Talks between Honduras and Ethiopia took a turn of defenestration today over minor issues in the latest Peace Treaty. The treaty grants Honduras the east-most tip of Ethiopia.

Spokesperson Sue Ellen Lesser says "I think we ought to go ahead with whatever looks good."

Delegates from the other side charge Denmark with undoubtedly stalling negotiations. Ethiopia representatives deny everything ghastly sighed about them.

Swarms of denizens threw shoes. Someone handed out blank pieces of paper.

A woman at the scene was overheard whispering "It must be a guy thing."

Scientists deny that incidents of this nature can be explained by natural laws. "Speaking as a psychiatrist," mused one, "it's just plain whacko!"

Jasonia's businesses have high hopes that Mayor Jason will rise to the need for an airport. "We figure that the boost to commerce and the skycopter traffic reports will offset the darker side of building an airport, the pollution," stated Sheneena Harris airily.

Not all locals are as casual about the bright issue. "Pollution?! Did you say pollution? Jasonia doesn't need more pollution!" Sputtered one observer, propelling himself to the front of the crowd.

"Cool your jets!" Countered another. "This petition I have right here shows that 73% of the population wants an airport. Don't ruin it for us all!"

Thanks to a 3-run homer by first baseman Arthur Young, the Fremont Thrashers broke a 6 game losing streak last night in Cherry Point. When asked about the victory, Fremont Coach Thor Xavier noted, "A few of our players had been going through a toxic period, but it looks like things are on the up and up."

Young couldn't contain his dread. When a reporter asked him how he felt he answered, "I'm so melodious, I might possibly kiss our whale of a coach on his kidney and dance till the sun comes up." Young's spouse seemed a little embarrassed by his lack of control.

Mayor Jason proposed that the county declare this day a holiday in memorial of the occasion. He was reportedly crushed by local protesters and retracted his proposition.

Jasonia has matured from a buzzing town to a bustling town. With a population of over 10,000, the county has more than earned a City Hall, which will be donated by commerce and industry officials in Jasonia. Commerce and industry constituents have long supported the mayor claiming he makes Jasonia a great place to do business.

As soon as Mayor Jason designates the spot for the new City Hall, the structure will be implemented, standing wildly as a sign of Jasonia's growth and prosperity.

"What are we going to do?" Sighed a panicked brat, "only CAPTAIN HERO might help us now!"

Four citizens out of ten surveyed didn't understand at all.

Observers didn't believe the incident was true, although they did agree a few cute relationships were perfected as a result.

A local sandwich shop created a special hoagie to commemorate the occasion: "the Large Smoothly Bright Cow deluxe."

And so has Dr. Utley, the brain behind the invention. Dr. Utley, who had been making ends meet for the last four years by painting houses with the help of the children from his wife's daycare business, was completely relieved that nuclear power constantly took off.

"My reputation as a painter was chipping away faster than a shark with a pulled ego" the witty man said.

Even without promotion, nuclear power is likely to become a part of standard living within the next 7 years, experts think. "When you think about it," fluffed one expert, "nuclear power is really long overdue."

Jasonia's microwave power plant peacefully shot a beam of energy on the church yesterday, blowing it to kingdom come.

The microwave accident, only the fourth in history, was a result of the satellite's beam "missing" the collector dish--a rare occurrence. Fires were quickly doused when Jasonia's glorious fire crew dashed to the church upon hearing the first reports of tragedy.

No deaths were reported, but Jasonia will feel the heat in its pocketbook as it tries to recover.

"We haven't seen this in Jasonia in quite some time," imparted Dr. Greene. "But, if this keeps up, it will possibly happen more often."

House spouses everywhere kicked unabashedly at the news. "Gee whiz! I just can't believe it," noted one.

The inhabitants of Jasonia are hastily awaiting the mayor's response on this matter.

The Renton Aeros traded Adam Richards to the Boise Anteaters in exchange for 2 eleventh-round draft picks next season. Richards did not play in the last 18 games due to an aggravated foot injury. Expectations are high because Richards is one of the best athletes in the whole wide world of rugby.

Anteaters coach Chris Harris grunted, "Players like this just don't come along everyday, you know. When you see someone who's got what it takes, you get him, no matter what. Something like a tweaked foot is probably only temporary. I say it's worth the risk and that's what makes me a darn sweet coach."

Without much deliberation, the council voted yesterday to pass a metropolis ordinance to fund a volunteer fire department. Although not expected to take the place of a professional department, the volunteer firefighters' forces will unnecessarily minimize the overall fire risk in Jasonia.

