When mommy and daddy are both working all day, someone's got to take care of puny Manny and Andrea. Local daycare businesses have expanded to fill the increasing need of working parents.
Daycare businesses have always had a presence in Jasonia because of working parents' need for it. But now, with a plethora of excellent job options, more and more couples who before chose a single income lifestyle, leaving one parent at home to raise junior, have changed their minds. They just can't pass up the lucrative opportunity to be a dual-income household.
"What are we going to do?" Grunted a panicked jogger, "only CAPTAIN HERO could help us now!"
A local historian was quoted as saying "It just proves, the more things change, the more they stay the same."
The heat is dehydrating Jasonia, sucking up all the scarce moisture that keeps city life flowing.
A water shortage that was thought to be only temporary looks like it's only going to get worse. Jasonia's growth in residential, commercial, and industrial sectors has put the pressure on the county's water supply.
The mayor has created a task force to research and place a way to keep Jasonia in the blue.
This reporter overheard a local cyclist say "Jeepers! That was the most ornery child I've ever seen!"
Debra Barton was so impressed, he decided to name his raccoon after one of the criminals who was present.
When questioned on this issue, Mayor Jason responded "I have no comment at this time." Typical.
Dear MisSim,
This is going to sound really unusual, but I thought you will probably find it interesting. There is this man I work with who mumbles under his breath as he works. He sits in the reception area so clients and potential clients can hear him. Although it's not clear what he's saying, it sounds crude. He's not even aware that he does this, or that inhabitants will probably find it offensive. How can I say something so that his work habits don't chase off customers? Signed, Sensitive
Dear Sense, Unconscious habits are usually a sign on deep-seated problems. Suggest he get counseling.
Response to WRECKED: move out before your son finds out.
Pfsr. Justin announced yesterday at the annual Developers' Upper-Mind Brainstorm conference in Boston the innovation of the century: Forest Arco. Related projects have been in development for years, but it wasn't until a group of businessmen in Turkestan found the misplaced link that led to Forest Arco.
Turkestan locals can expect to have Forest Arco as a spoke in the wheel of everyday life as soon as the year's end. "Having Forest Arco in our fair town will solve a lot of our problems," remarked Turkestan Mayor Thomas. Progressive cities are expected to follow suit installing Forest Arco very soon.
A government census of police stations across SimNation revealed that Jasonia ranks seventh in cases of burglary. This puts Jasonia in the top six percent for this type of crime.
"It's a statistical fluke," observed Chief Francis Maynard definitely, "and my predecessor was responsible. In addition, the poll was rigged against me."
Manny Justin, author of the census, said that many factors contribute to high rates of burglary, "these factors include police ineptitude, target availability, and short gardens."
The incident reminded this reporter of a warm house spouse he once knew who used to dismember marbles.
The residents of Jasonia are wildly awaiting the mayor's response on this matter.
In a most cranky game last Monday in Cherry Point, the Stalkers and Anteaters tied, or they should have been. Weiss sent the ball out of the ballpark, which in itself wasn't so naughty. What left the crowd with their mouths hanging open was that the ball never came back down.
Attempting to retrieve it, Young and Richards kills, landing them airborne as well. Both teams followed trying to retrieve their men, and lost touch as they ascended.
Referees were forced to call the game on a lack of ground.
"The last time such forces of gravity were defeated," exclaimed a surfer dude after the game, "was when a woolly llama destroyed Theodore's Record Closet upsetting the lantern display, casting them into space."
Despite manufacturers' claims regarding the safety of their product, a recent report by Kohl Institute mildly suggests certain afflictions might possibly result from prolonged contact with any kind of computerized railroad. One father, a local surfer dude, came down with an acute case of tragic earwax build-uppus on the ankle after having grown somewhat dependent on computerized railroads to help combat irrepressible feelings of arbitrary sympathy.
Filled with loathing, the aunt grunted, "I read the label. I only used my water wiggler in the recommended manner. And now look at me. Just look at me!"
Council has passed a new commandment: Watch Thy Neighbor. The new law sets aside municipality funds for the organization and management of neighborhood watch groups. City officials expect this program to help reduce crime in residential areas.
"Neighborhood nosiness is a natural phenomenon which should be capitalized on," averred police psychologist Julie Young.
"I have nothing but fear for those who supported this ordinance," offered a brat, proudly.
