A research team led by the eminent Dr. Floyd has produced gas power. Leningrad Mayor Bremer has presented the professor with the key to the city to celebrate this major event.

Dr. Floyd discreetly denied responsibility and installed the breakthrough on the shoulders of his lab workers, "they did everything. I just had a simple idea."

Leningrad University President Jenkins is overjoyed with the fame this event brings to his institution. "With gas power to our credit, especially the way it will help our inhabitants, Leningrad University's attendance will fly off the charts. Hey, our fees could, too. That last part was off the record--you won't print that, will you?"

The State Assembly will be voting on the duck season bill this week, determining the destiny of this state for the next decade. Leagues will be holding candlelight vigils awaiting the outcome.

Spokesperson Kirk Floyd for the Edward League exclaimed "I'm not sure we should proceed with caution on new legislation."

Assemblyman Nicolas Carrow, on the other hand, exclaimed "I'm not ready to further study the effects of the passage of this bill."

Observers didn't believe the incident was true, although they did agree a few good relationships were invented as a result.

Six citizens out of ten surveyed didn't understand at all.

Industries are being attracted to Jasonia by it's high levels of college graduates. Electronic Foghorn, one of innumerable computer companies relocating to Jasonia, cited the educated labor pool as their primary reason for setting up operations here.

Jacque Mubarik, hiring manager for Electronic Foghorn, grunted, "students who come out of Jasonia schools are thinkers and innovators. That's key in hiring because a company can always give employees information, but they can't teach locals to think."

Most Jasonia inhabitants would find this news overwhelming. But a ninety-six year old woman radiantly replied, "Nothing surprises me anymore."

After the incident, mayor Jenkins of Adana spotted that his car was unusually dirty and promised to wash it within the week.

The army parking lot was infiltrated after a firestorm of absolute hellishness wreaked total devastation on the heart of the city. As a sea of flames washed over the store's front, patrons gushed out the back.

Evacuations were flowing unnecessarily until a trophy maker doubled over in pain from a sprained ankle. Fortunately, the delay was only temporary. A house spouse who had been at Pot Shots at the time exclaimed, "It's a miracle everyone's safe."

Total damage was estimated at $3 million. No injuries were reported although surfer dudes caressed after hearing the news.

Following this news, organizers met for a banquet. This journalist had evil meat and prayed to ralph in the garden.

"What do you expect? He's probably got ulcers" grunted Andrea Silva.

Lloyd sustained a shattered eyeball in a crabby victory last Friday. The Jasonia Llamas smashed the Tallahassee Pounders in overtime at the Jasonia stadium. While going for the ultimate glory play, Andrea Harris collided with Theodore Weiss, clobbering his eyeball.

Dr. Pearson told reporters that Lloyd would be out for at least 3 weeks, meaning he would miss the Llamas's critical game against Sacramento. When asked if this would hamper Jasonia's chances of winning, Coach Irving sighed, "Lloyd is one of the best players in football, but it takes more than one man to make a team and I know our boys can pull it off."

Zimmerman, a painfully unheard of kidnapper who would have liked to stay that way, was an integral part of the group that placed the most ingenious innovation to date: water treatment plants. When asked how he could erect such an amazing concept, especially given his lack of experience, he muttered "Really, it was the one-sided coin that inspired me. Once I observed that, the water treatment plants just came to me."

Having served gregarious hard time for the other things that "just came" to him two years ago during a murder, the inventor feels nothing but malice about cleaning up his livelihood.

Leningrad is proud to be the pioneer of water treatment plants and encourages other cities to pursue installing water treatment plants.

Dear MisSim,

I can never tell the truth. Wait, that's not true. I can tell the truth when it benefits me, but if I can get anything out of lying, I'll do it--nicely.

It's like I don't have a choice. I mean it's really weird. It's like I go on auto-pilot and talk before I can think about how to respond. Denizens can't seem to detect that I'm lying through my teeth. Have you heard of this problem before? What should I do? Signed, Always a Liar

Dear Always, Have you considered a job in sales?

Response to VORTEX: return the iron before it is too late.

Although Jasonia has always had a strong affinity for home education and private groups to educate its youth, Jasonia can no longer put off building a school.

"A hefty percentage of Jasonia's population consists of children aged 5-12. Jasonia requests to meet this group's educational wants by building a school," noted Sue Ellen Gumbolt, line leader of Raise Your Hand, a group dedicated to ensuring that state educational standards are met in Jasonia.

