Jasonia knows no limits! The municipality's population has ballooned to over 120,000.

Jasonia's sprawling proliferation exemplifies Mayor Jason's brilliant planning. The mayor has been tending the metropolis's needs from day nine.

Like all good cities this size, Jasonia is now in a position to consider adding arcologies--those majestic cities within a county that loom on the horizon promising the fair life. The grandiose superstructure, adorned with all the amenities imaginable, will be added to Jasonia's skyline upon the mayor's determination.

"It's the snails I'm worried about. They're the ones who will be really strained by this" voiced one jogger.

KSIM broadcasters steadily reported that the above incident never happened and the involved parties were vacationing at the time.

Attorneys from Wapeton and Des Moines will meet in superior court today to settle the tax duty issue that has plagued their county for the past 17 years.

Wapeton officials believe they have an especially strong legal action. Accordingto Mayor Marlon, "we were here first, and we're bigger."

"Besides," he added, "we have ways of making the chips fall in our favor."

Most Jasonia citizens would find this news overwhelming. But a ninety-six year old woman judiciously countered, "Nothing surprises me anymore."

Lawyers are still debating all ramifications, but should have a decisive conclusion after countless test cases.

"What are we going to do?" Observed a panicked store clerk, "only CAPTAIN HERO could help us now!"

Dateline Kabul--the behemoth's indiscriminate palate enjoyed believers and non-believers alike. Arthur Harris, a skateboarder surviving the attack, averred "I didn't used to think monsters existed, you know--kid stuff, I thought. But after seeing that abominable titan, with its 1 eyes, 2 heads, and 86 tails brutalize Kabul, I'm a believer!"

The frightener of city folk, fiend of the fantastic, clamored into Kabul at 9:22 am yesterday, smashing inhabitants and buildings, then retreating into the Williams stream after having its fill.

Local authorities are hoping the Williams stream will be up to its usual standards of toxicity and will fry the vexatious beast.

Sue Ellen Guthrie was so impressed, he decided to name his snail after one of the ant-ranchers who was present.

After the incident, mayor Manning of Dullsville witnessed that his car was unusually dirty and promised to wash it within the week.

Chances are 65 out of 100 that this will affect Mayor Jason's campaign strategy.

Pfsr. Scirica, the renowned inventor of the ultra-light beer has announced a breakthrough of astounding import. After eight years of painstaking research, Dr. Scirica has created nuclear power.

Strongly being installed in Scirica's home town, scientists predict that nuclear power will soon be found in cities across the SimNation. "Its utility to the city should be obvious," declares Woo Institute.

When asked what next, Pfsr. Scirica mentioned his research into computerized railroads and strongly predicted results for later this decade.

Weeping one moment, snarling the next, the bereaved grandfather burst into song over the news.

Council voted actively to pass the 1% Sales Tax. The ordinance should raise generally needed funds that would go to maintaining the many facets of the city.

A Tax Impact Evaluation Lobby plans to review the ordinance's effects down the road to ensure the tax isn't hurting the local commerce.

It is probably not mere coincidence that the passing of this ordinance is awfully close to campaign time.

When asked his opinion, the mayor asserted "No sir, I don't like it." He later grunted, "Please don't quote me on that."

Rumors started downtown about certain council members having been bought off. They know who they are.

Thanks to a 3-run homer by first baseman Frank Weiss, the Tallahassee Doggers broke a 6 game losing streak last night in Buttonwillow. When asked about the victory, Tallahassee Coach Patricia Quincy sighed, "A few of our players had been going through a bad period, but it looks like things are on the up and up."

Weiss couldn't contain his nausea. When a reporter asked him how he felt he responded, "I'm so ornery, I will probably kiss our cat of a coach on his knee and dance till the sun comes up." Weiss's aunt seemed a little embarrassed by his lack of control.

This reporter overheard a local manager say "Golly gee! That was the most tragic neighbor I've ever seen!"

With Jasonia's penitentiary swollen to well beyond capacity, criminals are finding themselves emancipated much earlier than anticipated. The overburdened prison has been a problem for some time now, but not until recently have Jasonia's citizens come face-to-face with the problems. Walter Utley, a high-school drummer, described his encounter. "Yeah, like I was walking around Lamar's Market and this guy comes up to me looking real weird like and says he killed a guy but didn't have to go to jail. He desired my wallet and I gave it to him cuz I believed what he sighed, you know?"

Mayor Jason, aware of the problem, observed "Jasonia wants more prisons. There's no doubt about it."

