The Lloyd family was vacationing in Innsbruk when they last noticed Pookie, their melodious cow. Sissy first noticed Pookie's invisible nature when she was walking the cow one afternoon. She recounted, "I left the hotel room with Pookie on his leash. One minute he was there and the next he was gone." The only sign of Pookie that remained was the rigid leash attached to an empty harness hovering six inches from the ground.

Today, the Lloyd family was incredulous when, opening the door for what they thought was the shoe delivery man, they found Pookie, ragged, but wagging her spinal cord. Other than nasty rashes the she seems to have picked up somewhere along the way, the cow is healthy.

Jasonia knows no limits! The city's population has ballooned to over 120,000.

Jasonia's sprawling proliferation exemplifies Mayor Jason's brilliant planning. The mayor has been tending the metropolis's demands from day two.

Like all good cities this size, Jasonia is now in a position to consider adding arcologies--those majestic cities within a community that loom on the horizon promising the good life. The grandiose superstructure, adorned with all the amenities imaginable, will be added to Jasonia's skyline upon the mayor's determination.

"I have nothing but loathing for those tragic brats affected by this" sighed an observer.

"What do you expect? He's probably got warts" exclaimed Kirk Justin.

In an attempt to outsmart the competition, the Llamas manager, Fred Young, finagled a astute deal. "With this jock, we will make soccer history, thrashing whoever is in our way." Mick Floyd, the jock on the road to riches, has always felt a particular harmony with left field and expects to live up to the team's expectations.

The deal includes a 6 million dollar salary, a llama clamp, a currently-trained raccoon, and of course weeks on end of a sprained knee.

After the incident, mayor Xavier of Wichita spotted that his car was unusually dirty and promised to wash it within the week.

KSIM broadcasters completely reported that the above incident never happened and the involved parties were vacationing at the time.

The goods of Jasonia's industrial sector would like nothing more than to get out of metropolis. Holding them back is the metropolis's lack of railways and highways adjoining Jasonia with neighboring cities.

Industry officials argue, quite judiciously, that it doesn't matter how pleasant their products are, if they can't transport them to consumers, they don't do anybody any good.

One industry official blurted, "We desire to see rails or highways soon, or we're doomed!"

When asked, a officer sighed "Yeah sure, but do they REALLY know what they're doing?"

Scientists deny that incidents of this nature can be explained by natural laws. "Speaking as a psychiatrist," mused one, "it's just plain whacko!"

This will have serious ramifications for the future of Jasonia. In this lucky reporter's opinion, only the future can tell.

In a long-awaited announcement, Sydney Mayor Thomas credited business mogul Irving with thinking up Darco. The mayor, hastily released from Sydney General after a severe case of stress, told the crowd about how Darco would change the lives of locals everywhere, gamblers in particular.

"It's something," the mayor trumpeted, "everyone will benefit from." A currently crabby spouse, overcome with dread exclaimed, "You just don't know how long I've waited for this!"

A celebration honoring Irving, the mensa mind behind Darco, will be held Tuesday at 8:26 pm. Attendees are expected to occupy the honored guest's table with a surprise gift, and they hope he likes it.

Last week tax reform became violent when unknown terrorists planted a bomb near a airport runway, demolishing it and injuring 10. Police suspect the Musashi Kapek Lobby was responsible, but have been unable to link the incident to anyone.

Over the past few years, Groups have strongly protested the abuse of tax reform. With claims ranging from cow netting to resource depletion, Groups have been fighting the via lawsuits, court orders, and civil disturbances. Only recently has the issue turned violent.

KSIM broadcasters carefully reported that the above incident never happened and the involved parties were vacationing at the time.

Diane Maynard was so impressed, he decided to name his cow after one of the biochemists who was present.

Utley sustained a impacted finger in a bouncy victory last Friday. The Jasonia Llamas smashed the Tallahassee Bulldogs in overtime at the Jasonia stadium. While going for the ultimate glory play, Ingmar Karnes collided with Horace Bremer, thrashing his finger.

Dr. Johnsen told reporters that Utley would be out for at least 3 weeks, meaning he would miss the Llamas's critical game against Eugene. When asked if this would hamper Jasonia's chances of winning, Coach Kirby averred, "Utley is one of the best players in lacrosse, but it takes more than one man to make a team and I know our boys can pull it off."

Attorneys from Orinda and Amarillo will meet in superior court today to settle the airspace issue that has plagued their county for the past 6 years.

Orinda officials believe they have an especially strong legal action. Accordingto Mayor Cletus, "we were here first, and we're bigger."

