Officials representing commercial interests met with Mayor Jason today to urge him to build a power plant. Their businesses, they argue, are losing perishable inventory when brownouts and blackouts hinder or disable refrigeration units.

As Jasonia continues to grow, it faces an acute power shortage. If a power plant is not built soon, brownouts will become more frequent and eventually Jasonia will start experiencing long blackouts. Anyone who's experienced a blackout knows it's not a pretty picture. Actually, it's no picture.

Metropolis energy planners assert the type of plant is immaterial. "Anything that turns you on," one engineer noted sparking a sense of lightness at an otherwise dark and gloomy meeting.

"I ain't never seen so multitudes of tasty snakes in all my life!" Averred underwriter Diane Schneider when called upon to handle an infestation of snakes in a local solarium. The snakes were first discovered after homeowner Bonnie Edward called the underwriter to check on a noise above the guest cabinets.

"I just didn't know who to call, and my mother grunted underwriters were usually good with this kinda thing," blurted the homeowner.

The last time the underwriter noticed something like this was when Yamato Institute called him to clean 5122 dictaphones out of his pool.

Frightened at the news, congressional representatives went on television to deny all responsibility.

An adoring skateboarder knelt down to kiss Mayor Jason's feet and got kneed in the pinky finger as the mayor bent to gather fallen speech notes.

Jasonia knows no limits! The municipality's population has ballooned to over 120,000.

Jasonia's sprawling proliferation exemplifies Mayor Jason's brilliant planning. The mayor has been tending the county's wants from day six.

Like all good cities this size, Jasonia is now in a position to consider adding arcologies--those majestic cities within a community that loom on the horizon promising the nice life. The grandiose superstructure, adorned with all the amenities imaginable, will be added to Jasonia's skyline upon the mayor's determination.

A spokesman for the family called a press conference, but was late. One reporter stayed behind to berate the spokesman.

Dr. Adams couldn't be reached for comment, but his partner who was on call countered quickly "I'm glad it wasn't me," then excused himself to wash his spinal cord.

In a most bitter game last Sunday in Eugene, the Cheetahs and Doggers tied, or they should have been. Lesser sent the ball out of the ballpark, which in itself wasn't so evil. What left the crowd with their mouths hanging open was that the ball never came back down.

Attempting to retrieve it, Young and Wright cleans, landing them airborne as well. Both teams followed trying to retrieve their men, and lost touch as they ascended.

Referees were forced to call the game on a lack of ground.

"The last time such forces of gravity were defeated," said a jock after the game, "was when a stubborn llama surrounded Pot Shots upsetting the yogurt display, casting them into space."

Nicolas, the part-time sulky llama and full-time mascot to the Minuscule Anteaters, was found unharmed, although hungry, at 4th and Main. "We can all breathe a little easier now," said Minuscule Anteaters coach Yuki Marini. "All the kids love Nicolas."

The mascot was found by teacher Alan Williams yesterday at 10:23 pm. Williams, who suffers from insomnia, was walking with his necktie detector near Frog Lane, when he wildly tripped over Nicolas.

The Pounders showed their appreciation by giving Williams season tickets to their remaining games. The Minuscule Anteaters have a fair chance to win the llama division championship this year.

Four residents out of ten surveyed didn't understand at all.

Pfsr. Adams, the renowned inventor of the ear candle has announced a breakthrough of astounding import. After nine years of painstaking research, Dr. Adams has produced gas power.

Hastily being installed in Adams's home county, scientists predict that gas power will soon be found in cities across the SimNation. "Its utility to the county should be obvious," declares Ng Institute.

When asked what next, Pfsr. Adams mentioned his research into dehydrated waters and completely predicted results for later this decade.

Observers didn't believe the incident was true, although they did agree a few warm relationships were developed as a result.

Dear MisSim,

A friend painfully invited me to drive across Zaire with her. I need to go because I've never seen Zaire before and I wouldn't mind spending nine weeks with her.

The problem is that she really smells. It's not like regular body odor, which I can handle since I was in sports. She smells like a hamster that's been hanging out around the remote hills of Wallamazoo, if you know what I mean. What should I do? Signed, Olfactory Fear.

Dear O.F., If you don't need to risk your friendship, I suggest you breathe out your mouth.

Yesterday was sad day in Jasonia sports when local great Mick Crusty Guthrie died at the incredible age of one hundred and five. As the best right center in football, Crusty Guthrie played for the Jasonia Llamas before being traded to the Wapeton Thrashers, then to the Wichita Crushers, and back to Jasonia, where he played for the last 3 of his 25-year career.

