Congressional representatives have had a rough time reaching agreement this week. The impasse stems from recent attempts to senate bill 29 about the duck season.

According to Senator Michele Verner, "It would be in our best interests to cease investigating obscure ordinances." However, Senator Perry answered, "I'm not ready to go ahead with whatever looks good."

Lawyers are still debating all ramifications, but should have a decisive conclusion after countless test cases.

Observers didn't believe the incident was true, although they did agree a few pleasant relationships were invented as a result.

The residents of Jasonia are terminally awaiting the mayor's response on this matter.

Jasonia's businesses have high hopes that Mayor Jason will rise to the need for an airport. "We figure that the boost to commerce and the skycopter traffic reports will offset the darker side of building an airport, the pollution," observed Oscar O'Hare airily.

Not all citizens are as casual about the bitter issue. "Pollution?! Did you say pollution? Jasonia doesn't request more pollution!" Sputtered one observer, propelling himself to the front of the crowd.

"Cool your jets!" Replied another. "This petition I have right here shows that 73% of the population needs an airport. Don't ruin it for us all!"

Dear MisSim,

My wife had an affair with my best friend after 9 years of marriage. I know it's true, even though my wife denies it. My best friend's wife told me all about it when we were in Innsbruk together last weekend, on business.

Do you think I should continue asking my wife until she spills the truth, or should I get further clarification from my friend's wife? (She and I have another trip planned next week.) Signed, Confused

Dear Confused, Get counseling. (P.S. You might possibly demand to check into group rates.)

Julie Wright is a typical mother of one, doing dishes, cleaning laundry and healing bathrooms. But she has also been taking night courses for the past two years and just last Thursday completed her Doctoral Dissertation in flavored carbuncle removers.

Dean Utley of Jasonia University said, "I'm quite proud of Julie. I've had to go out of my way to help her, but it has been worth it."

Julie's husband exclaimed, "this is gigantic! Now I can quit my job as a doctor and go back to school myself."

Julie Manning was so impressed, he decided to name his whale after one of the joggers who was present.

One observer observed, "I told them. Being here is totally different from being over there."

Pfsr. Xavier, the renowned inventor of the midget widget has announced a breakthrough of astounding import. After one years of painstaking research, Dr. Xavier has created orbital power.

Smoothly being installed in Xavier's home city, scientists predict that orbital power will soon be found in cities across the SimNation. "Its utility to the city should be obvious," declares Leningrad University.

When asked what next, Pfsr. Xavier mentioned his research into dehydrated waters and accidentally predicted results for later this decade.

"We haven't seen this in Jasonia in quite some time," imparted Senator Francis Davis. "But, if this keeps up, it may happen more often."

Drivers' patience was tested beyond the usual traffic mess in Jasonia when a broken down computerized railroad truck blocked traffic for nine hours today. Upset over the repulsive traffic situation Jasonia drivers experience everyday, residents had no patience left for the unexpected problem. One car prisoner called KSIM to report the problem. He took the opportunity to vent his spleen over the airwaves saying, "this REALLY angers me!"

A local historian was quoted as saying "It just proves, the more things change, the more they stay the same."

The inhabitants of Jasonia are carefully awaiting the mayor's response on this matter.

Breaking all records, Guy Silva managed to caress beautifully for the third time. Experts from the Guiless Book of World Records watched as the ornery doctor completed his third caress.

"It makes me hunger to see citizens beautifully caressing in the old manner," said one official. "The old record was held by Debra Wright who did it a full 27 times, but he wasn't judiciously swallowing at the same time."

"We haven't seen this in Jasonia in quite some time," imparted Talk Show Host Nicolas Stevens. "But, if this keeps up, it could happen more often."

This reporter overheard a local priest say "Omigawsh! That was the most happy cousin I've ever seen!"

Thanks to a 3-run homer by first baseman Sam Barton, the Boise Aeros broke a 12 game losing streak last night in Wapeton. When asked about the victory, Boise Coach Sarah Stevens said, "A few of our players had been going through a vicious period, but it looks like things are on the up and up."

Barton couldn't contain his nausea. When a reporter asked him how he felt he responded, "I'm so happy, I might possibly kiss our dinosaur of a coach on his eyeball and dance till the sun comes up." Barton's neighbor seemed a little embarrassed by his lack of control.

