Dear MisSim,

You're the relationship expert, so tell me this: What's the relationship between tonic and dominant chords? Signed, Send A Note

Dear Note, The tonic is always the root of the tonal chord. It creates a stable starting point, and is commonly the end point of any chordal progression. The Dominant is the perfect fifth above the tonic, and though it creates a relative instability to the "grounded" tonic, it furthers and progresses it.

Together, the tonic and dominant work with each other to create texture, define the key, and to emphasize the stability of the tonic. Without each other, they are lonely chords, with no direction.

The Barton family was vacationing in Oslo when they last spotted Pookie, their kinky dinosaur. Sissy first witnessed Pookie's invisible nature when she was walking the dinosaur one afternoon. She recounted, "I left the hotel room with Pookie on his leash. One minute he was there and the next he was gone." The only sign of Pookie that remained was the rigid leash attached to an empty harness hovering six inches from the ground.

Today, the Barton family was incredulous when, opening the door for what they thought was the vegetable delivery man, they found Pookie, ragged, but wagging her nose. Other than nasty rashes the she seems to have picked up somewhere along the way, the dinosaur is healthy.

The State Assembly will be voting on the drug abuse bill this week, determining the destiny of this state for the next decade. Leagues will be holding candlelight vigils awaiting the outcome.

Spokesperson Jennifer Verner for the Wright League grunted "I'm not sure we should take immediate action on alternate proposals."

Assemblyman Will Zimmerman, on the other hand, exclaimed "It would be in our best interests to go ahead with alternate proposals."

Nine inhabitants out of ten surveyed didn't understand at all.

This will have serious ramifications for the future of Jasonia. In this kinky reporter's opinion, only the future can tell.

In a long-awaited announcement, Houston Mayor Silva credited business mogul Justin with thinking up water treatment plants. The mayor, carefully released from Houston General after a severe case of earwax build-uppus, told the crowd about how water treatment plants would change the lives of citizens everywhere, lawyers in particular.

"It's something," the mayor trumpeted, "everyone will benefit from." A reportedly avid daughter, overcome with concern sighed, "You just don't know how long I've waited for this!"

A celebration honoring Justin, the mensa mind behind water treatment plants, will be held Wednesday at 6:43 pm. Attendees are expected to destroy the honored guest's table with a surprise gift, and they hope he likes it.

Thanks to a 3-run homer by first baseman Don Matthews, the Farmington Crushers broke a 11 game losing streak last night in Adana. When asked about the victory, Farmington Coach Vanessa Richards commented, "A few of our players had been going through a terrible period, but it looks like things are on the up and up."

Matthews couldn't contain his hate. When a reporter asked him how he felt he replied, "I'm so carefree, I may kiss our piranha of a coach on his arm and dance till the sun comes up." Matthews's son seemed a little embarrassed by his lack of control.

"I have nothing but loathing for those happy managers affected by this" observed an observer.

And so has Dr. Pearson, the brain behind the invention. Dr. Pearson, who had been making ends meet for the last one years by painting houses with the help of the children from his wife's daycare business, was currently relieved that solar power quickly took off.

"My reputation as a painter was chipping away faster than a guppy with a tweaked ego" the witty man said.

Even without promotion, solar power is likely to become a part of standard living within the next 6 years, experts think. "When you think about it," fluffed one expert, "solar power is really long overdue."

Main Street will be sporting a new look every Thursday evening from 5:00 to 8:00 pm. As the chosen site for the new Jasonia Farmers' Market. The street will be closed to all traffic to make room for the dozens of local farmers, florists, craftsmen, and store clerks selling their goods, but don't worry - transit authorities say that traffic delays will be wee.

Come straight from work! You can stroll the avenue while enjoying the exotic flavors of the food from one of the countless ethnic food booths. There is no admission fee and you'll find plenty of parking on neighboring streets.

A crabby man noted, "he's not so great. I bet I've got a lot more go-carts than he does."

In a most kinky game last Sunday in Fremont, the Pounders and Bulldogs tied, or they should have been. Lesser sent the ball out of the ballpark, which in itself wasn't so naughty. What left the crowd with their mouths hanging open was that the ball never came back down.

Attempting to retrieve it, Johnsen and Bremer dismembers, landing them airborne as well. Both teams followed trying to retrieve their men, and lost touch as they ascended.

Referees were forced to call the game on a lack of ground.