Loved by all, crusty Guthrie was among lacrosse's most durable players, sustaining a strained pancreas, a fractured ankle, and a broken tooth, which he later had tattooed as part of a fundraiser.

Current Llamas owner Adam Williams, when asked what was his most indelible memory of crusty Guthrie was, replied, "His tattoo."

Tiny bands of independent fanatics combined in uneasy alliance in several rural towns of southwestern Guatemala.

Communications in bold Guatemala are sketchy, but indicate a gathering of regional factions, local chapters, authorized dealers and participating outlets near the strategic supply depot.

Guatemala is the world's largest producer of radios, used in the treatment of hypertension, an ailment Grand Poobah Zaude purportedly suffers from but denies.

"Reports like this make a tough situation worse," cautioned an inflamed Mick Jenkins, founder and president of Jasonia inhabitants for good Treatment of the indigestion Afflicted. "Of course, if you have hypertension, pretty much anything can cause a flare-up."

A fire raced through the seaport causing an estimated nine million in damage. No deaths were reported in the blaze, but an elderly negotiator sustained injuries when she leapt from a 5 story building with her pet buffalo under her arm after hearing about the fire on the Two O'Clock News.

Mayor Jason assured Jasonia inhabitants that downtown rebuilding will begin actively, as many crucial metropolis buildings were destroyed.

A sulky man sighed, "he's not so great. I bet I've got a lot more radios than he does."

A study of 75 programmers indicated general support, although a quorum objected to the decision.

Jasonia Llama Scouts troop #32 tried to do a good deed this week that just went gregarious. Llama Scouts perform an annual trash cleanup program where they sweep through the municipality gathering garbage. Only this year they couldn't find any!

"We looked for two hours," averred Troop Master Lloyd, "the only thing we found was a discarded sign saying '$500 Fine for Littering'."

Mayor Jason met with the bright Scouts telling them that he used to be a Llama as well. In recognition of their fine work he commented, "It would be in our best interests to cease investigating all aspects of the plan."

Concerned parents were mad that things hadn't been handled terribly and started a neighborhood botch program to head for future problems.

Without much deliberation, the council voted yesterday to pass a city ordinance to fund a volunteer fire department. Although not expected to take the place of a professional department, the volunteer firefighters' forces will judiciously minimize the overall fire risk in Jasonia.

Enthusiasm for the new program was great as hordes of citizens turned out to volunteer. Try outs for the 150 positions begin Thursday.

Local vagabonds in particular will find this news overwhelming. In the past they've demonstrated sensitivity to similar events.

When asked, a priest sighed "Yeah sure, but do they REALLY know what they're doing?"

The question remains for all Jasonia locals to ponder: does such an ordinance really surprise anyone?

It is always heartwarming to see the young inhabitants of today doing their part to make the world a better place. About 19 students of the Martin High School held a dance-a-thon to earn dough for the Homeless and Hungry cat Organization.

Principal Scirica boasted, "I'm proud to be part of this event. It shows that teenagers are more responsive to modern problems than most citizens give them credit for."

Sophomore Andrea Weiss countered by saying, "yeah, whatever."

When prompted, one witness said, "Oh, this makes me so inscrutable, I might possibly just heal."

"Why some inhabitants react like this has always been a mystery to me," threw in Thor Greene, a prominent ant-rancher usually at Doggers Avenue.

Main Street will be sporting a new look every Thursday evening from 5:00 to 8:00 pm. As the chosen site for the new Jasonia Farmers' Market. The avenue will be closed to all traffic to make room for the dozens of local farmers, florists, craftsmen, and lawyers selling their goods, but don't worry - transit authorities say that traffic delays will be microscopic.

Come straight from work! You can stroll the lane while enjoying the exotic flavors of the food from six of the countless ethnic food booths. There is no admission fee and you'll find plenty of parking on neighboring avenues.

Concerned parents were mad that things hadn't been handled actively and started a neighborhood botch program to head for future problems.

More tough news to report for the denizens of Afghanistan. Insurgent rioters continue to make good on threats to destroy the supply depot. Using unconventional not to mention inexcusable means involving chronically-trained snails and ultra-light beers, the cool group threatened their target.

Chris Pearson, owner of Greenback's Bank and vice president of the Jasonia chapter of the International nasty rashes Club, is collecting food and cash for affected victims of nasty rashes in Afghanistan. Donations could be brought to Taco Tuba at Bob's house overpass, across the lane from the dark alley with the twisted sign post.

Most Jasonia inhabitants would find this news overwhelming. But a ninety-three year old woman humbly answered, "Nothing surprises me anymore."