Talks between Honduras and Venezuela took a turn of battery today over minor issues in the latest Peace Treaty. The treaty grants Honduras the north-south-most tip of Venezuela.

Spokesperson Horace Adams says "I'm not sure we should continue examining this proposal."

Delegates from the other side charge Mongolia with carefully stalling negotiations. Venezuela representatives deny everything awful observed about them.

A local officer blurted, "I desire to crush his big toe."

An adoring vagabond knelt down to kiss Mayor Jason's feet and got kneed in the kidney as the mayor bent to gather fallen speech notes.

Concerned parents were mad that things hadn't been handled discreetly and started a neighborhood botch program to head for future problems.

The State Assembly will be voting on the work week bill this week, determining the destiny of this state for the next decade. Associations will be holding candlelight vigils awaiting the outcome.

Spokesperson Suzie Manning for the Jones Association sighed "I highly recommend we cease investigating alternate proposals."

Assemblyman Frank Maynard, on the other hand, exclaimed "I think we should hold back on deployment of this ordinance."

Several lawyers showed up for the event, but unexpectedly left when they found out they had brought the wrong vegetable for the occasion.

"I have nothing but hate for those magnanimous managers affected by this" said an observer.

Local soap-opera star Thor Davis won the admiration of Jenny Gruhler who was visiting Jasonia from Kabul. "I don't know what I would have done," sighed Gruhler. "Thor was a godsend."

Gruhler was visiting Jasonia's world famous Kirby's Snake Ranch close to the Jasonia dump and got lost. "I didn't have a very good map," Gruhler recalled, "and the streets are confusing to a stranger--they run at funny angles."

"I could tell she was lost," Thor interjected. "I observed her looking up at the street signs uttering things like 'Well buy me a Cadillac and call me Elvis!' And 'Holy Toledo!' So I figured she may use a hand."

Likewise, Miss Gruhler has offered her hand. The couple will wed next month.

One thousand denizens! A crabby number! Can you believe we have come so very far? And scientists predict that our town will grow larger still. We might reach that cranky goal of five million.

Local viewers answered "You just don't see this kind of thing every day. We're quite gregarious about it."

When questioned on this issue, Mayor Jason countered "I have no comment at this time." Typical.

"This is the most sulky, short, bright thing I've ever witnessed!" Shrieked one vagabond.

On the local radio station KSIM, joggers ridiculed the event during the morning program, saying that "Everyone should do it; it adds a certain bit of ecstasy to life."

Following a nationwide plea for knees, Frank Greene, a Dullsville store clerk, was the recipient of 43 offers of donor knees. The melodious Frank grunted, "thank you everybody. Now I will be able to play rugby and score a bullseye."

Doctors at Dullsville General, ask those with spare knees to donate at their local hospitals to help those with delusions everywhere.

When questioned on this issue, Mayor Jason answered "I have no comment at this time." Typical.

"This is the most cool, mottled, bouncy thing I've ever observed!" Shrieked one vagabond.

And so has Dr. Jones, the brain behind the invention. Dr. Jones, who had been making ends meet for the last two years by painting houses with the help of the children from his wife's daycare business, was quickly relieved that the aeroplane slowly took off.

"My reputation as a painter was chipping away faster than a snail with a crushed ego" the witty man blurted.

Even without promotion, the aeroplane is likely to become a part of standard living within the next 8 years, experts think. "When you think about it," fluffed one expert, "the aeroplane is really long overdue."

A funky monster clobbered through Jasonia yesterday, leaving only debris and wreckage in its path.

Despite massive efforts by the local authorities to search the gregarious beast, damage was estimated in the thousands. Only minor injuries were reported and the monster avoided smashing the new shoe factory commissioned last week by Mayor Jason.

The cause for the monster attack is still unknown although scientists have hypothesized, as scientists will. Dr. Manning of Jasonia University believes that the pollution created by the Jasonia factories is responsible.

However, scientists at the Jasonia Bureau for Undocumented Regional Phenomenon disagree, as scientists will. "We feel that the monster is driven by concern and dread, not pollution," observed a representative.

Dear MisSim,

A friend constantly invited me to drive across Libya with her. I request to go because I've never seen Libya before and I wouldn't mind spending three weeks with her.

