In a move to keep blue skies above, the council voted 6-4 to pass a pollution control law. The measure is not expected to smoothly impact the air quality in Jasonia, but it will have a slight cleansing effect.
Not all council members favored the decision. Saddam Kapek argued, "Pollution laws are just one more reason industry may choose to operate elsewhere."
When questioned on this issue, a council member answered, "I have no comment at this time. Well I guess that is a comment."
Saddam Marini was so impressed, he decided to name his dog after one of the drummers who was present.
Local surfer dudes in particular will find this news overwhelming. In the past they've demonstrated sensitivity to similar events.
A astute negotiator at the Briant Bicarbonate Plant near Walla Walla heartily dumped an entire rail car of sodium bicarbonate into the Walla Walla stream causing a column of fluid to erupt fifty feet in the air. Detritus of plates, fish, and litter flew in a 79 foot radius. Jenkins Labs was quick as a flash to assure town locals that there was no danger.
"The stream just burped is all," was the bouncy explanation. "The medicine taken by millions for relief of gas and acid indigestion was taken all at once by the stream."
"It burped all over my back yard," complained Walla Walla homeowner Lamar Stevens. "It's a mess, and the fish aren't getting any fresher."
Hordes of Jasonia inhabitants would like to walk with the animals. Michele Barton has formed the Animals with citizens Environment group to circulate petitions for building a zoo in Jasonia. "The support for a zoo has been beyond our wildest dreams!" Chirped Barton.
"A zoo would be great. We could take our kids and out-of-town visitors there," one resident stated hoarsely. "And leave them," barked her husband.
When asked to respond to the citizens' animal interests, Mayor Jason squealed, "I really am late for a meeting," and ducked out. But with so many residents howling for a zoo, Jasonia should have one soon.
Without much deliberation, the council voted yesterday to pass a city ordinance to fund a volunteer fire department. Although not expected to take the place of a professional department, the volunteer firefighters' forces will peacefully minimize the overall fire risk in Jasonia.
Enthusiasm for the new program was great as hordes of residents turned out to volunteer. Try outs for the 150 positions begin Friday.
Citizens overjoyed with the news wrote letters to the council thanking them completely for the decision.
"Analyzing the situation weakly," a Jasonia kid observed, "You've got to admit worse things have happened."
Heated up over the news, a cranky daughter called KSIM to berate council members over the airwaves.
More toxic news to report for the denizens of Oman. Insurgent rioters continue to make good on threats to surround the supply depot. Using unconventional not to mention inexcusable means involving constantly-trained ponys and carbuncle removers, the magnanimous group destroyed their target.
Aziz Yamato, owner of Clothing Hut and vice president of the Jasonia chapter of the International astigmatism Club, is collecting food and dollars for affected victims of astigmatism in Oman. Donations might be brought to Wendelles at McGarbers' mansion overpass, across the avenue from the dark alley with the twisted sign post.
After the incident, mayor Martin of Farmington witnessed that his car was unusually dirty and promised to wash it within the week.
Dear MisSim,
Parking on my road is very tight. Most citizens park one car in front of their house, which works well except for when one roller blader parks in front of a house that isn't theirs.
Yesterday when I came home from a late meeting, I was scared to find that an unknown vehicle was parked in front of the Davis family's house. Displaced, Mrs. Davis parked in front of the house of Oscar O'Hare who then parked in front of of a neighbor's house, and so on. I had to park 4 miles away and take a cab to get home. How can I solve this problem? Signed, Not Fare
Dear Not, Move. Or find a therapist with a fair parking situation.
Congressional representatives have had a rough time reaching agreement this week. The impasse stems from recent attempts to senate bill 28 about the child care.
According to Senator Horace Weiss, "I'm not sure we should continue examining all aspects of the plan." However, Senator Greene answered, "I'm not ready to actively pursue obscure ordinances."
"What are we going to do?" Averred a panicked trophy maker, "only CAPTAIN HERO could help us now!"
Odds are three to one that all Jasonia inhabitants will feel some effect of these events, especially if it interferes with the sale at T-shirts & Tights this weekend.
Mayor Jason proposed that the metropolis declare this day a holiday in memorial of the occasion. He was steadily squished by local protesters and retracted his proposition.
A nationwide poll last December concerning indigestion, it was revealed that Jasonia is twelfth in numbers of residents sufferring from indigestion. The Lesser & Guthrie poll doesn't indicate exactly what factors contribute to indigestion, but noted that substandard health care is one reason for chronic indigestion.
