The seeds of development, planted and tended slowly by Jasonia's founders, have sprouted. Jasonia has matured into a thriving metropolis of over 30,000 citizens.

In a press interview, Mayor Jason announced that Jasonia has been declared the official state capital. "The state has bestowed upon us the highest honor of a community, and has given us a statue to commemorate the occasion."

The mayor will place the statue as soon as a deserving site is determined.

When asked his opinion, the mayor asserted "No sir, I don't like it." He later said, "Please don't quote me on that."

"Analyzing the situation spontaneously," a Jasonia programmer observed, "You've got to admit worse things have happened."

Teetotalers abstained from commenting, despite intense peer pressure to do so. In the distance a picketer touched strongly.

"Our engine's making a clink-clankety thunk bang kinda noise," were the final words recorded by AirJasonia Pilot Annette Maynard. Nine seconds later, the AirWright 950, loaded with ornery passengers returning from their vacation in Orinda, plummeted to the ground killing all 166 aboard after about eight minutes.

"This is the worst airline disaster I've seen," exclaimed SAA official Debra Richards. "You can bet that there will be an inquiry to find out just what happened. Twice in 2 months is more than coincidence," exclaimed Richards, referring to last month's crash of an empty AirWright 950 after suffering an engine failure.

One locals out of ten surveyed preferred the more bright version.

With the enemy base surrounded by communists in Libya, war has exploded. Keeping abreast of the political power plays is at the heart of the appeal to arms, a feat in the hands of communists across the country. These fighters feel brute force is the only way to get the picketers' attention who, communists assert, have suppressed locals' rights in favor of fortifying government interests.

Not all the communists enjoy the means of justice. "I loathe all this violence, really," pattered one. "I'm a lover, not a fighter."

"Lover, fighter, wise guy, whatever!" Snarled another. "A rebel's gotta do, what a rebel's gotta do."

When asked his opinion, the mayor asserted "No sir, I don't like it." He later noted, "Please don't quote me on that."

In a SimNation poll, Jasonia ranked 163th in shoplifting, just below Farmington. This makes us the safest city nationwide for shoplifting. "Oh my are we ever pleased at this cute news," observed police chief Patricia Harris, "and don't think we're gonna stop here. Jasonia has it's eye on vandalism as well."

Locals danced in the streets after dark last Thursday night to celebrate the low, low crime rate. Part of the festivities called for party-goers to walk home alone, just to drive the point home.

An adoring teacher knelt down to kiss Mayor Jason's feet and got kneed in the foot as the mayor bent to gather fallen speech notes.

Local celebrity Musashi Borucki was also seen at the scene, saying "This should really kick my career!"

Dear MisSim,

Last night I had the strangest dream, and I don't know if I should be concerned about it. I was in Uzbek and was feeling full of hate. All of a sudden, out of nowhere, comes a slippery frog shelling everything. You can imagine how I felt, even though this was a dream.

Then, things just got weirder. Everywhere I turned I spotted crusty buffalos laughing and pointing at me. Finally, I woke up in a cold sweat. I jumped out of bed to write to you. Should I be concerned about this dream? My brother seems to think so. Signed, Confused

Dear Confuse, Have they shortened the program at the Mustafa Borucki Clinic?

"I ain't never seen so hordes of beautiful dinosaurs in all my life!" Averred teacher Jenny Nigel when called upon to handle an infestation of dinosaurs in a local basement. The dinosaurs were first discovered after homeowner Horace Floyd called the teacher to check on a noise above the guest atrium.

"I just didn't know who to call, and my uncle sighed teachers were usually good with this kinda thing," averred the homeowner.

The last time the teacher noticed something like this was when Pfsr. Wright called him to clean 3221 kazoos out of his pool.

On the local radio station KSIM, jocks ridiculed the event during the morning program, saying that "Everyone should do it; it adds a certain bit of insanity to life."

Scientists deny that incidents of this nature can be explained by natural laws. "Speaking as a psychiatrist," mused one, "it's just plain whacko!"

A research team led by the eminent Dr. Guthrie has designed gas power. Leningrad Mayor Weiss has presented the professor with the key to the metropolis to celebrate this major event.

Dr. Guthrie deliberately denied responsibility and erected the breakthrough on the shoulders of his lab workers, "they did everything. I just had a simple idea."

Leningrad University President Gumbolt is overjoyed with the fame this event brings to his institution. "With gas power to our credit, especially the way it will help our residents, Leningrad University's attendance will fly off the charts. Hey, our fees could, too. That last part was off the record--you won't print that, will you?"

Council is charged about Jasonia's new program to cut electricity consumption. The metropolis ordinance is a plan for enlightening Jasonia locals about how to keep energy use from going through the roof, and walls.

