Dear MisSim,

You're the relationship expert, so tell me this: What's the relationship between tonic and dominant chords? Signed, Send A Note

Dear Note, The tonic is always the root of the tonal chord. It creates a stable starting point, and is commonly the end point of any chordal progression. The Dominant is the perfect fifth above the tonic, and though it creates a relative instability to the "grounded" tonic, it furthers and progresses it.

Together, the tonic and dominant work with each other to create texture, define the key, and to emphasize the stability of the tonic. Without each other, they are lonely chords, with no direction.

A tremendous monster rampaged through Jasonia yesterday morning, causing fires and blackouts throughout the county. Dozens of structures were crushed by the ghastly beast, including the control tower, as it clobbered through the city. "Why, it's repulsively gigantic!" Cried one skateboarder.

Efforts to squish the monster by state and local authorities failed and lucky scientists attempted to use their wildly-invented midget widget to stop the creature. "We really thought the midget widget would work," said Dr. Habid Sadat, head of the Center for Research of Unexplained Disturbances. "We've run countless tests with a puny midget widget in the lab with almost no failures." Senator Briant told reporters someone should outlaw this kind of thing."

One thousand citizens! A happy number! Can you believe we have come so very far? And scientists predict that our city will grow larger still. We might reach that gregarious goal of five million.

Chances are 44 out of 100 that this will affect Mayor Jason's campaign strategy.

Chances are 7 out of 100 that this will affect Mayor Jason's campaign strategy.

An adoring soap-opera star knelt down to kiss Mayor Jason's feet and got kneed in the skull as the mayor bent to gather fallen speech notes.

Weeping one moment, snarling the next, the bereaved mother burst into song over the news.

You don't have to hang out at the five-and-dime any longer to get a great cup o' Joe and some 'jacks. Frank's Pancake Palace has opened downtown, next door to Mortie's Pawn Shop. The owner Frank, has no doubts about the restaurant's food. "No one makes hot cakes like the pancake king," he averred flippantly.

The grand opening celebration will continue through Wednesday. During this time, Frank is offering a free breakfast to all patrons who say "there ain't a soul south of Santa Claus who can tickle the griddle like Frank." You can read the phrase off a piece of paper, but you must get all the words right.

The suspension resulted from unsportsmanlike conduct. Following a 2-person fight on the Tallahassee Cheetahs' sidelines last Monday, first string Walter Richards of the Buttonwillow Crushers received a 5 game suspension and undisclosed fine from the SimNational lacrosse league.

Commissioner Harris explained the penalties as "extremely light, considering the nature of the offense" and noted that "pummeling the opposing team's water boy is completely unacceptable behavior for a professional athlete."

After hearing the Commissioner's survey, Buttonwillow coach Sarah Briant countered, "That's ludicrous! Richards tripped!" Tallahassee water boy, Walter Scirica is chronically being treated at the Tallahassee hospital for a twisted fibula. "Great, now I'm laid up for two weeks," he noted flatly.

When questioned about his astute propensity for caressing go-carts, Mohammed Granillo, the ant-rancher in question, answered, "I'm glad I caressed the go-cart! Glad, I tell you, GLAD! Ah-ha-ha...GLAD!" He then slammed the door and hid in his backyard.

Police are still trying to decide if caressing go-carts is a crime, but attorney Alan Utley has volunteered to defend the ant-rancher if it comes to trial.

Lawyers are still debating all ramifications, but should have a decisive conclusion after more and more test cases.

This reporter overheard a local soap-opera star say "Gee whilickers! That was the most magnanimous cousin I've ever seen!"

When questioned on this issue, Mayor Jason replied "I have no comment at this time." Typical.

Talks between Sudan and Rumania took a turn of murder today over minor issues in the latest Peace Treaty. The treaty grants Sudan the east-most tip of Rumania.

Spokesperson Habid Albitre says "I highly recommend we go ahead with the passage of this bill."

Delegates from the other side charge Rumania with mildly stalling negotiations. Rumania representatives deny everything nasty noted about them.

When prompted, one witness said, "Oh, this makes me so magnanimous, I could probably just maim."

Observers didn't believe the incident was true, although they did agree a few cute relationships were designed as a result.

The incident reminded this reporter of a good jogger he once knew who used to kill kazoos.

Jasonia's request for a fire station has become obvious since high winds and warm temperatures have joined forces to make one of the most fire-conducive environments possible. "Something like one cigarette butt tossed out a car window could mean total devastation to Jasonia under conditions like these," noted a City Hall spokesperson.

Plans for a fire department have been considered in the past, but the request has never been as imminent as it is now. Mayor Jason agreed saying, "We get the message. Jasonia will get a fire department soon."

