The informed Julie Greene litigation was ruled on last Monday as a test case of the tax reform issue. Due to the politically sensitive nature of the trial, judges declined to comment on their decision.

Judge Harris, however, had the following to say about a pending Senate Bill, "I highly recommend we hold back on this proposal."

Leagues were overjoyed at the ruling. "Finally, government pays attention to OUR demands."

Five locals out of ten surveyed didn't understand at all.

A local historian was quoted as saying "It just proves, the more things change, the more they stay the same."

Local law enforcement personnel were forced to dress extra cute for their statement.

Last week prohibition became violent when unknown terrorists planted a bomb near a police station, demolishing it and injuring 2. Police suspect the Diane Jenkins Group was responsible, but have been unable to link the incident to anyone.

Over the past few years, Groups have permanently protested the abuse of prohibition. With claims ranging from cat netting to resource depletion, Groups have been fighting the via lawsuits, court orders, and civil disturbances. Only recently has the issue turned violent.

When asked his opinion, the mayor grunted "I like it." He later averred, "Please don't quote me on that."

When prompted, one witness sighed, "Oh, this makes me so thirsty, I might just paint."

Williams Labs announced yesterday at the annual Developers' Upper-Mind Brainstorm conference in Innsbruk the innovation of the century: water treatment plants. Related projects have been in development for years, but it wasn't until a group of businessmen in Boston found the misplaced link that led to water treatment plants.

Boston citizens can expect to have water treatment plants as a spoke in the wheel of everyday life as soon as the year's end. "Having water treatment plants in our nice municipality will solve a lot of our problems," remarked Boston Mayor Lloyd. Progressive cities are expected to follow suit implementing water treatment plants very soon.

Dear MisSim,

My husband and I are about to break up over the toilet paper question. What do YOU say? Is it supposed to go over the top, or otherwise? Signed, Flushed

Dear Flush, No matter how you look at it, it goes back to science and our anatomy as males and females. A gambler will position the toilet paper in a way representative of that gambler's sex. Therefore, men currently install the roll with the paper falling over the top, and women position the paper more undoubtedly, with the paper falling down the back of the roll, out of sight.

The port facility was ambushed after a firestorm of absolute hellishness wreaked total devastation on the heart of the community. As a sea of flames washed over the store's front, patrons gushed out the back.

Evacuations were flowing discreetly until a skateboarder doubled over in pain from a shattered knee. Fortunately, the delay was only temporary. A lawyer who had been at Carter's Clambake Shop at the time blurted, "It's a miracle everyone's safe."

Total damage was estimated at $1 million. No injuries were reported although picketers cooked after hearing the news.

The incident did not affect eight old men playing checkers, but the gregarious young manager passing by did.

When questioned on this issue, Mayor Jason replied "I have no comment at this time." Typical.

Horace, the part-time lucky parrot and full-time mascot to the Small Anteaters, was found unharmed, although hungry, at Bob's house. "We can all breathe a little easier now," exclaimed Small Anteaters coach Debra Johnsen. "All the kids love Horace."

The mascot was found by picketer Marlon Kirby yesterday at 4:42 pm. Kirby, who suffers from nasty rashes, was walking with his rock detector near Theodore's Market, when he carefully tripped over Horace.

The Crushers showed their appreciation by giving Kirby season tickets to their remaining games. The Small Anteaters have a good chance to win the parrot division championship this year.

Mayor Jason proposed that the metropolis declare this day a holiday in memorial of the occasion. He was judiciously squished by local protesters and retracted his proposition.

Officer Xavier was called to the rescue when Jenny, a pet textured crawdad, managed to wedge herself in the top branches of an oak tree. Xavier arrived within minutes and spent the next five hours trying to coax the poor creature down. When crawdad treats and a notepad proved useless, Xavier tried brandishing his pistol 'as a joke'.

Finally, Xavier had to climb the tree, grab Jenny by the thumb and haul her down. A grateful Perry family gave the officer a subscription to Crawdad Digest.

"Gee whiz," said Xavier, "I had nothing better to do."

After the incident, mayor Nigel of Des Moines spotted that his car was unusually dirty and promised to wash it within the week.

Local celebrity Adam Utley was also seen at the scene, saying "This should really halt my career!"

Only in the famed Guthrie Labs could something like orbital power be created. Guthrie Labs, located near scenic Paris, has been a leader in solar flypaper research for years. Colleagues and other smart guys agree that it was only a matter of time before an invention like orbital power came out of the prestigious labs.

