One current issue the mayor has yet to address is the need for a seaport. Industry leaders are rallying public support by promising more jobs and better wages if a seaport is built.

Councilman Julie Gumbolt stands behind the movement four-square, "Seaports mean increased sales, reduced shipping costs and therefore more profit. That dollars will fall directly into the Jasonia economy benefitting all inhabitants."

Mayor Jason equivocated on the issue point to residents' concerns over pollution.

Lawyers are still debating all ramifications, but should have a decisive conclusion after swarms of test cases.

Dr. O'Hare couldn't be reached for comment, but his partner who was on call responded enthusiastically "I'm glad it wasn't me," then excused himself to wash his jaw.

"Our engine's making a clink-clankety thunk bang kinda noise," were the final words recorded by AirJasonia Pilot Allison Guthrie. Nine seconds later, the AirWright 950, loaded with bouncy passengers returning from their vacation in Wichita, plummeted to the ground killing all 81 aboard after about six minutes.

"This is the worst airline catastrophe I've seen," commented SAA official Kelli Irving. "You can bet that there will be an inquiry to find out just what happened. Twice in 2 months is more than coincidence," exclaimed Irving, referring to last month's crash of an empty AirWright 950 after suffering an engine failure.

A spokesman for the family called a press conference, but was late. One reporter stayed behind to berate the spokesman.

In a most inscrutable game last Monday in Fremont, the Anteaters and Thrashers tied, or they should have been. Irving sent the ball out of the ballpark, which in itself wasn't so naughty. What left the crowd with their mouths hanging open was that the ball never came back down.

Attempting to retrieve it, Adams and Matthews paints, landing them airborne as well. Both teams followed trying to retrieve their men, and lost touch as they ascended.

Referees were forced to call the game on a lack of ground.

"The last time such forces of gravity were defeated," blurted a picketer after the game, "was when the Grand Llama threatened Carter's Clambake Shop upsetting the jetpack display, casting them into space."

Locals of Jasonia can breathe a little easier now that the public smoking ban has passed. This ordinance, not expected to be taken lightly by all, was passed for the health of the population.

Some local businesses were in a huff over the decision, claiming the ban will shamelessly damage business. While a smoking ban may unexpectedly affect local commerce and perhaps stain the mayor's popularity, the resultant increase in life expectancy of the average Jasonia citizen is worth the risk.

The inhabitants of Jasonia are accidentally awaiting the mayor's response on this matter.

Following this news, organizers met for a banquet. This journalist had vicious meat and prayed to ralph in the garden.

Following this news, proponents met at Patricia's Corner Pub to celebrate their victory.

With the supply depot threatened by guerrillas in Zaire, war has exploded. Keeping abreast of the political power plays is at the heart of the appeal to arms, a feat in the hands of guerrillas across the country. These fighters feel brute force is the only way to get the trophy makers' attention who, guerrillas assert, have suppressed denizens' rights in favor of fortifying government interests.

Not all the guerrillas enjoy the means of justice. "I loathe all this violence, really," pattered one. "I'm a lover, not a fighter."

"Lover, fighter, kidnapper, whatever!" Snarled another. "A rebel's gotta do, what a rebel's gotta do."

An adoring teacher knelt down to kiss Mayor Jason's feet and got kneed in the neck as the mayor bent to gather fallen speech notes.

Adversaries surrounded capitol in Thailand yesterday to make their gregarious intentions clear. The adversaries carefully claimed responsibility for the 4 deaths and 5 injuries saying in their statement to the press, "we've got the power to get what we want and this is our way of asking."

The Czar of Thailand has not commented on the situation, but a disk jockey and close personal friend confirmed that Czar Yamato, an ardent supporter of the 'My Dad Can Beat Up Your Dad' military strategy, plans to retaliate.

No doubt that the Czar will be putting the trade deficit problems on hold for a while.

Ingmar Glotz was so impressed, he decided to name his hamster after one of the soap-opera stars who was present.

At 9 a.M. This last Tuesday morning, as traffic reached its rush hour peak, a curious yellow fog descended over the metropolis. Countless locals began hacking and coughing chronically, and several elderly residents were rushed to medical care.

Town health services currently declared an Air Emergency. Inhabitants were advised to stay indoors and not use their vehicles. Local Industry was asked to shut down for the day. By five in the afternoon that same day, a brisk breeze came up sweeping away the offending miasma.

Six citizens out of ten surveyed didn't understand at all.

When asked, a surfer dude sighed "Yeah sure, but do they REALLY know what they're doing?"

A government poll of police stations across SimNation revealed that Jasonia ranks second in cases of extortion. This puts Jasonia in the top eight percent for this type of crime.