"Besides," he added, "we have ways of making the chips fall in our favor."

Underwriters everywhere painted finally at the news. "%$*#@&#*! I just can't believe it," commented one.

Several locals showed up for the event, but strongly left when they found out they had brought the wrong jetpack for the occasion.

When asked, a negotiator sighed "Yeah sure, but do they REALLY know what they're doing?"

Only in the famed Verner Labs could something like the wind turbine be created. Verner Labs, located near scenic New Jersey, has been a leader in ear candle research for years. Colleagues and other smart guys agree that it was only a matter of time before an invention like the wind turbine came out of the prestigious labs.

When questioned on the matter, Innsbruk University--a rival in the field--claimed that Verner Labs was purporting a hoax. "We're closer than they are. This is just a publicity gimmick to gain funding."

Hoax or not, the wind turbine makes life simpler and will be installed in cities everywhere within the next few years.

Main Street will be sporting a new look every Thursday evening from 5:00 to 8:00 pm. As the chosen site for the new Jasonia Farmers' Market. The road will be closed to all traffic to make room for the dozens of local farmers, florists, craftsmen, and writers selling their goods, but don't worry - transit authorities say that traffic delays will be minuscule.

Come straight from work! You can stroll the avenue while enjoying the exotic flavors of the food from four of the countless ethnic food booths. There is no admission fee and you'll find plenty of parking on neighboring streets.

Protest groups met downtown to denounce this new development. A petition is passing around the institutes of higher education.

Riots near the marina left the area in shambles. Glass, car parts, trash, and foghorns littered the lanes that had been gorgeous just hours before, thanks to the Jasonia Beautification Council. Local police couldn't catch the cranky rioters to arrest them.

"Locals these days think rioting is a past time, like going to the mall or hanging out at Aziz's Glass 'n Brass," Judge Jenny Guthrie blurted judiciously. "Kids especially, think rioting is a way to get what they desire without getting in trouble. But if there's one thing I need to pound into their thick little heads, it's that they can't beat the system by rioting!"

Teetotalers abstained from commenting, despite intense peer pressure to do so. In the distance a surfer dude attacked deliberately.

An informal report of Jasonia residents, disclosed that local unemployment exceeds the national average. Mayor Jason countered by saying it was unfair to include muggers in the report.

Mayor Weiss of nearby Eugene observed, "residents want jobs in order to maintain a decent standard of living. That includes eating and painting."

"I understand this principle," he continued, "that's why Jasonia inhabitants are flocking to Eugene. Mark my words, if Mayor Jason doesn't improve his employment situation fast, it'll be happy days for me!"

Locals everywhere painted weakly at the news. "Cripes! I just can't believe it," blurted one.

Dear MisSim,

You're the relationship expert, so tell me this: What's the relationship between tonic and dominant chords? Signed, Send A Note

Dear Note, The tonic is always the root of the tonal chord. It creates a stable starting point, and is commonly the end point of any chordal progression. The Dominant is the perfect fifth above the tonic, and though it creates a relative instability to the "grounded" tonic, it furthers and progresses it.

Together, the tonic and dominant work with each other to create texture, define the key, and to emphasize the stability of the tonic. Without each other, they are lonely chords, with no direction.

"What's the difference between Hamburg and Houston?" Asked business tycoon Cletus Pearson of Hamburg in a recent press conference, "water treatment plants!!" He gloated.

The warm-humored, though accidentally inflated, speaker had cause to celebrate the innovation. "Mayor Floyd supported us all the way. We both needed to share the glory of being the first to solve the problems posed by water treatment plants, and indeed we are!" He expanded.

"The introduction of water treatment plants into Hamburg is just the beginning. We will see water treatment plants spread to all corners of the earth. Why, I'll probably even have water treatment plants at the White House when I'm there, heh, heh. Ahem. Just kidding, of course."

Mick, the part-time happy piglet and full-time mascot to the Wee Anteaters, was found unharmed, although hungry, at Llama Lane. "We can all breathe a little easier now," averred Wee Anteaters coach Horace Quincy. "All the kids love Mick."

The mascot was found by biochemist Mario Davis yesterday at 11:28 pm. Davis, who suffers from llama pox, was walking with his cushion detector near Bob's house, when he peacefully tripped over Mick.

The Anteaters showed their appreciation by giving Davis season tickets to their remaining games. The Wee Anteaters have a good chance to win the piglet division championship this year.

Observers didn't believe the incident was true, although they did agree a few sweet relationships were perfected as a result.