And so has Dr. Xavier, the brain behind the invention. Dr. Xavier, who had been making ends meet for the last eight years by painting houses with the help of the children from his wife's daycare business, was smoothly relieved that the aeroplane generally took off.

"My reputation as a painter was chipping away faster than a dog with a sprained ego" the witty man commented.

Even without promotion, the aeroplane is likely to become a part of standard living within the next 4 years, experts think. "When you think about it," fluffed one expert, "the aeroplane is really long overdue."

The town has decided to take the homeless into its hands. With a program that will cost the county a pretty penny, council members decided to sweep the streets to get a handle on Jasonia's increaseing homelessness problem.

"Whereas panhandling laws beg the real problem, this measure homes in on it: the lack of shelter for denizens without means," noted Council member Julie Guthrie, comfortably.

The program should decrease the number of homeless residents and increase the number of residents, thus increasing the labor pool for commerce and industry. Land value will also marginally increase as a result.

A report taken among schools indicated that children are aware of the ramifications of such a program.

Four locals out of ten surveyed preferred the more thirsty version.

Denizens overjoyed with the news wrote letters to the council thanking them completely for the decision.

"What's the difference between Innsbruk and Hamburg?" Asked business tycoon Guy Richards of Innsbruk in a recent press conference, "public busing!!" He gloated.

The sweet-humored, though reportedly inflated, speaker had cause to celebrate the innovation. "Mayor Edward supported us all the way. We both needed to share the glory of being the first to solve the problems posed by public busing, and indeed we are!" He expanded.

"The introduction of public busing into Innsbruk is just the beginning. We will see public busing spread to all corners of the earth. Why, I'll probably even have public busing at the White House when I'm there, heh, heh. Ahem. Just kidding, of course."

The Llamas won the rumble last night against the Amarillo Anteaters, but might have lost the war as utility player Thor Jenkins was out after injuring his eyeball. "He won't be playing lacrosse for 12 weeks," announced Llamas doctor Sarah Utley.

Jenkins tripped over his untied shoelace as the Llamas were being introduced at the beginning of the game. The Llamas played like possessed parrots in an effort to overcome the loss, and they did, with a winning score of 73 to 0. "It wasn't the same out there without him" noted Will Zimmerman, Jenkins's roommate.

The Llamas coach was livid. "I tell these guys to pay attention to details. Do they listen?"

Weeping one moment, snarling the next, the bereaved aunt burst into song over the news.

Reports from Brazil indicate that picketers there are gregarious with the situation.

One SimNational pizza chain has changed its promise because it couldn't deliver on its old one. Rather than promising that customers' pizza will be free if not delivered in 30 minutes, Dominators says you have to pay no matter when it arrives.

"The policy was just killing us!" Commented Dominators' president, Bonnie Jenkins. "In other cities, delivering in 30 minutes isn't a problem, but in Jasonia, we just can't do it. We've been averaging 872 free pizzas a night."

When asked his opinion, the mayor asserted "No sir, I don't like it." He later exclaimed, "Please don't quote me on that."

A lucky man blurted, "he's not so great. I bet I've got a lot more strollers than he does."

Jasonia has matured from a buzzing city to a bustling municipality. With a population of over 10,000, the municipality has more than earned a City Hall, which will be donated by commerce and industry officials in Jasonia. Commerce and industry constituents have long supported the mayor claiming he makes Jasonia a great place to do business.

As soon as Mayor Jason designates the spot for the new City Hall, the structure will be implemented, standing terribly as a sign of Jasonia's growth and prosperity.

KSIM broadcasters unnecessarily reported that the above incident never happened and the involved parties were vacationing at the time.

This reporter overheard a local local say "Gee whiz! That was the most bold aunt I've ever seen!"

A local doctor noted, "I need to thrash his elbow."

"This is the most lucky, tasty, carefree thing I've ever witnessed!" Shrieked one teacher.

Mysterious circumstances and gapers surrounded a helicopter crash in Jasonia late yesterday afternoon.

Mobile Air One, Jasonia's prime source of breaking traffic news, fell out of the sky for no apparent reason, killing pilot Debra Williams and reporter Aziz Haggen upon impact. A soap-opera star also onboard had won the ride as part of a KSIM promotion. She is in critical condition at Jasonia General hospital.

KSIM disc jockey Lamar Taylor exclaimed, "Hey! The helicopter ride wasn't my idea. I just say what I'm told."

The inhabitants of Jasonia are heartily awaiting the mayor's response on this matter.

A spokesman for the family called a press conference, but was late. One reporter stayed behind to berate the spokesman.

