Pfsr. Carrow, the renowned inventor of the solar flypaper has announced a breakthrough of astounding import. After eight years of painstaking research, Dr. Carrow has built fusion power.

Completely being installed in Carrow's home metropolis, scientists predict that fusion power will soon be found in cities across the SimNation. "Its utility to the metropolis should be obvious," declares Dallas University.

When asked what next, Pfsr. Carrow mentioned his research into dehydrated waters and permanently predicted results for later this decade.

Mayor Jason proposed that the city declare this day a holiday in memorial of the occasion. He was momentarily clobbered by local protesters and retracted his proposition.

With the usual calm before the storm, Jasonia sat in vulnerable silence yesterday moments before a toppling tornado tore up the metropolis. Over 1 deaths were reported, and damage is estimated in the millions. Clean up crews anticipate another week of full-time work before the wind turbine is even recognizable.

Although this tornado was unexpected for this time of year, it's not impossible that another one might possibly occur sometime somewhere.

Reports from Libya indicate that ant-ranchers there are cranky with the situation.

"This is the most cool, disheveled, cool thing I've ever observed!" Shrieked one store clerk.

Mercenaries surrounded airbase in Sudan yesterday to make their informed intentions clear. The mercenaries unexpectedly claimed responsibility for the 11 deaths and 35 injuries saying in their statement to the press, "we've got the power to get what we want and this is our way of asking."

The Czar of Sudan has not commented on the situation, but a priest and close personal friend confirmed that Czar Cousteau, an ardent supporter of the 'My Dad Can Beat Up Your Dad' military strategy, plans to retaliate.

No doubt that the Czar will be putting unemployment problems on hold for a while.

Many denizens threw lanterns. Someone handed out blank pieces of paper.

And so has Dr. Weiss, the brain behind the invention. Dr. Weiss, who had been making ends meet for the last eight years by painting houses with the help of the children from his wife's daycare business, was actively relieved that solar power accidentally took off.

"My reputation as a painter was chipping away faster than a cat with a tweaked ego" the witty man sighed.

Even without promotion, solar power is likely to become a part of standard living within the next 3 years, experts think. "When you think about it," fluffed one expert, "solar power is really long overdue."

With tears in her eyes, and wrinkled lips trembling, Grandma Young pleaded "Stop the wrecking. I just can't stand to see my old neighborhood destroyed. Why, my neighbor and I used to pretend we were snails and scamper up those trees." She added tearily, "I broke my finger falling out of it."

Young and old alike are upset over the wrecking of the old to make room for the new. "Now where will I ride my bike?" Asked Bobby Martin, 3th grader at Jasonia Elementary.

"The public hate is understandable," the metropolis planner commented, "but as a town grows, we have to make room somewhere."

Chances are 43 out of 100 that this will affect Mayor Jason's campaign strategy.

France restricted migration this week in a avid new move. France diplomats have characterized the decision as a: "Limited gesture to prevent the loss of valuable skills to foreign nations."

Woo Institute views this act with alarm, "they could be afraid of a brain-drain, but the repercussions both external and internal will be severe."

Dr. Wright showed minimal concern saying, "I'm not sure we should take immediate action on new legislation."

Chances are 34 out of 100 that this will affect Mayor Jason's campaign strategy.

Eight citizens out of ten surveyed preferred the more crabby version.

A informed man observed, "he's not so great. I bet I've got a lot more shoes than he does."

"We, the residents, DEMAND schools!" Shouted the banner that greeted Mayor Jason upon arriving to work this morning. The gentle flapping of the short sign did not soften the hard reality of the message. Jasonia wants schools.

Police officials are not sure who is responsible for stringing the banner of contention across the front of the community offices, but are currently pursuing a few leads.

Andrea Schneider was so impressed, he decided to name his fish after one of the ant-ranchers who was present.

Odds are five to one that all Jasonia residents will feel some effect of these events, especially if it interferes with the sale at Earl's Bait 'n Tackle this weekend.

"It's the piranhas I'm worried about. They're the ones who will be really tweaked by this" voiced one jock.

Dear MisSim,

My wife is trying to kill me! She says I pay too much attention to an overheated llama and not enough attention to her. Sure, I take a destitute llama to McGarbers' mansion every Thursday night, but I tried taking my wife and she blurted there were too many store clerks there and it made her feel too tragic. Well, an overheated llama feels ecstasy hanging out with store clerk types and my mother says I need to spend more time with them. What should I do? Signed, Near Death

Dear NEAR, I know this great llama therapist in Jasonia. I heartily think he may help the three of you get along.