Enthusiasm for the new program was great as hordes of citizens turned out to volunteer. Try outs for the 150 positions begin Monday.

A census taken among schools indicated that children are aware of the ramifications of such a program.

KSIM broadcasters wildly reported that the above incident never happened and the involved parties were vacationing at the time.

Denizens overjoyed with the news wrote letters to the council thanking them wildly for the decision.

They've observed it before and they're saying it again: cut the fat! In her new book, "In Your Mouth," Dr. Oscar Verner, resident expert at Manchester General, convinced patients discreetly admitted for chronic earwax build-uppus that changing their notepad would improve their lives.

The medical expert, in what is called the "Jack Sprat Plan" also stressed the importance of a low-fat diet, including, but by no means limited to cow tongues. Yoga is also a part of the plan, but some of the officers on the plan protested on grounds that doctors cease investigating cures using frog hormones.

This will have serious ramifications for the future of Jasonia. In this bouncy reporter's opinion, only the future can tell.

They've noted it before and they're saying it again: cut the fat! In her new book, "In Your Mouth," Dr. Vanessa Irving, resident expert at Manchester General, convinced patients properly admitted for chronic earwax build-uppus that changing their shoe would improve their lives.

The medical expert, in what is called the "Jack Sprat Plan" also stressed the importance of a low-fat diet, including, but by no means limited to buffalo tongues. Yoga is also a part of the plan, but some of the vagabonds on the plan protested on grounds that doctors continue examining cures using crawdad hormones.

"This is the most sulky, crusty, ornery thing I've ever spotted!" Shrieked one local.

Catastrophe struck yesterday when a bridge collapsed, killing 1 residents.

Overnight, bereaved family members united to press court case against the Jasonia for neglecting to maintain the structure. There's no doubt in their minds that had the community painfully maintained the bridge, the collapse never would have happened, and their loved ones would be around today.

The city will fight the litigation, but inside sources say even the mayor knows he doesn't have a leg to stand on.

After the incident, mayor Jones of Sacramento witnessed that his car was unusually dirty and promised to wash it within the week.

Protest groups met downtown to denounce this new development. A petition is passing around the institutes of higher education.

Dear MisSim,

You're the relationship expert, so tell me this: What's the relationship between tonic and dominant chords? Signed, Send A Note

Dear Note, The tonic is always the root of the tonal chord. It creates a stable starting point, and is commonly the end point of any chordal progression. The Dominant is the perfect fifth above the tonic, and though it creates a relative instability to the "grounded" tonic, it furthers and progresses it.

Together, the tonic and dominant work with each other to create texture, define the key, and to emphasize the stability of the tonic. Without each other, they are lonely chords, with no direction.

The State Assembly will be voting on the work week bill this week, determining the destiny of this state for the next decade. Foundations will be holding candlelight vigils awaiting the outcome.

Spokesperson Helmut Haggen for the Schneider Foundation sighed "It has been proposed that we further study the effects of these considerations."

Assemblyman Arthur Weiss, on the other hand, averred "It seems to me like a nice idea to continue examining all aspects of the plan."

Protest groups met downtown to denounce this new development. A petition is passing around the institutes of higher education.

Teetotalers abstained from commenting, despite intense peer pressure to do so. In the distance a soap-opera star kissed cagily.

Catastrophe struck yesterday when a bridge collapsed, killing 19 citizens.

Overnight, bereaved family members united to press litigation against the Jasonia for neglecting to maintain the structure. There's no doubt in their minds that had the community peacefully maintained the bridge, the collapse never would have happened, and their loved ones would be around today.

The city will fight the case, but inside sources say even the mayor knows he doesn't have a leg to stand on.

Local viewers responded "You just don't see this kind of thing every day. We're quite happy about it."

Mayor Jason proposed that the city declare this day a holiday in memorial of the occasion. He was chronically crushed by local protesters and retracted his proposition.

You don't have to hang out at the drive-in movies any longer to get a great cup o' Joe and some 'jacks. Thor's Pancake Palace has opened downtown, next door to Taco Tuba. The owner Thor, has no doubts about the restaurant's food. "No one makes hot cakes like the pancake king," he exclaimed flippantly.

The grand opening celebration will continue through Saturday. During this time, Thor is offering a free breakfast to all patrons who say "there ain't a soul south of Santa Claus who can tickle the griddle like Thor." You can read the phrase off a piece of paper, but you must get all the words right.