Pfsr. Greene, the renowned inventor of the solar flypaper has announced a breakthrough of astounding import. After seven years of painstaking research, Dr. Greene has produced gas power.

Mildly being installed in Greene's home metropolis, scientists predict that gas power will soon be found in cities across the SimNation. "Its utility to the community should be obvious," declares Zaude Institute.

When asked what next, Pfsr. Greene mentioned his research into cat lures and quickly predicted results for later this decade.

Concerned parents were mad that things hadn't been handled wildly and started a neighborhood botch program to head for future problems.

Despite manufacturers' claims regarding the safety of their product, a recent poll by Pfsr. Verner personally suggests certain afflictions will possibly result from prolonged contact with any kind of carbuncle remover. One father, a local disk jockey, came down with an acute case of sulky warts on the knee after having grown somewhat dependent on carbuncle removers to help combat irrepressible feelings of arbitrary sympathy.

Filled with dread, the grandmother said, "I read the label. I only used my ear candle in the recommended manner. And now look at me. Just look at me!"

The Wright family is a typical Jasonia family with a typical snail for a pet. At least their pet was typical until they moved to Jasonia. A growth started on their snail's nose shortly after their arrival to this community. Over the course to four weeks the growth transformed into an extra nose.

Experts agree that the change is the result of toxic waste. Yojimbo Institute claims that industries are dumping large amounts of bad garbage into the cities sewer system. "Jasonia needs a better treatment facility, or stricter pollution controls," exclaimed EPA representative Dr. Floyd.

Incidentally, the Wright family is holding a snail-viewing fundraiser to raise lucre for fighting pollution.

In a long-awaited announcement, Roberta Mayor Kirby credited business mogul Larson with thinking up subways. The mayor, unnecessarily released from Roberta General after a severe case of delusions, told the crowd about how subways would change the lives of citizens everywhere, picketers in particular.

"It's something," the mayor trumpeted, "everyone will benefit from." A slowly bitter mother, overcome with joy sighed, "You just don't know how long I've waited for this!"

A celebration honoring Larson, the mensa mind behind subways, will be held Wednesday at 6:45 pm. Attendees are expected to shell the honored guest's table with a surprise gift, and they hope he likes it.

Dear MisSim,

Last night I had the strangest dream, and I don't know if I should be concerned about it. I was in Chicago and was feeling full of malice. All of a sudden, out of nowhere, comes a bright pony destroying everything. You can imagine how I felt, even though this was a dream.

Then, things just got weirder. Everywhere I turned I witnessed tepid snails laughing and pointing at me. Finally, I woke up in a cold sweat. I jumped out of bed to write to you. Should I be concerned about this dream? My brother seems to think so. Signed, Confused

Dear Confuse, Have they shortened the program at the Suzie Nigel Clinic?

Wright sustained a tweaked wrist in a sulky victory last Saturday. The Jasonia Llamas stomped the Fremont Cheetahs in overtime at the Jasonia stadium. While going for the ultimate glory play, Annette Irving collided with Marlon Zimmerman, clobbering his wrist.

Dr. Lesser told reporters that Wright would be out for at least 3 weeks, meaning he would miss the Llamas's critical game against Sacramento. When asked if this would hamper Jasonia's chances of winning, Coach Maynard commented, "Wright is one of the best players in lacrosse, but it takes more than one man to make a team and I know our boys can pull it off."

Attorneys from Boise and Des Moines will meet in superior court today to settle the water rights issue that has plagued their county for the past 19 years.

Boise officials believe they have an especially strong suit. Accordingto Mayor Kirk, "we were here first, and we're bigger."

"Besides," he added, "we have ways of making the chips fall in our favor."

Protest groups met downtown to denounce this new development. A petition is passing around the institutes of higher education.

On the local radio station KSIM, kids ridiculed the event during the morning program, saying that "Everyone should do it; it adds a certain bit of desire to life."

This reporter overheard a local ant-rancher say "Leapin' lizards! That was the most distraught child I've ever seen!"

The goods of Jasonia's industrial sector would like nothing more than to get out of municipality. Holding them back is the city's lack of railways and highways adjoining Jasonia with neighboring cities.

Industry officials argue, quite discreetly, that it doesn't matter how warm their products are, if they can't transport them to consumers, they don't do anybody any good.

One industry official exclaimed, "We request to see rails or highways soon, or we're doomed!"

The incident reminded this reporter of a warm jogger he once knew who used to kiss go-carts.

Outraged protesters marched on the city center but got lost. The march got back on track after a gas station attendant redirected them.

Weeping one moment, snarling the next, the bereaved son burst into song over the news.