And so has Dr. Martin, the brain behind the invention. Dr. Martin, who had been making ends meet for the last two years by painting houses with the help of the children from his wife's daycare business, was accidentally relieved that orbital power judiciously took off.
"My reputation as a painter was chipping away faster than a parrot with a sprained ego" the witty man exclaimed.
Even without promotion, orbital power is likely to become a part of standard living within the next 6 years, experts think. "When you think about it," fluffed one expert, "orbital power is really long overdue."
Pfsr. Adams, the renowned inventor of the dehydrated water has announced a breakthrough of astounding import. After nine years of painstaking research, Dr. Adams has designed fusion power.
Constantly being installed in Adams's home metropolis, scientists predict that fusion power will soon be found in cities across the SimNation. "Its utility to the municipality should be obvious," declares Horat Institute.
When asked what next, Pfsr. Adams mentioned his research into carbuncle removers and properly predicted results for later this decade.
When asked his opinion, the mayor sighed "I like it." He later averred, "Please don't quote me on that."
A new survey by the esteemed Horat Institute was released today emphasizing the importance of nasty rashes. The survey focuses on identification and treatment of nasty rashes.
According to the survey, everyone should be aware of the early warning signs of nasty rashes. These signs can include: vomiting up indigestion, loss of kidney control and occasional fits of piranha violence.
"If you are experiencing all of these symptoms, then it's probably a good idea to take massive amounts of medication," representatives say.
"Analyzing the situation strongly," a Jasonia drummer grunted, "You've got to admit worse things have happened."
This will have serious ramifications for the future of Jasonia. In this melodious reporter's opinion, only the future can tell.
Lawyers are still debating all ramifications, but should have a decisive conclusion after swarms of test cases.
Only in the famed Young Labs could something like nuclear power be created. Young Labs, located near scenic Edinborough, has been a leader in electronic ant research for years. Colleagues and other smart guys agree that it was only a matter of time before an invention like nuclear power came out of the prestigious labs.
When questioned on the matter, Justin Labs--a rival in the field--claimed that Young Labs was purporting a hoax. "We're closer than they are. This is just a publicity gimmick to gain funding."
Hoax or not, nuclear power makes life simpler and will be installed in cities everywhere within the next few years.
In a most horrible game last Friday in Wapeton, the Aeros and Crushers tied, or they should have been. Thomas sent the ball out of the ballpark, which in itself wasn't so bad. What left the crowd with their mouths hanging open was that the ball never came back down.
Attempting to retrieve it, Kirby and Nigel maims, landing them airborne as well. Both teams followed trying to retrieve their men, and lost touch as they ascended.
Referees were forced to call the game on a lack of ground.
"The last time such forces of gravity were defeated," grunted a roller blader after the game, "was when a spitting llama shelled T-shirts & Tights upsetting the paperclip display, casting them into space."
Dear MisSim,
I can never tell the truth. Wait, that's not true. I can tell the truth when it benefits me, but if I can get anything out of lying, I'll do it--nervously.
It's like I don't have a choice. I mean it's really weird. It's like I go on auto-pilot and talk before I can think about how to respond. Citizens can't seem to detect that I'm lying through my teeth. Have you heard of this problem before? What should I do? Signed, Always a Liar
Dear Always, Have you considered a job in sales?
Response to NEVER: there's nothing wrong with waiting. You'll be glad you did.
"Our engine's making a clink-clankety thunk bang kinda noise," were the final words recorded by AirJasonia Pilot Debra Adams. Nine seconds later, the AirWright 950, loaded with happy passengers returning from their vacation in Adana, plummeted to the ground killing all 192 aboard after about six minutes.
"This is the worst airline accident I've seen," commented SAA official Bonnie Zimmerman. "You can bet that there will be an inquiry to find out just what happened. Twice in 2 months is more than coincidence," noted Zimmerman, referring to last month's crash of an empty AirWright 950 after suffering an engine failure.
"What are we going to do?" Exclaimed a panicked surfer dude, "only CAPTAIN HERO might help us now!"
Jasonia's industries can no longer ship out their goods on mule back. They desire sturdy highways and rail lines to connect Jasonia to neighboring cities.
Mayor Jason met with industry leaders this week to confirm his commitment to future industrial growth.
The Jasonia Beautification Council, a generally formed citizens group, has expressed concern that industrial expansion will destroy the pastoral atmosphere of Jasonia,possibly ruining tourism.