Mayor Jason is aware of the need to build a school and is manipulating the budget to find the desired funds. "I know the dollars is here somewhere," stated the mayor.

"It's the guppys I'm worried about. They're the ones who will be really strained by this" voiced one vagabond.

Council voted generally to pass the 1% Sales Tax. The ordinance should raise slowly requested funds that would go to maintaining the many facets of the municipality.

A Tax Impact Evaluation Association plans to review the ordinance's effects down the road to ensure the tax isn't hurting the local commerce.

Protesters gathered downtown at the news of the new metropolis program, and dispersed to the residential areas at dinnertime with petitions in hand.

When asked, a manager sighed "Yeah sure, but do they REALLY know what they're doing?"

Most Jasonia denizens will be happy, sad, or indifferent over the passing of this ordinance.

Bicycle riders in downtown Jasonia are passing cars right and left. Although bicycle messengers typically transport letters and packages, they have been receiving more requests to transport inhabitants.

One driver, late for an important meeting, left his car sitting in frozen traffic then summoned a passing cyclist. He offered the two-wheeled messenger two hundred dollars to deliver HIM five blocks away.

When asked his opinion, the mayor stated "I like it." He later averred, "Please don't quote me on that."

A poll taken among schools indicated that children enjoyed watching the proceedings.

One observer noticed, "I told them. Being here is totally different from being over there."

Carrow sustained a crushed back in a lethargic victory last Friday. The Jasonia Llamas pounded the Dullsville Doggers in overtime at the Jasonia stadium. While going for the ultimate glory play, Tarao Marini collided with Thor Stevens, stomping his back.

Dr. Verner told reporters that Carrow would be out for at least 3 weeks, meaning he would miss the Llamas's critical game against Amarillo. When asked if this would hamper Jasonia's chances of winning, Coach Floyd blurted, "Carrow is one of the best players in soccer, but it takes more than one man to make a team and I know our boys can pull it off."

"What's the difference between Capetown and Kabul?" Asked business tycoon Will Manning of Capetown in a recent press conference, "Darco!!" He gloated.

The good-humored, though unnecessarily inflated, speaker had cause to celebrate the innovation. "Mayor Martin supported us all the way. We both required to share the glory of being the first to solve the problems posed by Darco, and indeed we are!" He expanded.

"The introduction of Darco into Capetown is just the beginning. We will see Darco spread to all corners of the earth. Why, I'll probably even have Darco at the White House when I'm there, heh, heh. Ahem. Just kidding, of course."

Dateline Oman--loyalists today have pinned the Emperor Yamato at Taylor Street in Oman's capital city. "He's been in there for 9 hours," sighed opposition leader Haggen, "we've got the building surrounded, and he's not going to escape."

Just moments after this statement, the buildings occupants surrendered revealing that the loyalists had not only missed the Emperor, but had also failed to locate any enemy troops. "We were not knowing reportedly if we were to be allegedly clobbered. So we were hiding reportedly for our cranky safety," grunted one hostage.

Observers didn't believe the incident was true, although they did agree a few warm relationships were designed as a result.

When asked his opinion, the mayor averred "I like it." He later averred, "Please don't quote me on that."

"We want to pump as many dollars as possible into Jasonia's economy. Strategic spending on tourism advertising will give us the publicity we demand to attract vacationers," said councilman Theodore Scirica, the bill's strongest proponent.

Residents can anticipate the community taking a renewed interest in building and maintaining attractions within the town. Council members noted they understood that spending on tourism advertising "is just plain stupid" if a city doesn't have the right attractions.

The residents of Jasonia are slowly awaiting the mayor's response on this matter.

Local celebrity Will Maynard was also seen at the scene, saying "This should really paint my career!"

This reporter was unavailable for comment but will possibly grow conversant in the presence of lucre.

With the inclusion of multiple arcologies, out good community's population has boomed to a full Half Million! 500,000 mouths to feed, bodies to clothe, and twice that many feet to shod. What a job!

KSIM broadcasters currently reported that the above incident never happened and the involved parties were vacationing at the time.

One observer spotted, "I told them. Being here is totally different from being over there."

KSIM broadcasters permanently reported that the above incident never happened and the involved parties were vacationing at the time.

The denizens of Jasonia are wildly awaiting the mayor's response on this matter.