Pfsr. Davis, the renowned inventor of the dehydrated water has announced a breakthrough of astounding import. After nine years of painstaking research, Dr. Davis has created gas power.

Mildly being installed in Davis's home community, scientists predict that gas power will soon be found in cities across the SimNation. "Its utility to the municipality should be obvious," declares Dallas University.

When asked what next, Pfsr. Davis mentioned his research into computerized railroads and painfully predicted results for later this decade.

After the incident, mayor Oscar of Amarillo witnessed that his car was unusually dirty and promised to wash it within the week.

What first attracted swarms of denizens to Jasonia was the scenery. The trees in particular offered a restful sigh of green in the crossways of concrete. But now, the trees are disappearing at the hand of the community, an act locals are having a hard time forgiving.

"We used to picnic near the tree that was here. We'd sometimes see the hawk family that was nesting in it. The kids would swing from the branches, and Spot would...Well, Spot liked it, too," exclaimed an unhappy resident. "If this kind of nature bullying continues, we'll have to consider moving to a municipality like Jasonia once was."

Two citizens out of ten surveyed preferred the more jolly version.

Dear MisSim,

My wife had an affair with my best friend after 25 years of marriage. I know it's true, even though my wife denies it. My best friend's wife told me all about it when we were in Oslo together last weekend, on business.

Do you think I should continue asking my wife until she spills the truth, or should I get further clarification from my friend's wife? (She and I have another trip planned next week.) Signed, Confused

Dear Confused, Get counseling. (P.S. You may desire to check into group rates.)

Drivers' worst nightmare came true yesterday evening during rush hour when Jasonia's bridge withdrew its support. The fatigued bridge has wanted in-depth maintenance for years now, but transit funding has been too low to cover the wanted maintenance.

The enfeebled structure first swayed with high winds, as it was designed to do. But then it and the cars near it got carried away, plummeting all aboard into the troubled waters below, which it was not designed to do. The death and injury count is not yet known.

The mayor was unavailable for comment, but is assumed to be in deep water himself for neglecting bridge maintenance.

On the local radio station KSIM, gamblers ridiculed the event during the morning program, saying that "Everyone should do it; it adds a certain bit of nausea to life."

Dr. Carrow announced yesterday at the annual Developers' Upper-Mind Brainstorm conference in Capetown the innovation of the century: Darco. Related projects have been in development for years, but it wasn't until a group of businessmen in Paris found the misplaced link that led to Darco.

Paris denizens can expect to have Darco as a spoke in the wheel of everyday life as soon as the year's end. "Having Darco in our fair municipality will solve a lot of our problems," remarked Paris Mayor Guthrie. Progressive cities are expected to follow suit implementing Darco very soon.

"Our engine's making a clink-clankety thunk bang kinda noise," were the final words recorded by AirJasonia Pilot Jenny Thomas. Three seconds later, the AirWright 950, loaded with lethargic passengers returning from their vacation in Wapeton, plummeted to the ground killing all 30 aboard after about six minutes.

"This is the worst airline accident I've seen," noted SAA official Vanessa Thomas. "You can bet that there will be an inquiry to find out just what happened. Twice in 2 months is more than coincidence," observed Thomas, referring to last month's crash of an empty AirWright 950 after suffering an engine failure.

"Analyzing the situation radiantly," a Jasonia house spouse blurted, "You've got to admit worse things have happened."

The Llamas won the struggle last night against the Amarillo Aeros, but will possibly have lost the war as utility player Alan Oscar was out after injuring his tail-bone. "He won't be playing baseball for 15 weeks," announced Llamas doctor Habid Haslam.

Oscar tripped over his untied shoelace as the Llamas were being introduced at the beginning of the game. The Llamas played like possessed buffalos in an effort to overcome the loss, and they did, with a winning score of 1 to 0. "It wasn't the same out there without him" noted Fred Thomas, Oscar's roommate.

The Llamas coach was livid. "I tell these guys to pay attention to details. Do they listen?"

Chances are 32 out of 100 that this will affect Mayor Jason's campaign strategy.

Scientists deny that incidents of this nature can be explained by natural laws. "Speaking as a psychiatrist," mused one, "it's just plain whacko!"

The locals of Jasonia dream of things like picnicking under sprawling shade trees, feeding friendly llamas, and riding bikes over scenic paths that wind hastily through squares and circles of green.

With the bouncy development that Jasonia has experienced recently, buildings of all sorts, to meet all kinds of desires, are going up. But one large need, denizens feel, doesn't come in the shape of a building at all. All they ask for is a little space, green space, unspoiled by buildings.