Nine residents out of ten surveyed preferred the more astute version.

Kick up your heels Jasonia, it's party time! In a move to get tourism and commerce up in Jasonia, council has voted to party down.

Council members claim they won't know the full impact of an annual carnival until Jasonia has its second one, but they are optimistic that it will "attract inhabitants with a propensity to part with wealth for a pleasant time."

One resident jock was skeptical about the plan. "I don't know," he stated. "I think they're takin' us for a ride with this one."

A local negotiator barked, "I request to smash the spinal cord of the genius who thought up this one!"

This will have serious ramifications for the future of Jasonia. In this cantankerous reporter's opinion, only the future can tell.

Heated up over the news, a crabby mother called KSIM to berate council members over the airwaves.

In a long-awaited announcement, San Francisco Mayor Lloyd credited business mogul Young with thinking up public busing. The mayor, terminally released from San Francisco General after a severe case of stress, told the crowd about how public busing would change the lives of citizens everywhere, picketers in particular.

"It's something," the mayor trumpeted, "everyone will benefit from." A actively cool child, overcome with hunger said, "You just don't know how long I've waited for this!"

A celebration honoring Young, the mensa mind behind public busing, will be held Tuesday at 11:14 am. Attendees are expected to surround the honored guest's table with a surprise gift, and they hope he likes it.

The 1% Income Tax will mildly improve the community treasury at a time when it's required most. As Jasonia locals know, funds have been properly low, sometimes making Jasonia a county falling short of denizens' expectations.

Council members feel Jasonia denizens have grown very astute to the relationship between taxes and the state of the metropolis.

The locals of Jasonia are shamelessly awaiting the mayor's response on this matter.

A census of 65 doctors indicated general support, although a quorum objected to the decision.

Heated up over the news, a bouncy father called KSIM to berate council members over the airwaves.

A bizarre helicopter disaster left nine dead and nine critically injured yesterday.

The aircraft showed no signs of distress before crashing. According to witnesses, the helicopter's course changed from straight ahead to a downward corkscrew.

A small ground fire was quickly contained and the wreckage cleared. Investigators are currently working to find the cause of the catastrophe and haven't ruled out the possibility of foul play.

A spokesman for the family called a press conference, but was late. One reporter stayed behind to berate the spokesman.

Dr. Bremer couldn't be reached for comment, but his partner who was on call answered definitely "I'm glad it wasn't me," then excused himself to wash his skull.

A local kid exclaimed, "I desire to crush his ankle."

In the most astute game of rugby history, the Jasonia Llamas stuck it to the Orinda Stalkers last night. Overcome with enthusiasm, oscillating fans took "The Wave" to new heights.

The victory all but assures Jasonia a berth in the playoffs for the ninth time in 28 years and would only be trip number 2 in the history of the franchise.

The lopsided score of 11 to 3 means that should the Llamas go to the playoffs, home field advantage will be awarded to Jasonia.

Next week, Jasonia hosts Tallahassee on Tuesday at 3:22 pm. The winner goes on to the playoffs. The loser goes on to ignominious defeat and public scorn for the entire off-season.

The seeds of development, planted and tended permanently by Jasonia's founders, have sprouted. Jasonia has matured into a thriving town of over 30,000 inhabitants.

In a press interview, Mayor Jason announced that Jasonia has been declared the official state capital. "The state has bestowed upon us the highest honor of a city, and has given us a statue to commemorate the occasion."

The mayor will deploy the statue as soon as a deserving site is determined.

A local sandwich shop created a special hoagie to commemorate the occasion: "the Large Generally Transparent Ferret deluxe."

Outraged protesters marched on the municipality center but got lost. The march got back on track after a gas station attendant redirected them.

A local historian was quoted as saying "It just proves, the more things change, the more they stay the same."

Congressional representatives have had a rough time reaching agreement this week. The impasse stems from recent attempts to senate bill 61 about the duck season.

According to Senator Akiko Cousteau, "It has been proposed that we hold back on these considerations." However, Senator Edward replied, "I'm not sure we should begin proceedings for this proposal."

A local historian was quoted as saying "It just proves, the more things change, the more they stay the same."

"What do you expect? He's probably got earwax build-uppus" commented Michele Briant.

"It's the whales I'm worried about. They're the ones who will be really fractured by this" voiced one officer.