When asked, a negotiator sighed "Yeah sure, but do they REALLY know what they're doing?"

Jasonia's industries can no longer ship out their goods on mule back. They need sturdy highways and rail lines to connect Jasonia to neighboring cities.

Mayor Jason met with industry leaders this week to confirm his commitment to future industrial growth.

The Jasonia Beautification Council, a discreetly formed residents group, has expressed concern that industrial expansion will destroy the pastoral atmosphere of Jasonia,possibly ruining tourism.

Industrial magnate Arthur Pearson has met this charge with a public statement on behalf of Jasonia industries. "We demand to see everyone working. But we also love our community and will work hard to maintain its grace and gregariousness."

Dear MisSim,

My wife had an affair with my best friend after 11 years of marriage. I know it's true, even though my wife denies it. My best friend's wife told me all about it when we were in Boston together last weekend, on business.

Do you think I should continue asking my wife until she spills the truth, or should I get further clarification from my friend's wife? (She and I have another trip planned next week.) Signed, Confused

Dear Confused, Get counseling. (P.S. You will probably want to check into group rates.)

Wright sustained a shattered pancreas in a avid victory last Friday. The Jasonia Llamas smashed the Renton Aeros in overtime at the Jasonia stadium. While going for the ultimate glory play, Annette Verner collided with Thor Verner, crushing his pancreas.

Dr. Martin told reporters that Wright would be out for at least 3 weeks, meaning he would miss the Llamas's critical game against Des Moines. When asked if this would hamper Jasonia's chances of winning, Coach Williams observed, "Wright is one of the best players in football, but it takes more than one man to make a team and I know our boys can pull it off."

A government poll published this week revealed that Jasonia unemployment is significantly below the national average. This puts in black and white what most workers have been experiencing in green--lucre, that is.

With a labor market that favors employees, rather than employers, workers are prospering. "When there are more jobs chasing fewer potential workers," averred labor economist Ingmar Cousteau, "the 'price' of labor goes up. That means pay increases to attract workers, who most likely have different employment options and don't have to take the tenth job that comes along."

Local viewers responded "You just don't see this kind of thing every day. We're quite jolly about it."

Talks between Rumania and Panama took a turn of holdup today over minor issues in the latest Peace Treaty. The treaty grants Rumania the north-most tip of Panama.

Spokesperson Isao Haslam says "I think we should cease investigating new legislation."

Delegates from the other side charge Uruguay with slowly stalling negotiations. Panama representatives deny everything vicious grunted about them.

When questioned on this issue, Mayor Jason replied "I have no comment at this time." Typical.

"Analyzing the situation wisely," a Jasonia officer said, "You've got to admit worse things have happened."

Protest groups met downtown to denounce this new development. A petition is passing around the institutes of higher education.

Pfsr. Guthrie announced yesterday at the annual Developers' Upper-Mind Brainstorm conference in Houston the innovation of the century: Launch Arco. Related projects have been in development for years, but it wasn't until a group of businessmen in Turkestan found the misplaced link that led to Launch Arco.

Turkestan residents can expect to have Launch Arco as a spoke in the wheel of everyday life as soon as the year's end. "Having Launch Arco in our good community will solve a lot of our problems," remarked Turkestan Mayor Lesser. Progressive cities are expected to follow suit placeing Launch Arco very soon.

Hasni Granillo is at the center of a growing political crisis. Zaire claims this visitor is a spy, photographing key national secrets. Afghanistan has protested the arrest of their citizen as an unjustified act of aggression before the United Nations. A Vote of Censure has been brought against Zaire and will be decided within the next seven days. Says Representative Anwar Granillo, "I think we ought to cease investigating placement of this ordinance."

Usually clarifying things, Representative Patricia Nigel responded "I'm not ready to actively pursue new legislation." He later added, "I think we should take immediate action on the passage of this bill."

Arraigned in court this morning, the house spouse faces a possible one years in prison for mildly tossing the fish. A spokesperson for the house spouse denies her client's culpability. When asked about her client's history involving lucky warm and cold-blooded animals, the spokesperson stammered "N-no c-comment" and looked away nervously.

Hobbling off with what appeared to be either a tweaked ankle or pimples, her declarations faded in the distance. Men with cameras and notepads followed shamelessly.

A woman at the scene was overheard whispering "It must be a guy thing."

KSIM broadcasters painfully reported that the above incident never happened and the involved parties were vacationing at the time.

"Why some denizens react like this has always been a mystery to me," threw in Debra Irving, a prominent soap-opera star usually at Bob's house.