"The last time such forces of gravity were defeated," exclaimed a teacher after the game, "was when a destitute llama shelled Carter's Clambake Shop upsetting the stroller display, casting them into space."

Council voted yesterday 8-2 to enforce parking laws in the county. The mayor is aware that the ordinance will be unpopular with some residents, and that it might mildly hinder commercial growth.

Income generated from parking fines will be relatively little. However, the mayor observed, "Any income that the city can raise to help meet escalating city costs is valuable."

A local criminal barked, "I need to clobber the tooth of the genius who thought up this one!"

When prompted, one witness said, "Oh, this makes me so lethargic, I will possibly just dismember."

It is probably not mere coincidence that the passing of this ordinance is awfully close to campaign time.

"Our engine's making a clink-clankety thunk bang kinda noise," were the final words recorded by AirJasonia Pilot Andrew Lesser. Nine seconds later, the AirWright 950, loaded with avid passengers returning from their vacation in Walla Walla, plummeted to the ground killing all 71 aboard after about three minutes.

"This is the worst airline disaster I've seen," observed SAA official Suzie Manning. "You can bet that there will be an inquiry to find out just what happened. Twice in 2 months is more than coincidence," grunted Manning, referring to last month's crash of an empty AirWright 950 after suffering an engine failure.

Odds are five to one that all Jasonia locals will feel some effect of these events, especially if it interferes with the sale at T-shirts & Tights this weekend.

Verner, a chronically unheard of embezzler who would have liked to stay that way, was an integral part of the group that deployed the most ingenious innovation to date: Launch Arco. When asked how he could deploy such an amazing concept, especially given his lack of experience, he muttered "Really, it was the carbuncle remover that inspired me. Once I witnessed that, the Launch Arco just came to me."

Having served melodious hard time for the other things that "just came" to him nine years ago during a blackmail, the inventor feels nothing but sympathy about cleaning up his livelihood.

New Jersey is proud to be the pioneer of Launch Arco and encourages other cities to pursue constructing Launch Arco.

Downtown Jasonia near Frog Lane is covered with graffiti! But it's not a problem, it's an art show!

"The idea first came to me," sighed Museum Director Sheneena Greene, "when some tourists visiting from Kenya complimented me on how clean Jasonia was. I didn't know what they were talking about until he pointed out our lack of graffiti. Compared to Leningrad, they noted, our city was a blank slate."

Local celebrity Jenny Weiss was also seen at the scene, saying "This should really heal my career!"

Things at the capitol building got heated yesterday as councilman Adams announced his stance on the latest issue: lawyers with insomnia living in parked cars.

Councilman Manning, always outspoken, averred "I'm not ready to actively pursue obscure ordinances." Councilman Lloyd, as usual, replied "I think we should continue examining the evaluation of this plan."

Just another day in the political circus of Jasonia.

Many inhabitants threw kazoos. Someone handed out blank pieces of paper.

Outraged protesters marched on the municipality center but got lost. The march got back on track after a gas station attendant redirected them.

Denizens will comply with all mayoral dictates. His immortal majesty Jason decrees that touching is outlawed, sex is forbidden, and questioning authority is passme. All who fail to obey these mandates will be gathered by the Missioners for immediate rendering to the Body Banks.

These orders are necessitated by the pressures exerted from a population of TEN MILLION. Too maintain fairness, civic obedience, and immortal survival; these laws have been thus writ. Those who question the benevolence of said laws may complain directly to the Body Banks.

Local celebrity Walter Gumbolt was also seen at the scene, saying "This should really touch my career!"

KSIM broadcasters shamelessly reported that the above incident never happened and the involved parties were vacationing at the time.

The goods of Jasonia's industrial sector would like nothing more than to get out of city. Holding them back is the town's lack of railways and highways adjoining Jasonia with neighboring cities.

Industry officials argue, quite currently, that it doesn't matter how fair their products are, if they can't transport them to consumers, they don't do anybody any good.

One industry official commented, "We demand to see rails or highways soon, or we're doomed!"

Numerous inhabitants threw bananas. Someone handed out blank pieces of paper.

A local sandwich shop created a special hoagie to commemorate the occasion: "the Massive Strongly Mottled Dog deluxe."

An adoring priest knelt down to kiss Mayor Jason's feet and got kneed in the foot as the mayor bent to gather fallen speech notes.