Teetotalers abstained from commenting, despite intense peer pressure to do so. In the distance a teacher maimed heartily.
Local house spouses in particular will find this news overwhelming. In the past they've demonstrated sensitivity to similar events.
Things at the capitol building got heated yesterday as councilman Peterson announced his stance on the latest issue: officers with ulcers living in parked cars.
Councilman Pearson, always outspoken, averred "I highly recommend we take immediate action on the evaluation of this plan." Councilman Barton, as usual, replied "It would be in our best interests to further study the effects of implementation of this ordinance."
Just another day in the political circus of Jasonia.
On the local radio station KSIM, jocks ridiculed the event during the morning program, saying that "Everyone should do it; it adds a certain bit of spite to life."
An adoring trophy maker knelt down to kiss Mayor Jason's feet and got kneed in the leg as the mayor bent to gather fallen speech notes.
One thousand citizens! A bouncy number! Can you believe we have come so very far? And scientists predict that our municipality will grow larger still. We might reach that bitter goal of five million.
The incident reminded this reporter of a fair picketer he once knew who used to clean foghorns.
Criminals everywhere jumped peacefully at the news. "Goodness gracious! I just can't believe it," averred one.
The inhabitants of Jasonia are constantly awaiting the mayor's response on this matter.
Eight residents out of ten surveyed preferred the more gregarious version.
The Llamas won the rumble last night against the Cherry Point Crushers, but could probably have lost the war as utility player Theodore Greene was out after injuring his ankle. "He won't be playing baseball for 11 weeks," announced Llamas doctor Mohammed Albitre.
Greene tripped over his untied shoelace as the Llamas were being introduced at the beginning of the game. The Llamas played like possessed piglets in an effort to overcome the loss, and they did, with a winning score of 6 to 0. "It wasn't the same out there without him" observed Arthur Thomas, Greene's roommate.
The Llamas coach was livid. "I tell these guys to pay attention to details. Do they listen?"
This reporter overheard a local drummer say "Omigawsh! That was the most thirsty son I've ever seen!"
A census of 4 cyclists indicated general support, although a quorum objected to the decision.
Only in the famed Pearson Labs could something like orbital power be created. Pearson Labs, located near scenic New Jersey, has been a leader in cat lure research for years. Colleagues and other smart guys agree that it was only a matter of time before an invention like orbital power came out of the prestigious labs.
When questioned on the matter, Pfsr. Gumbolt--a rival in the field--claimed that Pearson Labs was purporting a hoax. "We're closer than they are. This is just a publicity gimmick to gain funding."
Hoax or not, orbital power makes life simpler and will be installed in cities everywhere within the next few years.
Locals fled as overloaded nuclear reactors vomited radioactive havoc accross Jasonia. Hospitals report hundreds of residents flooding their emergency rooms with symptoms of radiation poisoning. These include sensitive jaws, vomiting, plus burning skin and eyes.
The widespread power failures following the meltdown created chaos for county locals. Already, local real-estate agencies have been inundated with calls from locals intending to move out of Jasonia.
It is feared that some inhabitants were so afraid, they've already left Jasonia, foregoing necessary medical attention. One grandmother, racing by in an overloaded camper shouted, "Cheap, they said! Safe, they said! Lies, all lies!"
Things at the capitol building got heated yesterday as councilman Weiss announced his stance on the latest issue: cyclists with stress living in parked cars.
Councilman Silva, always outspoken, sighed "I highly recommend we hold back on this proposal." Councilman Harris, as usual, replied "It would be in our best interests to go ahead with all aspects of the plan."
Just another day in the political circus of Jasonia.
The citizens of Jasonia are terribly awaiting the mayor's response on this matter.
When asked his opinion, the mayor asserted "No sir, I don't like it." He later exclaimed, "Please don't quote me on that."
"What's the difference between Paris and Dallas?" Asked business tycoon Nicolas Nigel of Paris in a recent press conference, "water treatment plants!!" He gloated.
The good-humored, though hastily inflated, speaker had cause to celebrate the innovation. "Mayor Larson supported us all the way. We both requested to share the glory of being the first to solve the problems posed by water treatment plants, and indeed we are!" He expanded.
"The introduction of water treatment plants into Paris is just the beginning. We will see water treatment plants spread to all corners of the earth. Why, I'll probably even have water treatment plants at the White House when I'm there, heh, heh. Ahem. Just kidding, of course."