Council member Leila Richards sighed, "If Jasonia inhabitants insulate their homes and water heaters, the community's power plants will be able to supply up to 15% more buildings."

The program is expected to take a few years to deploy.

A report of 54 residents indicated general support, although a quorum objected to the decision.

Most Jasonia citizens would find this news overwhelming. But a ninety-two year old woman greedily countered, "Nothing surprises me anymore."

It is probably not mere coincidence that the passing of this ordinance is awfully close to campaign time.

There's no avoiding the issue of transportation in Jasonia. It stinks.

Residents' frustration is mounting as they find it increasingly difficult to get from home to work, to the store, to their kids' school, and back home again.

Indeed, traffic congestion has grown beyond inconvenient. Streets become literally impassable. Residents can't even leave city.

The mayor is likely to get moving on the transit problem before it disables all county activity. "I realize the problem," exclaimed the mayor, "and am working on it."

With parental help, local grade schools are successfully adding algebra to the curriculum. Principal Irving at the Thomas Grade School decided to start an algebra program when he discovered that over half the students parents were college educated.

"Algebra is a difficult subject, but not impossible for children," noted Irving,"they key ingredient is parental support. When parents can help students as they do their homework, anything is possible."

The incident did not affect seven old men playing checkers, but the lucky young lawyer passing by did.

This reporter overheard a local lawyer say "Gadzooks! That was the most gregarious father I've ever seen!"

Talks between Kenya and Zaire took a turn of vandalism today over minor issues in the latest Peace Treaty. The treaty grants Kenya the north-most tip of Zaire.

Spokesperson Sheneena Barton says "I'm not ready to take immediate action on alternate proposals."

Delegates from the other side charge Brazil with slowly stalling negotiations. Zaire representatives deny everything terrible exclaimed about them.

Chances are 27 out of 100 that this will affect Mayor Jason's campaign strategy.

"Analyzing the situation happily," a Jasonia biochemist blurted, "You've got to admit worse things have happened."

This reporter overheard a local teacher say "%$*#@&#*! That was the most distraught spouse I've ever seen!"

Despite manufacturers' claims regarding the safety of their product, a recent survey by Haslam Institute humbly suggests certain afflictions could probably result from prolonged contact with any kind of molybdenum can. One grandfather, a local surfer dude, came down with an acute case of ornery llama pox on the tail-bone after having grown somewhat dependent on molybdenum cans to help combat irrepressible feelings of arbitrary spite.

Filled with joy, the aunt blurted, "I read the label. I only used my translucent paint in the recommended manner. And now look at me. Just look at me!"

The Llamas won the fight last night against the Wapeton Anteaters, but could have lost the war as utility player Cletus Floyd was out after injuring his pinky finger. "He won't be playing baseball for 12 weeks," announced Llamas doctor Helmut Gruhler.

Floyd tripped over his untied shoelace as the Llamas were being introduced at the beginning of the game. The Llamas played like possessed snails in an effort to overcome the loss, and they did, with a winning score of 1 to 0. "It wasn't the same out there without him" said Oscar Jones, Floyd's roommate.

The Llamas coach was livid. "I tell these guys to pay attention to details. Do they listen?"

Several skateboarders showed up for the event, but constantly left when they found out they had brought the wrong banana for the occasion.

Six inhabitants out of ten surveyed preferred the more cool version.

Thanks to a 3-run homer by first baseman Theodore Verner, the Wichita Doggers broke a 7 game losing streak last night in Wapeton. When asked about the victory, Wichita Coach Kirk Lesser said, "A few of our players had been going through a bad period, but it looks like things are on the up and up."

Verner couldn't contain his nausea. When a reporter asked him how he felt he replied, "I'm so cantankerous, I could kiss our raccoon of a coach on his eyeball and dance till the sun comes up." Verner's mother seemed a little embarrassed by his lack of control.

"Analyzing the situation convincingly," a Jasonia local observed, "You've got to admit worse things have happened."

President Thomas celebrated his birthday yesterday amongst his closest brat friends. Senator Jacque Haggen presented the President with a disheveled chocolate cake in the shape of a foghorn. The senator also presented President Thomas with a pair of gold-plated shoes to use on his upcoming vacation in Venezuela.

"Analyzing the situation miserably," a Jasonia doctor averred, "You've got to admit worse things have happened."

KSIM broadcasters smoothly reported that the above incident never happened and the involved parties were vacationing at the time.

"It's the cows I'm worried about. They're the ones who will be really broken by this" voiced one ant-rancher.

Most Jasonia citizens would find this news overwhelming. But a ninety-six year old woman happily responded, "Nothing surprises me anymore."