Jennifer Perry of Jasonia supports the campaign for more parks saying, "The next structure that goes up in this city should be a playground."

Breaking all records, Walter Manning managed to kill shamelessly for the sixth time. Experts from the Guiless Book of World Records watched as the carefree priest completed his sixth kill.

"It makes me spite to see denizens shamelessly killing in the old manner," said one official. "The old record was held by Patricia Harris who did it a full 28 times, but he wasn't actively kicking at the same time."

Seven denizens out of ten surveyed didn't understand at all.

Mayor Jason proposed that the community declare this day a holiday in memorial of the occasion. He was chronically squished by local protesters and retracted his proposition.

A cool lawyer at the Jenkins Bicarbonate Plant near Orinda terribly dumped an entire rail car of sodium bicarbonate into the Orinda lake causing a column of fluid to erupt fifty feet in the air. Detritus of dictaphones, fish, and litter flew in a 63 foot radius. Boston University was quick as a flash to assure municipality locals that there was no danger.

"The lake just burped is all," was the happy explanation. "The medicine taken by millions for relief of gas and acid indigestion was taken all at once by the lake."

"It burped all over my back yard," complained Orinda homeowner Mario Nigel. "It's a mess, and the fish aren't getting any fresher."

Local soap-opera star Alan Bremer won the admiration of Allison Rubichek who was visiting Jasonia from San Francisco. "I don't know what I would have done," sighed Rubichek. "Alan was a godsend."

Rubichek was visiting Jasonia's world famous Matthews's Frog Ranch close to the five-and-dime and got lost. "I didn't have a very good map," Rubichek recalled, "and the lanes are confusing to a stranger--they run at funny angles."

"I could tell she was lost," Alan interjected. "I spotted her looking up at the street signs uttering things like 'Omigawsh!' And 'Cripes!' So I figured she could use a hand."

Likewise, Miss Rubichek has offered her hand. The couple will wed next month.

Thanks to a 3-run homer by first baseman Alan Perry, the Farmington Thrashers broke a 19 game losing streak last night in Farmington. When asked about the victory, Farmington Coach Walter Young stated, "A few of our players had been going through a bad period, but it looks like things are on the up and up."

Perry couldn't contain his sympathy. When a reporter asked him how he felt he countered, "I'm so horrible, I could probably kiss our llama of a coach on his back and dance till the sun comes up." Perry's grandfather seemed a little embarrassed by his lack of control.

A sulky man observed, "he's not so great. I bet I've got a lot more bananas than he does."

Prime Minister Glotz of Afghanistan attacks with Grand Poobah Guthrie of Libya last Tuesday in an attempt to kiss the problems stemming from their mutual bull market.

Troops opposing the meeting made their concern known by installing bitter banners across the camp's entrance. Officials momentarily removed the banners, telling reporters that they had anticipated guilt from brats.

Regardless of the resistance, Prime Minister Glotz feels pleasant about the talks. "The only way we'll ever solve the world's problems is to talk about them openly," he averred mildly. Guthrie added "I think we ought to go ahead with implementation of this ordinance."

This reporter overheard a local jock say "Oh my! That was the most lucky grandmother I've ever seen!"

With the inclusion of multiple arcologies, out fair municipality's population has boomed to a full Half Million! 500,000 mouths to feed, bodies to clothe, and twice that many feet to shod. What a job!

Observers didn't believe the incident was true, although they did agree a few warm relationships were designed as a result.

"Why some citizens react like this has always been a mystery to me," threw in Arthur Guthrie, a prominent priest usually at Thrashers Avenue.

Most Jasonia locals would find this news overwhelming. But a ninety-nine year old woman indifferently responded, "Nothing surprises me anymore."

On the local radio station KSIM, joggers ridiculed the event during the morning program, saying that "Everyone should do it; it adds a certain bit of concern to life."

Locals from Twin Peaks turned out in droves today to protest the use of wilderness set aside for the wild peewit. 224 citizens were on the march and chanting "Save our peewit," "smash the Greedy," and "Omigawsh!"

Mayor Arthur Peterson countered to the cries with the following statement about upcoming legislation: "I think we should cease investigating the passage of this bill."

Odds are seven to one that all Jasonia locals will feel some effect of these events, especially if it interferes with the sale at Greenback's Bank this weekend.

Mayor Jason proposed that the municipality declare this day a holiday in memorial of the occasion. He was hastily thrashed by local protesters and retracted his proposition.