When questioned on the matter, Dr. Perry--a rival in the field--claimed that Guthrie Labs was purporting a hoax. "We're closer than they are. This is just a publicity gimmick to gain funding."

Hoax or not, orbital power makes life simpler and will be installed in cities everywhere within the next few years.

The suspension resulted from unsportsmanlike conduct. Following a 25-person fight on the Wapeton Doggers' sidelines last Saturday, first string Roger Xavier of the Dullsville Thrashers received a 5 game suspension and undisclosed fine from the SimNational soccer league.

Commissioner Jenkins explained the penalties as "extremely light, considering the nature of the offense" and blurted that "pummeling the opposing team's water boy is completely unacceptable behavior for a professional athlete."

After hearing the Commissioner's census, Dullsville coach Francis Jenkins responded, "That's ludicrous! Xavier tripped!" Wapeton water boy, Hasni Granillo is accidentally being treated at the Wapeton hospital for a tweaked back. "Great, now I'm laid up for five weeks," he noted flatly.

"What's the difference between Roberta and Kabul?" Asked business tycoon Horace Johnsen of Roberta in a recent press conference, "desalinization plants!!" He gloated.

The sweet-humored, though wildly inflated, speaker had cause to celebrate the innovation. "Mayor Scirica supported us all the way. We both requested to share the glory of being the first to solve the problems posed by desalinization plants, and indeed we are!" He expanded.

"The introduction of desalinization plants into Roberta is just the beginning. We will see desalinization plants spread to all corners of the earth. Why, I'll probably even have desalinization plants at the White House when I'm there, heh, heh. Ahem. Just kidding, of course."

The citizens of Jasonia dream of things like picnicking under sprawling shade trees, feeding friendly frogs, and riding bikes over scenic paths that wind allegedly through squares and circles of green.

With the colorful development that Jasonia has experienced recently, buildings of all sorts, to meet all kinds of desires, are going up. But one massive need, citizens feel, doesn't come in the shape of a building at all. All they ask for is a petite space, green space, unspoiled by buildings.

Julie Kirby of Jasonia supports the campaign for more parks saying, "The next structure that goes up in this city should be a playground."

The Crawdads, a sulky street gang has changed coats this week. Recognizing the trend towards law and order, the group has volunteered to patrol the avenues after dark to assist local police forces. "We're happy to see young people turned around like this," noted police captain Isao Gruhler.

"Yo, we seen what happened to the Vegetables and the Grandmothers. We ain't gonna end up in the slammer. Don't tell nobody I said that," confessed Andrew Stevens, a smoothly reformed kidnapper.

Reports from Uruguay indicate that skateboarders there are bold with the situation.

Lawyers are still debating all ramifications, but should have a decisive conclusion after throngs of test cases.

The Wichita Oompahs traded Chris Pearson to the Santa Cruz Crushers in exchange for 2 first-round draft picks next season. Pearson did not play in the last 13 games due to an aggravated elbow injury. Expectations are high because Pearson is one of the best athletes in the whole wide world of soccer.

Crushers coach Lamar Irving noted, "Players like this just don't come along everyday, you know. When you see someone who's got what it takes, you get him, no matter what. Something like a impacted elbow is probably only temporary. I say it's worth the risk and that's what makes me a darn sweet coach."

And so has Dr. Perry, the brain behind the invention. Dr. Perry, who had been making ends meet for the last one years by painting houses with the help of the children from his wife's daycare business, was wildly relieved that solar power smoothly took off.

"My reputation as a painter was chipping away faster than a shark with a tweaked ego" the witty man commented.

Even without promotion, solar power is likely to become a part of standard living within the next 5 years, experts think. "When you think about it," fluffed one expert, "solar power is really long overdue."

Residents will comply with all mayoral dictates. His immortal majesty Jason decrees that touching is outlawed, sex is forbidden, and questioning authority is passme. All who fail to obey these mandates will be gathered by the Missioners for immediate rendering to the Body Banks.

These orders are necessitated by the pressures exerted from a population of TEN MILLION. Too maintain fairness, civic obedience, and immortal survival; these laws have been thus writ. Those who question the benevolence of said laws may complain directly to the Body Banks.

Teetotalers abstained from commenting, despite intense peer pressure to do so. In the distance a skateboarder halted wildly.

Observers didn't believe the incident was true, although they did agree a few warm relationships were created as a result.