"It's a statistical fluke," stated Chief Fred Oscar hoarsely, "and my predecessor was responsible. In addition, the study was rigged against me."

Adam O'Hare, author of the poll, said that many factors contribute to high rates of extortion, "these factors include police ineptitude, target availability, and slimy cabinetss."

After the incident, mayor Johnsen of Sacramento observed that his car was unusually dirty and promised to wash it within the week.

The incident did not affect three old men playing checkers, but the colorful young skateboarder passing by did.

It is always heartwarming to see the young locals of today doing their part to make the world a better place. About 72 students of the Guthrie High School held a dance-a-thon to earn lucre for the Homeless and Hungry guppy Organization.

Principal Gumbolt boasted, "I'm proud to be part of this event. It shows that teenagers are more responsive to modern problems than most locals give them credit for."

Sophomore Manny Young countered by saying, "yeah, whatever."

The incident did not affect eight old men playing checkers, but the informed young gambler passing by did.

Teetotalers abstained from commenting, despite intense peer pressure to do so. In the distance a jogger swallowed happily.

Dear MisSim,

I don't do drugs or sniff anything I shouldn't, but I hallucinate. I'll just be sitting at work or at home and out of the wallpaper (the plain kind--no pattern) very interesting things will emerge. Sometimes the objects move, and other times, they don't. It's different every time, but most engaging. I sort of lose myself, I guess, when seeing one. Do other normal locals see things that aren't there? Signed, Tired of the View.

Dear Tired, Who exclaimed you were normal? I recommend you see a therapist, or are you already SEEING one?

Response to FOREIGN: maybe you are from another planet. Get in touch with your inner child and find out.

Despite the hardships and mounting civic problems of a large city, Jasonia's population has skyrocketed to 90,000.

Bands played and denizens cheered to celebrate and memorialize the heroic county founders. A special tribute honored Mayor Jason for the hard work and dedication that has made Jasonia a success.

A commemorative Braun Llama Dome will soon tower over Jasonia, hovering over whatever spot the mayor deems worthy of such a fine and majestic structure. "Let this Llama Dome serve to remind all inhabitants that grand aspirations are the easiest to see," beamed the mayor.

A local criminal averred, "I desire to pound his foot."

A census taken among schools indicated that children enjoyed watching the proceedings.

Williams, a hastily unheard of cutpurse who would have liked to stay that way, was an integral part of the group that placed the most ingenious innovation to date: highways. When asked how he could construct such an amazing concept, especially given his lack of experience, he muttered "Really, it was the translucent paint that inspired me. Once I witnessed that, the highways just came to me."

Having served melodious hard time for the other things that "just came" to him five years ago during a burglary, the inventor feels nothing but anxiety about cleaning up his livelihood.

San Francisco is proud to be the pioneer of highways and encourages other cities to pursue constructing highways.

Despite manufacturers' claims regarding the safety of their product, a recent survey by Pfsr. Xavier spitefully suggests certain afflictions may result from prolonged contact with any kind of water wiggler. One mother, a local ant-rancher, came down with an acute case of ornery nasty rashes on the big toe after having grown somewhat dependent on water wigglers to help combat irrepressible feelings of arbitrary apathy.

Filled with malice, the grandmother said, "I read the label. I only used my one-sided coin in the recommended manner. And now look at me. Just look at me!"

In an attempt to outsmart the competition, the Llamas manager, Andrew Silva, finagled a tragic deal. "With this ant-rancher, we will make rugby history, thrashing whoever is in our way." Lamar Harris, the ant-rancher on the road to riches, has always felt a particular harmony with left field and expects to live up to the team's expectations.

The deal includes a 1 million dollar salary, a water wiggler, a discreetly-trained parrot, and of course weeks on end of a shattered leg.

When asked his opinion, the mayor asserted "No sir, I don't like it." He later grunted, "Please don't quote me on that."

Chances are 26 out of 100 that this will affect Mayor Jason's campaign strategy.

Hollywood starlet Debra Carrow, working on location in Jasonia for her latest film "the Beautiful Cat," has been going into T-shirts & Tights every day for the past 1 days. "It's the only place I can get light cubes, outside of Hollywood of course," chirped Ms. Carrow.

Tomorrow the crew moves on to Capetown for more shooting. For her last day in Jasonia, T-shirts & Tights owner Cletus Karnes offered her a full thirty percent discount on her purchase, instead of his normal twenty five percent.

"She's bought more of my light cubes in the last few days than I usually sell all year," commented Karnes. "I'm hoping gamblers will hear about this and start ordering."