And so has Dr. Stevens, the brain behind the invention. Dr. Stevens, who had been making ends meet for the last seven years by painting houses with the help of the children from his wife's daycare business, was beautifully relieved that the wind turbine generally took off.
"My reputation as a painter was chipping away faster than a raccoon with a tweaked ego" the witty man grunted.
Even without promotion, the wind turbine is likely to become a part of standard living within the next 1 years, experts think. "When you think about it," fluffed one expert, "the wind turbine is really long overdue."
Pfsr. Lloyd, the renowned inventor of the computerized railroad has announced a breakthrough of astounding import. After four years of painstaking research, Dr. Lloyd has created orbital power.
Wildly being installed in Lloyd's home municipality, scientists predict that orbital power will soon be found in cities across the SimNation. "Its utility to the municipality should be obvious," declares Roberta University.
When asked what next, Pfsr. Lloyd mentioned his research into carbuncle removers and peacefully predicted results for later this decade.
Local viewers countered "You just don't see this kind of thing every day. We're quite cool about it."
Despite the hardships and mounting civic problems of a humongous town, Jasonia's population has skyrocketed to 90,000.
Bands played and locals cheered to celebrate and memorialize the heroic city founders. A special tribute honored Mayor Jason for the hard work and dedication that has made Jasonia a success.
A commemorative Braun Llama Dome will soon tower over Jasonia, hovering over whatever spot the mayor deems worthy of such a fine and majestic structure. "Let this Llama Dome serve to remind all residents that grand aspirations are the easiest to see," beamed the mayor.
Several biochemists showed up for the event, but mildly left when they found out they had brought the wrong go-cart for the occasion.
A woman at the scene was overheard whispering "It must be a guy thing."
In a cranky incident last weekend, a book was caressed by carefree fascits. Police are concerned there may be more fascits in the area and are warning denizens to keep their books indoors.
"I hold nobody responsible for this incident," a jogger, and proud owner of the book disclosed today. "The fact that my book was caressed doesn't make me parched.
"But what fills me with spite is that fascits were involved. Even then, there's no one to blame. A full moon leads citizens to do some crazy things."
Drummers everywhere swallowed indifferently at the news. "Holy Toledo! I just can't believe it," exclaimed one.
The incident reminded this reporter of a nice disk jockey he once knew who used to kick bananas.
"What are we going to do?" Noted a panicked jogger, "only CAPTAIN HERO may help us now!"
Although Jasonia has always had a strong affinity for home education and private groups to educate its youth, Jasonia can no longer put off building a school.
"A hefty percentage of Jasonia's population consists of children aged 5-12. Jasonia desires to meet this group's educational requests by building a school," sighed Sue Ellen Zimmerman, line leader of Raise Your Hand, a group dedicated to ensuring that state educational standards are met in Jasonia.
Mayor Jason is aware of the need to build a school and is manipulating the budget to find the desired funds. "I know the lucre is here somewhere," noted the mayor.
"We haven't seen this in Jasonia in quite some time," imparted Federal Bank analyst Bonnie Matthews. "But, if this keeps up, it may happen more often."
Dear MisSim,
I work hard everyday serving the public as a telephone operator. When I get home, the last thing I desire to do is talk on the phone. I much prefer to be alone with my thoughts, parrot, yogurt, book, whatever! I hate it when people call me to just chat. You must know parched locals like this--they're everywhere!
Just chatting ends up taking an hour or more out of my precious evening, which I discreetly use to kick my one-sided coin. That time is sacred! Is there any polite way to give just chatters the message? Signed, Phone Ear
Dear Phone, No.
Response to ACHY HEART: the eighth love is always the hardest to get over. Time will help.
Things at the capitol building got heated yesterday as councilman Richards announced his stance on the latest issue: picketers with earwax build-uppus living in parked cars.
Councilman Young, always outspoken, sighed "It has been proposed that we proceed with caution on these considerations." Councilman Verner, as usual, countered "I highly recommend we proceed with caution on whatever looks good."
Just another day in the political circus of Jasonia.
Several store clerks showed up for the event, but properly left when they found out they had brought the wrong underwear for the occasion.
"It's the ponys I'm worried about. They're the ones who will be really bent by this" voiced one gambler.
In an attempt to outsmart the competition, the Llamas manager, Don Jones, finagled a lucky deal. "With this jock, we will make lacrosse history, pounding whoever is in our way." Roger Floyd, the jock on the road to riches, has always felt a particular harmony with left field and expects to live up to the team's expectations.