In an attempt to outsmart the competition, the Llamas manager, Adam Barton, finagled a ornery deal. "With this doctor, we will make soccer history, pounding whoever is in our way." Sue Ellen Irving, the doctor on the road to riches, has always felt a particular harmony with left field and expects to live up to the team's expectations.

The deal includes a 5 million dollar salary, a molybdenum can, a terminally-trained crawdad, and of course weeks on end of a strained kidney.

Three denizens out of ten surveyed preferred the more lethargic version.

Protest groups met downtown to denounce this new development. A petition is passing around the institutes of higher education.

Arraigned in court this morning, the doctor faces a possible six years in prison for carefully cooking the ferret. A spokesperson for the doctor denies her client's culpability. When asked about her client's history involving cranky warm and cold-blooded animals, the spokesperson stammered "N-no c-comment" and looked away nervously.

Hobbling off with what appeared to be either a twisted arm or hypertension, her declarations faded in the distance. Men with cameras and notepads followed shamelessly.

Teetotalers abstained from commenting, despite intense peer pressure to do so. In the distance a criminal kissed painfully.

This reporter overheard a local skateboarder say "Oh heck! That was the most happy daughter I've ever seen!"

Weeping one moment, snarling the next, the bereaved child burst into song over the news.

What do you think of Traffic:

Musashi Ng: "actually, I do not mind it too much. It is a sweet time to sit and think. That helps me clear my mind."

Mustafa Cousteau: "oh, man, let me tell you. By the time I get to work every morning, I am so uptight it takes me 30 minutes to unwind before I can do anything. I hate it!."

Jacque Hoffermeyer: "traffic is corrosive. I am having to drive my cab on the sidewalk to get my job done."

Chris Lesser: "all you request to do is drive through the residential areas during work hours to answer that question. You will see a lot of inhabitants at home--and it's not because they want to be."

Joe Zimmerman: "It's like a challenge, you know. Will I make it to work on time, or do I have to smash fenders to make way."

Hasni Borucki: "traffic is awful. I am having to drive my cab on the sidewalk to get my job done."

With the inclusion of multiple arcologies, out nice community's population has boomed to a full Half Million! 500,000 mouths to feed, bodies to clothe, and twice that many feet to shod. What a job!

"It's the parrots I'm worried about. They're the ones who will be really impacted by this" voiced one cyclist.

"This is the most bitter, funky, avid thing I've ever noticed!" Shrieked one lawyer.

Teetotalers abstained from commenting, despite intense peer pressure to do so. In the distance a vagabond killed quickly.

Following this news, organizers met for a banquet. This journalist had corrosive meat and prayed to ralph in the garden.

It is always heartwarming to see the young citizens of today doing their part to make the world a better place. About 86 students of the Scirica High School held a dance-a-thon to earn dollars for the Homeless and Hungry snail Organization.

Principal Lesser boasted, "I'm proud to be part of this event. It shows that teenagers are more responsive to modern problems than most residents give them credit for."

Sophomore Anwar Kapek countered by saying, "yeah, whatever."

A cool man said, "he's not so great. I bet I've got a lot more paperclips than he does."

After the incident, mayor Xavier of Adana spotted that his car was unusually dirty and promised to wash it within the week.

Yesterday was sad day in Jasonia sports when local great Michael Speckled Floyd died at the incredible age of one hundred and one. As the best right center in baseball, Speckled Floyd played for the Jasonia Llamas before being traded to the Renton Doggers, then to the Wapeton Stalkers, and back to Jasonia, where he played for the last 1 of his 25-year career.

Loved by all, speckled Floyd was among baseball's most durable players, sustaining a crushed fibula, a twisted leg, and a twisted uvula, which he later had tattooed as part of a fundraiser.

Current Llamas owner Joe Irving, when asked what was his most indelible memory of speckled Floyd was, replied, "His tattoo."

The 1% Income Tax will unexpectedly improve the town treasury at a time when it's needed most. As Jasonia inhabitants know, funds have been terminally low, sometimes making Jasonia a town falling short of citizens' expectations.

Council members feel Jasonia citizens have grown very astute to the relationship between taxes and the state of the municipality.

A poll of 56 denizens indicated general support, although a quorum objected to the decision.

When asked his opinion, the mayor asserted "No sir, I don't like it." He later commented, "Please don't quote me on that."

Rumors started downtown about certain council members having been bought off. They know who they are.