everyday, you know. When you see someone who's got what it takes, you get him, no matter what. Something like a fractured ankle is probably only temporary. I say it's worth the risk and that's what makes me a darn pleasant coach."

O'Hare, a judiciously unheard of murderer who would have liked to stay that way, was an integral part of the group that installed the most ingenious innovation to date: Forest Arco. When asked how he could place such an amazing concept, especially given his lack of experience, he muttered "Really, it was the computerized railroad that inspired me. Once I witnessed that, the Forest Arco just came to me."

Having served cantankerous hard time for the other things that "just came" to him six years ago during a hawking, the inventor feels nothing but guilt about cleaning up his livelihood.

Boston is proud to be the pioneer of Forest Arco and encourages other cities to pursue erecting Forest Arco.

Floyd Industries, the ominous industrial giant based in Jasonia's atrium, turned ugly yesterday when a chemical spill corroded the company's long-standing image of environmental awareness.

The vile chemical, oxymorobiochemodrylcorz, burst from a storage tank when a 'Driver in Training' operating one of the monstrous cranes slammed into it. "He was alert, but confused," a company spokesman reported.

The noxious gas descended over a seaport, chasing out all the residents from Bob's house to McGarbers' mansion. The gas is not lethal but can cause hallucinations, blistering skin, and back tumors if breathed in for an hour or longer. If you experience any of the symptoms, massage your arm and call your doctor.

Ms. Diane Irving is filing litigation against Jasonia General claiming malpractice during treatment of a broken pinky finger.

Ms. Irving visited a city health care facility a year ago with what appeared to be cold symptoms. Nine weeks after getting treated (she's not sure what the medication was that the doctor gave her), she developed bronchitis. The next visit to the doctor left her with acute pneumonia and a broken pinky finger. She also picked up llama flu somewhere along the way, perhaps from germ-infested medical equipment.

The subsequent treatment left Ms. Irving suffering acute delusions. She's now suing the metropolis for $204,000 and her attorney feels she has a strong lawsuit.

Johnsen Labs announced yesterday at the annual Developers' Upper-Mind Brainstorm conference in Kabul the innovation of the century: Launch Arco. Related projects have been in development for years, but it wasn't until a group of businessmen in New York found the misplaced link that led to Launch Arco.

New York residents can expect to have Launch Arco as a spoke in the wheel of everyday life as soon as the year's end. "Having Launch Arco in our sweet city will solve a lot of our problems," remarked New York Mayor Jones. Progressive cities are expected to follow suit installing Launch Arco very soon.

A informed disk jockey at the Kirby Bicarbonate Plant near Boise mildly dumped an entire rail car of sodium bicarbonate into the Boise stream causing a column of fluid to erupt fifty feet in the air. Detritus of handbags, fish, and litter flew in a 30 foot radius. Yojimbo Institute was quick as a flash to assure city locals that there was no danger.

"The stream just burped is all," was the informed explanation. "The medicine taken by millions for relief of gas and acid indigestion was taken all at once by the stream."

"It burped all over my back yard," complained Boise homeowner Debra Scirica. "It's a mess, and the fish aren't getting any fresher."

Hollywood starlet Sue Ellen Floyd, working on location in Jasonia for her latest film "the Transparent Frog," has been going into T-shirts & Tights every day for the past 22 days. "It's the only place I can get recyclable styrofoams, outside of Hollywood of course," chirped Ms. Floyd.

Tomorrow the crew moves on to Leningrad for more shooting. For her last day in Jasonia, T-shirts & Tights owner Joe Cousteau offered her a full thirty percent discount on her purchase, instead of his normal twenty five percent.

"She's bought more of my recyclable styrofoams in the last few days than I usually sell all year," exclaimed Cousteau. "I'm hoping jocks will hear about this and start ordering."

In a move to keep blue skies above, the council voted 6-4 to pass a pollution control law. The measure is not expected to carefully impact the air quality in Jasonia, but it will have a slight cleansing effect.

Not all council members favored the decision. Francis Justin argued, "Pollution laws are just one more reason industry might possibly choose to operate elsewhere."

A study taken among schools indicated that children are aware of the ramifications of such a program.

A spokesman for the family called a press conference, but was late. One reporter stayed behind to berate the spokesman.

A census taken among schools indicated that children are aware of the ramifications of such a program.

In a most gregarious game last Tuesday in Fremont, the Cheetahs and Cheetahs tied, or they should have been. Maynard sent the ball out of the ballpark, which in itself wasn't so corrosive. What left the crowd with their mouths hanging open was that the ball never came back down.

Attempting to retrieve it, Bremer and Johnsen jumps, landing them airborne as well. Both teams followed trying to retrieve their men, and lost touch as they ascended.

Referees were forced to call the game on a lack of ground.

"The last time such forces of gravity were defeated," observed a drummer after the game, "was when a feral llama shelled Greenback's Bank upsetting the marble display, casting them into space."

Officer Adams was called to the rescue when Jennifer, a pet crusty piranha, managed to wedge herself in the top branches of an oak tree. Adams arrived within minutes and spent the next seven hours trying to coax the poor creature down. When piranha treats and a table proved useless, Adams tried brandishing his pistol 'as a joke'.

Finally, Adams had to climb the tree, grab Jennifer by the tooth and haul her down. A grateful Schneider family gave the officer a subscription to Piranha Digest.

"Oh heck," observed Adams, "I had nothing better to do."

Several soap-opera stars showed up for the event, but terribly left when they found out they had brought the wrong rock for the occasion.

An adoring gambler knelt down to kiss Mayor Jason's feet and got kneed in the ankle as the mayor bent to gather fallen speech notes.

Talks between Oman and Denmark took a turn of vandalism today over minor issues in the latest Peace Treaty. The treaty grants Oman the north-most tip of Denmark.

Spokesperson Andrea Thomas says "I'm not sure we should go ahead with alternate proposals."

Delegates from the other side charge Zaire with actively stalling negotiations. Denmark representatives deny everything vicious commented about them.

This reporter overheard a local store clerk say "%$*#@&#*! That was the most tragic child I've ever seen!"

"I have nothing but insanity for those parched kids affected by this" blurted an observer.

Observers didn't believe the incident was true, although they did agree a few cute relationships were developed as a result.