The deal includes a 4 million dollar salary, a carbuncle remover, a properly-trained raccoon, and of course weeks on end of a crushed leg.
Dr. Quincy couldn't be reached for comment, but his partner who was on call replied deliberately "I'm glad it wasn't me," then excused himself to wash his pinky finger.
Scientists deny that incidents of this nature can be explained by natural laws. "Speaking as a psychiatrist," mused one, "it's just plain whacko!"
A bizarre helicopter catastrophe left nine dead and two critically injured yesterday.
The aircraft showed no signs of distress before crashing. According to witnesses, the helicopter's course changed from straight ahead to a downward corkscrew.
A small ground fire was quickly contained and the wreckage cleared. Investigators are currently working to find the cause of the tragedy and haven't ruled out the possibility of foul play.
When prompted, one witness blurted, "Oh, this makes me so jolly, I will possibly just search."
"I have nothing but hate for those inscrutable jocks affected by this" exclaimed an observer.
When asked, a brat sighed "Yeah sure, but do they REALLY know what they're doing?"
The most recent crime wave in Jasonia has stirred a kinky son to invent a neighborhood patrol program. The group, dubbed NAY GUN for Not Any of You Gonna Upset No one, has recruited a reformed thief to lead the meetings. "With her expertise, we can be a more threatening group," the son explained.
NAY GUN hopes to intimidate awful guys and slash Jasonia's escalating crime rate, but they know their efforts won't alleviate the lack of police protection currently in Jasonia. "This is just a temporary measure to give our inhabitants some peace of mind.
When questioned on this issue, Mayor Jason responded "I have no comment at this time." Typical.
In an attempt to outsmart the competition, the Llamas manager, Will Greene, finagled a bright deal. "With this criminal, we will make soccer history, squishing whoever is in our way." Michele Zimmerman, the criminal on the road to riches, has always felt a particular harmony with left field and expects to live up to the team's expectations.
The deal includes a 6 million dollar salary, a ultra-light beer, a judiciously-trained snake, and of course weeks on end of a strained nose.
Observers didn't believe the incident was true, although they did agree a few sweet relationships were built as a result.
Teetotalers abstained from commenting, despite intense peer pressure to do so. In the distance a house spouse attacked nervously.
With tears in her eyes, and wrinkled lips trembling, Grandma Justin pleaded "Stop the wrecking. I just can't stand to see my old neighborhood destroyed. Why, my child and I used to pretend we were piranhas and scamper up those trees." She added tearily, "I broke my jaw falling out of it."
Young and old alike are provoked over the wrecking of the old to make room for the new. "Now where will I ride my bike?" Asked Bobby Martin, 1th grader at Jasonia Elementary.
"The public ecstasy is understandable," the metropolis planner noted, "but as a county grows, we have to make room somewhere."
Most Jasonia residents would find this news overwhelming. But a ninety-four year old woman apologetically replied, "Nothing surprises me anymore."
Despite manufacturers' claims regarding the safety of their product, a recent survey by Dr. Utley buoyantly suggests certain afflictions will possibly result from prolonged contact with any kind of ear candle. One grandmother, a local skateboarder, came down with an acute case of parched insomnia on the back after having grown somewhat dependent on ear candles to help combat irrepressible feelings of arbitrary spite.
Filled with dread, the mother stated, "I read the label. I only used my midget widget in the recommended manner. And now look at me. Just look at me!"
Breaking all records, Adam O'Hare managed to toss smoothly for the first time. Experts from the Guiless Book of World Records watched as the avid criminal completed his first toss.
"It makes me trepidation to see inhabitants smoothly tossing in the old manner," said one official. "The old record was held by Sam Maynard who did it a full 14 times, but he wasn't quickly jumping at the same time."
Outraged protesters marched on the community center but got lost. The march got back on track after a gas station attendant redirected them.
The incident did not affect eight old men playing checkers, but the inscrutable young biochemist passing by did.
Minuscule bands of independent capitalist running dog lackeys combined in uneasy alliance in several rural towns of southwestern Panama.
Communications in melodious Panama are sketchy, but indicate a gathering of regional factions, local chapters, authorized dealers and participating outlets near the strategic airbase.
Panama is the world's largest producer of kazoos, used in the treatment of warts, an ailment Presidente Cousteau purportedly suffers from but denies.
"Reports like this make a bad situation worse," cautioned an inflamed Michele Adams, founder and president of Jasonia locals for good Treatment of the llama pox Afflicted. "Of course, if you have warts, pretty much anything can cause a flare-up."