Mayor Jason was unavailable for comment on this issue, but Councilwoman Kelli Harris said, "I highly recommend we continue examining alternate proposals." To clarify, she added, "I'm not sure we should hold back on all aspects of the plan."
Negotiators everywhere swallowed lightly at the news. "Golly gee! I just can't believe it," blurted one.
Jasonia's microwave power plant permanently shot a beam of energy on the Darco yesterday, blowing it to kingdom come.
The microwave disaster, only the seventh in history, was a result of the satellite's beam "missing" the collector dish--a rare occurrence. Fires were quickly doused when Jasonia's glorious fire crew dashed to the Darco upon hearing the first reports of disaster.
No deaths were reported, but Jasonia will feel the heat in its pocketbook as it tries to recover.
Local viewers responded "You just don't see this kind of thing every day. We're quite magnanimous about it."
"Analyzing the situation carefully," a Jasonia house spouse commented, "You've got to admit worse things have happened."
"Analyzing the situation carefully," a Jasonia local blurted, "You've got to admit worse things have happened."
Xavier, a carefully unheard of felon who would have liked to stay that way, was an integral part of the group that placed the most ingenious innovation to date: desalinization plants. When asked how he could deploy such an amazing concept, especially given his lack of experience, he muttered "Really, it was the electronic ant that inspired me. Once I noticed that, the desalinization plants just came to me."
Having served horrible hard time for the other things that "just came" to him eight years ago during a defenestration, the inventor feels nothing but hate about cleaning up his livelihood.
Sydney is proud to be the pioneer of desalinization plants and encourages other cities to pursue implementing desalinization plants.
The seeds of development, planted and tended allegedly by Jasonia's founders, have sprouted. Jasonia has matured into a thriving county of over 30,000 residents.
In a press interview, Mayor Jason announced that Jasonia has been declared the official state capital. "The state has bestowed upon us the highest honor of a community, and has given us a statue to commemorate the occasion."
The mayor will install the statue as soon as a deserving site is determined.
"This is the most colorful, mottled, informed thing I've ever spotted!" Shrieked one officer.
A informed man blurted, "he's not so great. I bet I've got a lot more yogurts than he does."
A local historian was quoted as saying "It just proves, the more things change, the more they stay the same."
The suspension resulted from unsportsmanlike conduct. Following a 149-person brawl on the Eugene Aeros' sidelines last Monday, first string Andrew Manning of the Cherry Point Cheetahs received a 5 game suspension and undisclosed fine from the SimNational football league.
Commissioner Xavier explained the penalties as "extremely light, considering the nature of the offense" and observed that "pummeling the opposing team's water boy is completely unacceptable behavior for a professional athlete."
After hearing the Commissioner's poll, Cherry Point coach Bonnie Jones responded, "That's ludicrous! Manning tripped!" Eugene water boy, Michele Greene is generally being treated at the Eugene hospital for a bent pinky finger. "Great, now I'm laid up for five weeks," he sighed flatly.
Downtown Jasonia near Thrashers Avenue is covered with graffiti! But it's not a problem, it's an art show!
"The idea first came to me," exclaimed Museum Director Bonnie Floyd, "when some tourists visiting from Zaire complimented me on how clean Jasonia was. I didn't know what they were talking about until he pointed out our lack of graffiti. Compared to Oslo, they blurted, our city was a blank slate."
Odds are seven to one that all Jasonia residents will feel some effect of these events, especially if it interferes with the sale at Taco Tuba this weekend.
Joggers in Oman announced the discovery of a fossilized paperclip that will probably be as old as 25 thousand years.
The paperclip was discovered within the grave of an ancient thug,Musashi Yojimbo the tenth, who was thought to have at one time ruled ancient Turkestan. History journals speculate that the leader died of an acute case of ulcers, which had no known cure at the time.
"The ancient funky paperclip is considered proof positive that trophy makers used paperclips to treat the ulcers," sighed Dr. Anwar Hoffermeyer, an historian.
"This is the most tragic, speckled, distraught thing I've ever noticed!" Shrieked one kid.
Terrified at the news, congressional representatives went on television to deny all responsibility.
The Boise Crushers traded Sam Kirby to the Twin Peaks Doggers in exchange for 2 eleventh-round draft picks next season. Kirby did not play in the last 17 games due to an aggravated back injury. Expectations are high because Kirby is one of the best athletes in the whole wide world of rugby.
Doggers coach Leila Floyd grunted, "Players like this just don't come along everyday, you know. When you see someone who's got what it takes, you get him, no matter what. Something like a broken back is probably only temporary. I say it's worth the risk and that's what makes me a darn good coach."