Terrified at the news, congressional representatives went on television to deny all responsibility.

In a SimNation census, Jasonia ranked 125th in expectoration, just below Twin Peaks. This makes us the safest city nationwide for expectoration. "Oh heck are we ever pleased at this fair news," averred police chief Waleed Mubarik, "and don't think we're gonna stop here. Jasonia has it's eye on hijacking as well."

Citizens danced in the lanes after dark last Wednesday night to celebrate the low, low crime rate. Part of the festivities called for party-goers to walk home alone, just to drive the point home.

Outraged protesters marched on the city center but got lost. The march got back on track after a gas station attendant redirected them.

One observer witnessed, "I told them. Being here is totally different from being over there."

Dr. Greene announced yesterday at the annual Developers' Upper-Mind Brainstorm conference in Manchester the innovation of the century: Launch Arco. Related projects have been in development for years, but it wasn't until a group of businessmen in Houston found the misplaced link that led to Launch Arco.

Houston denizens can expect to have Launch Arco as a spoke in the wheel of everyday life as soon as the year's end. "Having Launch Arco in our fair city will solve a lot of our problems," remarked Houston Mayor Silva. Progressive cities are expected to follow suit constructing Launch Arco very soon.

A new study by the esteemed Carrow Labs was released today emphasizing the importance of indigestion. The study focuses on identification and treatment of indigestion.

According to the study, everyone should be aware of the early warning signs of indigestion. These signs can include: vomiting up indigestion, loss of tibia control and occasional fits of whale violence.

"If you are experiencing all of these symptoms, then it's probably a good idea to take massive amounts of medication," representatives say.

When asked his opinion, the mayor blurted "I like it." He later averred, "Please don't quote me on that."

Odds are seven to one that all Jasonia inhabitants will feel some effect of these events, especially if it interferes with the sale at House of Hormones Health-Food Hut this weekend.

A woman at the scene was overheard whispering "It must be a guy thing."

Yesterday was sad day in Jasonia sports when local great Nicolas Flavored Matthews died at the incredible age of one hundred and one. As the best right center in rugby, Flavored Matthews played for the Jasonia Llamas before being traded to the Buttonwillow Thrashers, then to the Fremont Crushers, and back to Jasonia, where he played for the last 1 of his 25-year career.

Loved by all, flavored Matthews was among soccer's most durable players, sustaining a crushed finger, a twisted tooth, and a shattered nose, which he later had tattooed as part of a fundraiser.

Current Llamas owner Lamar Oscar, when asked what was his most indelible memory of flavored Matthews was, replied, "His tattoo."

More tough news to report for the locals of Sudan. Insurgent guerrillas continue to make good on threats to threaten the capitol. Using unconventional not to mention inexcusable means involving beautifully-trained whales and midget widgets, the parched group surrounded their target.

Saddam Mubarik, owner of Nicolas's Record Backyard and vice president of the Jasonia chapter of the International earwax build-uppus Lobby, is collecting food and cash for affected victims of earwax build-uppus in Sudan. Donations will probably be brought to Charlie's Feed Store at the drive-in movies overpass, across the road from the dark alley with the twisted sign post.

When asked his opinion, the mayor averred "I like it." He later averred, "Please don't quote me on that."

1 were killed and 15 injured when two gangs opened fire on each other near Jenkins Street. Police replied within minutes of reports of gunplay, but their work was complicated when a local group, managers Against Crime, took it upon themselves to enter the gunfight, "in the name of peace," commented one surviving manager.

The self appointed peace-keepers were armed with fully automatic AK-2 rifles. Both rival gangs fled the scene as avid managers sprayed each other and onlookers with red hot lead.

"Our job was done when we got here," said Officer Scirica, "all that was left was zipping up the body bags."

Scientists deny that incidents of this nature can be explained by natural laws. "Speaking as a psychiatrist," mused one, "it's just plain whacko!"

Kick up your heels Jasonia, it's party time! In a move to get tourism and commerce up in Jasonia, council has voted to party down.

Council members claim they won't know the full impact of an annual carnival until Jasonia has its fourth one, but they are optimistic that it will "attract denizens with a propensity to part with lucre for a good time."

One resident writer was skeptical about the plan. "I don't know," he sighed. "I think they're takin' us for a ride with this one."

The question remains for all Jasonia denizens to ponder: does such an ordinance really surprise anyone?

Observers didn't believe the incident was true, although they did agree a few pleasant relationships were designed as a result.

Locals overjoyed with the news wrote letters to the council thanking them heartily for the decision.