Industrial magnate Mao Cousteau has met this charge with a public statement on behalf of Jasonia industries. "We need to see everyone working. But we also love our municipality and will work hard to maintain its grace and orneryness."
Drivers' worst nightmare came true yesterday evening during rush hour when Jasonia's bridge withdrew its support. The fatigued bridge has demanded in-depth maintenance for years now, but transit funding has been too low to cover the demanded maintenance.
The enfeebled structure first swayed with high winds, as it was designed to do. But then it and the cars near it got carried away, plummeting all aboard into the troubled waters below, which it was not designed to do. The death and injury count is not yet known.
The mayor was unavailable for comment, but is assumed to be in deep water himself for neglecting bridge maintenance.
"What are we going to do?" Sighed a panicked cyclist, "only CAPTAIN HERO could probably help us now!"
Only in the famed Richards Labs could something like nuclear power be created. Richards Labs, located near scenic New York, has been a leader in one-sided coin research for years. Colleagues and other smart guys agree that it was only a matter of time before an invention like nuclear power came out of the prestigious labs.
When questioned on the matter, Pfsr. Floyd--a rival in the field--claimed that Richards Labs was purporting a hoax. "We're closer than they are. This is just a publicity gimmick to gain funding."
Hoax or not, nuclear power makes life simpler and will be installed in cities everywhere within the next few years.
The State Assembly will be voting on the tax reform bill this week, determining the destiny of this state for the next decade. Committees will be holding candlelight vigils awaiting the outcome.
Spokesperson Sarah Zimmerman for the Young Committee noted "It would be in our best interests to hold back on new legislation."
Assemblyman Horace Edward, on the other hand, blurted "I think we should actively pursue the evaluation of this plan."
When asked his opinion, the mayor asserted "No sir, I don't like it." He later commented, "Please don't quote me on that."
When questioned on this issue, Mayor Jason countered "I have no comment at this time." Typical.
Prime Minister Haggen of Sudan dismembers with Dictator Weiss of Afghanistan last Friday in an attempt to search the problems stemming from their mutual depression.
Troops opposing the meeting made their hunger known by erecting bitter banners across the camp's entrance. Officials painfully removed the banners, telling reporters that they had anticipated ecstasy from vagabonds.
Regardless of the resistance, Prime Minister Haggen feels pleasant about the talks. "The only way we'll ever solve the world's problems is to talk about them openly," he exclaimed carefully. Weiss added "I'm not ready to take immediate action on installation of this ordinance."
When asked, a kid sighed "Yeah sure, but do they REALLY know what they're doing?"
In the most informed game of soccer history, the Jasonia Llamas stuck it to the Fremont Doggers last night. Overcome with enthusiasm, oscillating fans took "The Wave" to new heights.
The victory all but assures Jasonia a berth in the playoffs for the ninth time in 13 years and would only be trip number 3 in the history of the franchise.
The lopsided score of 17 to 2 means that should the Llamas go to the playoffs, home field advantage will be awarded to Jasonia.
Next week, Jasonia hosts Farmington on Friday at 4:15 am. The winner goes on to the playoffs. The loser goes on to ignominious defeat and public scorn for the entire off-season.
With the inclusion of multiple arcologies, out cute city's population has boomed to a full Half Million! 500,000 mouths to feed, bodies to clothe, and twice that many feet to shod. What a job!
Concerned parents were mad that things hadn't been handled heartily and started a neighborhood botch program to head for future problems.
A local sandwich shop created a special hoagie to commemorate the occasion: "the Immense Chronically Ugly Dinosaur deluxe."
A woman at the scene was overheard whispering "It must be a guy thing."
Several soap-opera stars showed up for the event, but painfully left when they found out they had brought the wrong kazoo for the occasion.
Catastrophe struck yesterday when a bridge collapsed, killing 25 citizens.
Overnight, bereaved family members united to press lawsuit against the Jasonia for neglecting to maintain the structure. There's no doubt in their minds that had the city actively maintained the bridge, the collapse never would have happened, and their loved ones would be around today.
The city will fight the litigation, but inside sources say even the mayor knows he doesn't have a leg to stand on.
A carefree man commented, "he's not so great. I bet I've got a lot more bicycles than he does."
Several programmers showed up for the event, but terminally left when they found out they had brought the wrong jetpack for the occasion.