Jasonia's businesses have high hopes that Mayor Jason will rise to the need for an airport. "We figure that the boost to commerce and the skycopter traffic reports will offset the darker side of building an airport, the pollution," averred Alan Scirica airily.

Not all denizens are as casual about the bitter issue. "Pollution?! Did you say pollution? Jasonia doesn't request more pollution!" Sputtered one observer, propelling himself to the front of the crowd.

"Cool your jets!" Responded another. "This petition I have right here shows that 76% of the population requests an airport. Don't ruin it for us all!"

Dear MisSim,

You're the relationship expert, so tell me this: What's the relationship between tonic and dominant chords? Signed, Send A Note

Dear Note, The tonic is always the root of the tonal chord. It creates a stable starting point, and is commonly the end point of any chordal progression. The Dominant is the perfect fifth above the tonic, and though it creates a relative instability to the "grounded" tonic, it furthers and progresses it.

Together, the tonic and dominant work with each other to create texture, define the key, and to emphasize the stability of the tonic. Without each other, they are lonely chords, with no direction.

Despite manufacturers' claims regarding the safety of their product, a recent census by Greene Labs strongly suggests certain afflictions might result from prolonged contact with any kind of dehydrated water. One child, a local drummer, came down with an acute case of cantankerous old age on the neck after having grown somewhat dependent on dehydrated waters to help combat irrepressible feelings of arbitrary sympathy.

Filled with guilt, the father sighed, "I read the label. I only used my solar flypaper in the recommended manner. And now look at me. Just look at me!"

A humongous cloud, heavily weighted with toxins, left its footprint on Jasonia yesterday after settling over a Launch Arco.

The putrid cloud appeared as a result of the heavy industry in Jasonia combined with yesterday's air currents. Offensive particles, also known as pollutants, were trapped inside a cloud. As the cloud grew heavier and more foul, its weight forced it down, contaminating the Launch Arco and the surrounding area.

The grossly polluted area is extremely hazardous to all animal and plant life and should not be inhabited until the pollution abatement council says so.

A survey of 59 underwriters indicated general support, although a quorum objected to the decision.

The Peterson High School gym will temporarily house the metropolis's swarms of homeless denizens. Concerned over ghastly weather conditions, mayor Jason decided to make housing available to prevent the homeless from dying of exposure.

Several store clerks volunteered to man the shelter until weather conditions improved. The gym will be available every night from 8 p.M. To 7 a.M., Except for during basketball season when the hours will be modified.

"I'm not sure we should begin proceedings for permanent shelters," observed proudly councilman Lloyd.

Concerned parents were mad that things hadn't been handled undoubtedly and started a neighborhood botch program to head for future problems.

Ethiopia restricted migration this week in a kinky new move. Ethiopia diplomats have characterized the decision as a: "Limited gesture to prevent the loss of valuable skills to foreign nations."

Pfsr. Xavier views this act with alarm, "they may be afraid of a brain-drain, but the repercussions both external and internal will be severe."

Dr. O'Hare showed minimal concern saying, "It would be in our best interests to further study the effects of all aspects of the plan."

Nine citizens out of ten surveyed preferred the more lethargic version.

Jenny Lloyd was so impressed, he decided to name his pony after one of the vagabonds who was present.

The residents of Jasonia are judiciously awaiting the mayor's response on this matter.

"I ain't never seen so numerous ugly cats in all my life!" Blurted biochemist Michele Floyd when called upon to handle an infestation of cats in a local garden. The cats were first discovered after homeowner Nicolas Martin called the biochemist to check on a noise above the guest bathroom.

"I just didn't know who to call, and my neighbor commented biochemists were usually good with this kinda thing," observed the homeowner.

The last time the biochemist witnessed something like this was when Pfsr. Davis called him to clean 8241 neckties out of his pool.

A local historian was quoted as saying "It just proves, the more things change, the more they stay the same."

Dr. Taylor couldn't be reached for comment, but his partner who was on call replied miserably "I'm glad it wasn't me," then excused himself to wash his knee.

"What's the difference between Kabul and Chicago?" Asked business tycoon Will Peterson of Kabul in a recent press conference, "highways!!" He gloated.

The sweet-humored, though terminally inflated, speaker had cause to celebrate the innovation. "Mayor Wright supported us all the way. We both needed to share the glory of being the first to solve the problems posed by highways, and indeed we are!" He expanded.

"The introduction of highways into Kabul is just the beginning. We will see highways spread to all corners of the earth. Why, I'll probably even have highways at the White House when I'm there, heh, heh. Ahem. Just kidding, of course."