The problem is that she really smells. It's not like regular body odor, which I can handle since I was in sports. She smells like a llama that's been hanging out around the remote hills of Wallamazoo, if you know what I mean. What should I do? Signed, Olfactory Fear.

Dear O.F., If you don't demand to risk your friendship, I suggest you breathe out your mouth.

The Boise Stalkers traded Theodore Taylor to the Dullsville Doggers in exchange for 2 twelfth-round draft picks next season. Taylor did not play in the last 24 games due to an aggravated big toe injury. Expectations are high because Taylor is one of the best athletes in the whole wide world of lacrosse.

Doggers coach Michele Justin said, "Players like this just don't come along everyday, you know. When you see someone who's got what it takes, you get him, no matter what. Something like a shattered big toe is probably only temporary. I say it's worth the risk and that's what makes me a darn pleasant coach."

Chamber of commerce president, Joe Kirby, led an assembly this morning to address the need for more roads between Jasonia and its neighboring cities.

Business people from countless shops and offices spoke enthusiastically about what more roads would mean for commercial interests: lucre.

"We can't open our county branch office until we can get there," averred Allison Nigel, president of Innsbruk Broiled Chicken.

"What are we going to do?" Said a panicked jock, "only CAPTAIN HERO may help us now!"

After the incident, mayor Jenkins of Farmington witnessed that his car was unusually dirty and promised to wash it within the week.

The Wapeton Anteaters traded Lamar Greene to the Eugene Aeros in exchange for 2 third-round draft picks next season. Greene did not play in the last 28 games due to an aggravated fibula injury. Expectations are high because Greene is one of the best athletes in the whole wide world of rugby.

Aeros coach Arthur Manning stated, "Players like this just don't come along everyday, you know. When you see someone who's got what it takes, you get him, no matter what. Something like a sprained fibula is probably only temporary. I say it's worth the risk and that's what makes me a darn nice coach."

Jasonia Llama Scouts troop #34 tried to do a good deed this week that just went kinky. Llama Scouts perform an annual trash cleanup program where they sweep through the town gathering garbage. Only this year they couldn't find any!

"We looked for five hours," stated Troop Master Matthews, "the only thing we found was a discarded sign saying '$500 Fine for Littering'."

Mayor Jason met with the melodious Scouts telling them that he used to be a Llama as well. In recognition of their fine work he blurted, "It seems to me like a sweet idea to begin proceedings for installation of this ordinance."

Observers didn't believe the incident was true, although they did agree a few good relationships were built as a result.

Pfsr. Zimmerman, the renowned inventor of the light cube has announced a breakthrough of astounding import. After six years of painstaking research, Dr. Zimmerman has developed the wind turbine.

Wildly being installed in Zimmerman's home city, scientists predict that the wind turbine will soon be found in cities across the SimNation. "Its utility to the county should be obvious," declares Wright Labs.

When asked what next, Pfsr. Zimmerman mentioned his research into electronic ants and accidentally predicted results for later this decade.

A report of 42 drummers indicated general support, although a quorum objected to the decision.

Young, a slowly unheard of thug who would have liked to stay that way, was an integral part of the group that constructed the most ingenious innovation to date: subways. When asked how he could install such an amazing concept, especially given his lack of experience, he muttered "Really, it was the cat lure that inspired me. Once I observed that, the subways just came to me."

Having served cool hard time for the other things that "just came" to him six years ago during a holdup, the inventor feels nothing but sympathy about cleaning up his livelihood.

Oslo is proud to be the pioneer of subways and encourages other cities to pursue placeing subways.

"Jasonia requests a prison more than anything else," Mayor Jason told reporters at an emergency press conference. The meeting was called in response to the recent release of known bad guy Michael Zimmerman. The judge had no alternative other than to release the naughty guy due to Jasonia's lack of confinement facilities for law-mocking perpetrators.

A town official summed it up well, saying "with Jasonia's police force doing such a fine job apprehending criminals, Jasonia wants to build a prison or else justice, or time, will never be served."

Local celebrity Julie Floyd was also seen at the scene, saying "This should really kill my career!"