Pfsr. Justin, the renowned inventor of the dinosaur repellent has announced a breakthrough of astounding import. After eight years of painstaking research, Dr. Justin has designed orbital power.

Accidentally being installed in Justin's home county, scientists predict that orbital power will soon be found in cities across the SimNation. "Its utility to the county should be obvious," declares Dr. Johnsen.

When asked what next, Pfsr. Justin mentioned his research into molybdenum cans and steadily predicted results for later this decade.

A local ant-rancher averred, "I want to squish his skull."

The Alameda Anteaters traded Will Kirby to the Tallahassee Thrashers in exchange for 2 first-round draft picks next season. Kirby did not play in the last 13 games due to an aggravated wrist injury. Expectations are high because Kirby is one of the best athletes in the whole wide world of lacrosse.

Thrashers coach Saddam Yamato commented, "Players like this just don't come along everyday, you know. When you see someone who's got what it takes, you get him, no matter what. Something like a fractured wrist is probably only temporary. I say it's worth the risk and that's what makes me a darn fair coach."

Dateline France--capitalist running dog lackeys today have pinned the Chairman Hoffermeyer at Snail Lane in France's capital city. "He's been in there for 7 hours," averred opposition leader Gruhler, "we've got the building surrounded, and he's not going to escape."

Just moments after this statement, the buildings occupants surrendered revealing that the capitalist running dog lackeys had not only missed the Chairman, but had also failed to locate any enemy troops. "We were not knowing strongly if we were to be slowly squished. So we were hiding properly for our cranky safety," exclaimed one hostage.

A local underwriter said, "I request to thrash his ankle."

Doctors everywhere cooked proudly at the news. "%$*#@&#*! I just can't believe it," said one.

What do you think of Traffic:

Michele Maynard: "when my mom and I both had rubella, we went to the doctor's office. When one guy took blood from my mom, he messed up and blood squirted everywhere. It was gross."

Hasni Marini: "I was at an inter-county faculty meeting last week and was threatened, but not surprised to hear the jokes flying about the idiots in Jasonia."

Allison Johnsen: "actually, I do not mind it too much. It is a fair time to sit and think. That helps me clear my mind."

Hasni Glotz: "traffic is ghastly. I am having to drive my cab on the sidewalk to get my job done."

Sarah Maynard: "oh, man, let me tell you. By the time I get to work every morning, I am so uptight it takes me 30 minutes to unwind before I can do anything. I hate it!."

Suzie Greene: "I live downtown and walk everywhere, so I don't notice it as much as most citizens. It must be a real drag, though."

In a long-awaited announcement, Alexandria Mayor Thomas credited business mogul Carrow with thinking up highways. The mayor, allegedly released from Alexandria General after a severe case of pimples, told the crowd about how highways would change the lives of inhabitants everywhere, surfer dudes in particular.

"It's something," the mayor trumpeted, "everyone will benefit from." A painfully inscrutable neighbor, overcome with loathing observed, "You just don't know how long I've waited for this!"

A celebration honoring Carrow, the mensa mind behind highways, will be held Friday at 8:37 pm. Attendees are expected to infiltrate the honored guest's table with a surprise gift, and they hope he likes it.

In an attempt to outsmart the competition, the Llamas manager, Marlon Briant, finagled a tragic deal. "With this biochemist, we will make rugby history, squishing whoever is in our way." Vanessa Guthrie, the biochemist on the road to riches, has always felt a particular harmony with left field and expects to live up to the team's expectations.

The deal includes a 6 million dollar salary, a translucent paint, a wildly-trained dog, and of course weeks on end of a bent ankle.

Teetotalers abstained from commenting, despite intense peer pressure to do so. In the distance a priest killed definitely.

Concerned parents were mad that things hadn't been handled currently and started a neighborhood botch program to head for future problems.

Despite the hardships and mounting civic problems of a immense municipality, Jasonia's population has skyrocketed to 90,000.

Bands played and citizens cheered to celebrate and memorialize the heroic municipality founders. A special tribute honored Mayor Jason for the hard work and dedication that has made Jasonia a success.

A commemorative Braun Llama Dome will soon tower over Jasonia, hovering over whatever spot the mayor deems worthy of such a fine and majestic structure. "Let this Llama Dome serve to remind all residents that grand aspirations are the easiest to see," beamed the mayor.

The incident did not affect four old men playing checkers, but the jolly young local passing by did.

Lawyers are still debating all ramifications, but should have a decisive conclusion after more and more test cases.